Basically thats what it is, your meeting someone on an equal basis and looking them in the eye when shaking that hand. Solid hand shake , solid person type thing. Part of how you project yourself to a stranger on first meeting.
That might have had to do with famine, your still expected to offer but then your hosts starve if you partake.
Raised in the midwest by 1st generation german grandparents in a predominantly german/catholic area, if it matters.
Hats shoes and coats always came off when indoors, even if you are only in for a moment. They are also left at the doors unless the host says otherwise.
If you aren’t 15 minutes early, you are late.
Sunglasses came off if you were talking to anyone and you were expected to maintain eye contact.
In a formal setting, you were expected to stand if any woman, priest/reverend or someone older than you came into the room or approached your general area.
Decline the first offer of food and drink, but when they insist, you take it and compliment them on whatever they give you. – This one was always the most interesting when I was growing up. My grandmother would complain if you, as a guest, accepted on the first offer, or continued to say no after the second offer. (not in front of them, but after they left of course). If you didn’t accept her offer at all, there was a good chance you wouldn’t be invited back! It was also hard to come up with good compliments for a glass of water, but it was still expected.
These ‘rules’ seemed to be the same throughout or rural area.
The only thing that still bothers me today is lack of eye contact and being on time, although I will still stand for anyone that I believe deserves the respect.
Yep. politely refuse, then accept when they insist.
“Ah, that wet the old whistle!”.
So this rule of eating last only applies to specific instances of military dinners and family dinners featuring a father figure and his family? Seems to be more of an exception than a rule.
Yeah I dislike this custom. Seeing as how I use a wheelchair (which unavoidably gets dirty wheels, living in Michigan), having everyone else take off their shoes makes me feel particularly rotten and in the spotlight for tracking dirt and grime into their clean home (I often have no way of hosing down, or cleaning off at all my wheels other than the most superficial brush-off).
Of course, nobody would ever say anything to me about it ever, ever. I could have 10 lbs of green baby shit smeared on my wheels and I could track it on someone’s carpet and get nothing but awkward smiles in return. This only adds to my awful feelings.
I’m with you! I never wait around for someone else to get in line at a buffet. The food is there to eat, I’m not going to be shy about it (and I’m a basically shy person!). I’m not shy about the dessert either. Why would anyone want to be last in line? I’m always afraid there won’t be anything left that I like to eat!