It seems like a simple statistics problem, but I can’t figure out the answer. It’s pretty well established that men generally tend to date women who are at least a little younger (often a lot) than they are. But I can’t figure out the logistics.
Look at the OLD sites or IRL. Women who are in their 20’s get hit on by men in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, and even…well, we won’t go there. :eek: Women in their 30’s get hit on by men in their 30’s and older. Women in their 40’s, well, you get the picture. It seems like there should be a log jam, or a man jam, in there somewhere. Even if every woman in her 20’s, for instance, was willing to date men in their 50’s–and most of them are not willing–there would still be many more men competing for women in that age group than are available. The same would be true of women in their 30’s and, to a lesser extent, women in their 40’s. (Once a woman hits the big 50, much fewer men seem interested no matter how fine she is, but I don’t have anything but anecdotal evidence for this.)
Statistically, there should be a whole slew of men who are SOL because there are too many of them for too small a pool of young women. Of course, there are fewer unmarried men in their 50’s and 60’s, but even factoring that in, there should still be many more men looking for young or young-ish women relative to the number of women who are available. Yet this doesn’t seem to be the case. What happens to these men? (Note: I am looking for statistical information or a site where I can access the stats.)
There is a “logjam”, but it affects both men and women at different life stages. More men than women are single in their 20’s, for instance, while more women than men are single in their 40’s and later.
Looking at the numbers in a very simple example: say you’ve got a heterosexual mating pool of 10 men and 10 women, and half of each group is in their 20’s and half in their 40’s. And say just as a frinstance that two of the older men pair up with two of the younger women.
Now there are 3 single women under 30 and 5 single women over 40, and the other way around in the men’s group. Even if we pair off all the remaining older men with women in their own age group, and all the remaining younger women with men in their own age group, there are still going to be two unpaired men under 30 and two unpaired women over 40.
SO…there’s a shorter-duration logjam for men (in their 20’s) and a much longer logjam of women (40’s to 80’s and beyond)? Since it’s a longer logjam, that also means there are many more women involved. Ugh. Very depressing. Sucks to be a woman, I guess.
You’re assuming that women are only the passive recipients of male attention. You should consider who women are hitting on. If women, like men, are seeking younger partners that would counterbalance the equation. Men in their thirties would be hitting on women in their twenties. And men in their twenties would be getting hit on by women in their thirties.
Well, not as bad as all that. In addition to the cultural changes that Little Nemo mentioned where it’s become more acceptable for older women to pair up with younger men, the really large discrepancy in absolute numbers of men and women doesn’t kick in until a pretty advanced age. IIRC the average life expectancy for American men nowadays is early 70’s while for women it’s late 70’s.
So while the lack of eligible heterosexual partners in one’s own age cohort is definitely very marked for single women over 70, bear in mind that that tends to be for many people a life stage in which finding a partner is considered less important. In younger age groups, the gender imbalance is much less severe.
The industry standard formula is the youngest woman a man should date is half his age plus seven. For example, I am 38. I should date no younger than 26.
Just tossing that out there.
Here’s the deal. Younger women tend to be in higher demand. There are several reasons for this. Some are biological, like child bearing ability and whatnot. Others are purely superficial or social such as they simply tend to be more attractive, more fun and carry less relationship baggage with them.
But there is also a “cougar factor” where men are attracted to older and more experienced women. And women’s sexuality tends to peak in their late 30s or 40s IIRC. But, eventually time catches up with them and their stock declines.
So think of a curve of woman’s age vs desirability. It would be skewed bell starting in their early teens, peaking around their mid to late 20s and then trailing off over the next several decades.
Men, OTOH, are on a different curve. We tend to develop “character” and maturity as we age (provide we don’t let ourselves go to shit). Not to mention our income, wealth and levels of accomplishment tend to increase as well.
So the male age v desirability curve tends to start our relatively low in the teen age years (when most of us are slobbering immature geeks) and sort of peaks in our mid 30s and 40s.
The two curves tend to intersect sometime around the 30s. And that’s why men in their 30s tend to marry slightly younger women.
My friends in their thirties assure me they do, to a certain extent, hit on younger men–not as many women are interested in younger men, and not as many younger men are interested in older women, particularly once those women hit 45 or so-- despite all the media attention to “cougars.”
I teach high school students, so I’m pretty familiar with the whole phenomenon where freshmen boys can’t get girls because the girls are generally only interested in sophomores and older. However, that generally seems to resolve itself by the end of sophomore year. There are exceptions: I know a senior girl who is dating a very grateful freshmen boy, but it’s notable for it’s rarity.
I know this is GQ, but I really have to address this. Yes, many of us in our 60s, and beyond, have active sex lives. And our partners can be much younger or the same age or older. If your reaction to this is :eek:, then your ignorance needs to be fought. Hopefully you’ll feel differently when you get older.
However, past a certain age, there are more women than (since men die on average earlier. More men than women are born, but equilibrium is reached quite early, maybe around 20, I’m not sure). Past this point since women outnumber men, some will out of necessity be unable to find a mate. And the older they (the women) get, the more significant the difference is.