The most awkward Jesus painting is ...

Here’s a disturbing one. I know it’s supposed to be comforting, what with the lion lying down with the lamb, but really it’s terrifying. The adults in the background are charging forwards, screaming “My babies! That lion is going to eat my babies! Dear god in heaven please what is that lunatic doing to my babies!”

And the lion does look a bit peckish.

Run away, kids, run!

I’m glad that this one has the explanation, because I was confused: “Jesus is on the white good side and the devil on the evil red side.” I was sure the red one was the good Jesus! How are you supposed to tell?!

I’d love to see “Jesus Eating M&M’s”

And there’s that same giraffe as the Adam and Eve painting.

It’s disturbing that Big J is only ever shown in two outfits: the loincloth crucifix version and the plain white robe with rope belt. It’s like the artist is incapable of thinking about Him in any other terms. Or thinks that of us.
“Maybe I should should portray Jesus in a business suit like all the other business guys. Nah, then it somehow wouldn’t be JESUS.”

Are you sure that’s not Aslan?

It’s one of the publicity pics from the Jesus/Aslan summit. They cropped out most of the Narnians.

Ninja’ed!

Oh, I’m sure it’s meant to be.

Hulk Jesus

:rolleyes: Jesus…

“Don’t crucify me. You wouldn’t like me when I’m crucified.”

This is… amazing. I had to find a larger version just to soak in the detail.

The people in the left foreground seem to be the Good People; a doctor, a Marine, a teacher, a woman with a child on her lap and a wedding ring on her finger (but on her right hand because her left hand is offering up her older son to Jesus), a farmer, a man holding a bible, a black man holding a copy of The Five Thousand Year Leap (oh my god what a nice touch!).

Foreground right are Evil People. Some of them may be famous but I don’t recognize them. There’s a man counting a stack of money, a judge (weeping), a journalist (female too, she should be home making dinner instead of out doing evil, amirite?), a smug asshole, a cell phone talking asshole, a pregnant woman without a ring on her finger, a man holding Charles Darwin’s book over his heart with, literally, the spectre of death looking over his shoulder.

I’m so hard right now.

Change my pitch up, smack my bitch up.

I want to know why Jesus has the White Tree of Gondor on his chest?

He’s a Tolkien fan?

:smiley:

Do we really want to go there?

Kirk: “What does God need with a handgun?” (he can smite with no constraint of time, place or scale)

(or for that matter, with a constitution? He has already set down the entire arc of the universe so righteousness triumphs)

That is awesome.

He does clean up nicely.

I like Tuxedo Jesus. He becomes Agent Double-O-Heaven: “Christ. Jesus Christ.”

Didn’t see these posted, so…

Here’s the descriptive version from the artist:

Here’s a slightly different version.