Be completely honest, but has anyone ever actually masturbated and/or had sex in church?
I’ll confess, I once had sex in a church builiding. It wasn’t being used at the time, as the congregation had moved somewhere else, but I guess it would still count. SHARE!
Dude, you’re going to hell!
Okay, well in my head it was funny. Reread it in the Dell guy voice.
Nope.
You are the Only One.
Ever.
In the history of the world.
What kind of guy are you!? 
An evil, demented, perverted one.
I have.
It was…uncomfortable.
So, was this a church that had been converted into a Motel 6, and the original architecture left unchanged? You know what I mean; everyone has seen places of business that were once Pizza Huts or Taco Bells. Maybe the same thing happens to churches.
Nope just an empty building someone we knew had bought, and we happend to have access to the keys.
Ya know, I’m not religious - and still find that a little disturbing. Surely there were other empty buildings around? Or perhaps your own home? I’d be surprised if you get any others to admit they’ve done the same thing. But then, one never knows. Please tell us you were younger and less intelligent when you performed this act.
I am now 100% convinced there should be a separate thread for TMI stuff…
Of course. It’s an important part of growing up.
Had rockin’ sex on my 23rd birthday in an active church (well, there was no one in it at the time, but it was still in use). Found out later it was also a historic site. Knocked 2 points off that pesky purity test score.
The way I look at it, those pesky Christians have been desecrating our religious sites for centuries; turnabout’s fair play. Plus we cleaned up the place afterwards, and even left a little sprig of mistletoe in the offering plate.
I have as well; after reading bobkitty’s post, I WISH mine had been a historical building! Mine was built in the 70’s. Lots of brown brick, but the grooviest stained glass!
I visited a pastor in Ohio for about three weeks; we had tons of sex in his house (which is part of the church, although not the main sanctuary building).
Does this count?
In a tiny little chapel, New Years Eve, 1999.
In fancy dress.*
*By which I mean that we were both, (entirely coincidentally,) dressed as nuns, not that it was a formal affair.
Never done it, but I’d like to see it done at the Vatican. They deserve it, with all their stupid proclamations about gay marriage and such.
Dude, forget it. Have you ever been in St. Peters? No way…too many people. Now maybe someplace in the twisting coridors of the museaum, but they have cameras all over the place, and people wandering about the whole time. You have a better chance of fucking in the White House during a tour than doing it in the Vatican.
Unless you know someone that can get you in as something other than a tourist.
A friend and I once came up with a list of “Least socially acceptable places/most uncomfortable places to have sex” (It was gym class, we were bored.) On said list were:
*In a church (double points if it’s occupied)
*In the confessional of a catholic church (triple points if it’s occupied)
*On the bima of a synagogue (double points if a service is taking place)
*In a coffin (triple points if it’s during a funeral, quintuple points if it’s an open-casket one or if you do it in the church in the coffin).
Especially for the priest.
Regards,
Shodan
This is how Opie and Anthony got kicked off the radio! Apparantly, sex in a church while on the air in most major markets is upsetting to some people.
I got a handjob at church camp.
Don’t forget the alter boy.