The new pro wrestling thread, brother! OH YEAH!

Cafe Society
61

The only time I ever rooted for Hogan was during his first WWWF run, managed (IIRC) by the Grand Wizard. He was a heel who feuded with Bob Backlund and Andre the Giant, and his legdrop was called Hogan’s Hammer. Then he went to the AWA, where he refined his craft (not the ringwork portion, unfortunately) before being brought back to anchor the wrestling explosion.

That said, he’s was the second most charismatic wrestler of the 1980s, and he had a bigger stage to show it. Every time he walks out into an arena, the building shakes. Vince McMahon can’t ignore it. So Hogan keeps making brief appearances, mutually beneficial for the WWE and for Hogan. I don’t understand it either, but I’ve been at an arena and I’ve felt the love the place had for Hogan. As long as he’s not overexposed, he’s money in the bank.

62

He’s getting a new reality show on VH1, Hogan Knows Best, an Osbournes ripoff where he plays the overprotective father for his hot blonde daughter Brooke, an aspiring Britney-style pop singer. I forgot that Raw opened with a five-minute promo for the new show, so of course they’re going to hype it and pull the Hulkster out of mothballs for another short run.

63

I do have to say that Hogan’s grilling of the 22-year-old that comes to take out his 16-year-old daughter was damn hilarious. To the kid’s credit, he does try to hold his own, but, at the end of the day, you gotta answer your would-be date’s father’s questions, no matter how weird they are, ESPECIALLY when he could tear your arms off if he wanted to.
Copied from my LJ re: Hogan/Michaels:

This is obviously a heel turn (pun intended) for Michaels, but why? He had a solid fan-base going and the makings of an excellent feud with Kurt Angle. Angle was bringing out some of the best I’ve seen in a long time from Michaels. That was a feud that could have generated some serious heat and gone on for a year or more. Now, it’s just going to be a series of slugfests with Hogan, who can’t move as quickly as we’d like (or at all) any more. He insists that he’s fully recovered from his hip-replacement surgery, but if this is him at 100%, I’m not sure I want to watch him. I mean, Carlito had to pretend to be scared for about half an hour while Hogan gimped his way through the ropes for what should have been a hot tag.

I just don’t think Hogan can work any more. I hope I’m proven wrong. But it’s a bad position to be in when you’re a Shawn Michaels fan. I can’t root against Hogan. A big chunk of my own act is crediting my accomplishments to the fact that I live my life by the Four Demandments of Hulkamania (train hard, say your prayers, take your vitamins, and believe in yourself). Besides, nobody in their right mind roots against Hogan. Fan sentiment and Hogan’s friendship with Vince McMahon will put him on top of any rivalry, whether he holds up his end of the match or not. Michaels isn’t going to generate any heat feuding with Hogan, and it’s not going to put him any closer to the one more title I hope he has in him. Besides, how is this going to jibe with Michael’s not-overtly-publicized-but-still-acknowledged stance as a born-again Christian? He hasn’t worked heel since his conversion, and laying the mother of all Pearl Harbor jobs on the very symbol of upstanding America is going to take a little bit of ‘splainin’.

I just don’t see good matches coming out of this feud, and I hate to see Hogan taking away screen time from younger superstars. But then, the WWE has Chavo Guerrero changing his name to Cerwyn White and blaming his lack of a title on the “Hispanic people (setting him up for a feud with “Mexicool,” a stable of greasy Mexicans in coveralls who ride lawn-tractors to the ring- I swear I am not making this up),” throwing as much generic silicone-blonde T&A at the screen as they possibly can, and continuing to give screen and air time to Matt Fking Morgan and Gene Fking Snitsky while releasing Matt Hardy and keeping the Dudleys shelved, well, I hope you like watching big ol’ uncharismatic hosses pounding each other, Vince, because most of the rest of us do NOT. Remember the Ultimate Warrior, Vince? I do, and you lost my business for a few years because of that dweeb.

I don’t like the way this is going.

I really wanted Michaels/Angle. I want good matches. McMahon is going to sell some tickets in the short run, but getting the people to keep coming back is going to be tricky with no compelling reasons to tune in.

64

Too bad they moved Chavo/Kerwin from Smackdown to Raw, AWAY from the Mexicools, who he did seem tailor-made to feud with, or perhaps to reunite Eddie and Rey as faces against, for a 3-on-3 tag team. One more decision that made no sense whatsoever. Chavo is a very talented wrestler and as good on the mic as his Uncle Eddie, but on Raw, all he can do is get saddled with stupid gimmicks and job to hosses, whereas at least on Smackdown there was some semblance of a cruiserweight division. Oh well, he survived Pepe the wooden horse, selling Amway, and being “Lieutenant Loco” in the Misfits In Action, so I’m sure he can survive being “Kerwin White.”

65

Ooops. My fault.

I guess they want to insult Hispanics on TWO nights instead of one.

Get the self-loathing angle on Mondays and the overblown stereotype on Thursdays.
I can’t wait for the debut of Paddy the drunken Irish brawler.

66

Fit Finlay is the Diva trainer, IIRC.

67

As if the username isn’t a big enough giveaway, I’m a fan as well. (Yes, I am a Jeff Hardy fan - I am quite aware that at best he is an unfocused, can’t find an airport with six tries spot monkey but dammit, he’s pretty)
I’ve watched since I was a wee girl - I remember Hogan’s original climb to the top and I hated that orange goblin even back then. I’ve always been more into the heels. I’d take Piper over Hogan any day. I stopped watching for about five years when things got too cartoony - it was ECW and Austin that brought me back. I’d deny just how hard I marked out during One Night Stand but I have a witness who lost hearing in one of his ears.
I liked the Michaels heel turn because it was surprising. It wasn’t something that I predicted -unlike most of the draft picks. The Diva Search segments need to go and go NOW but as long as the target market is 18-25 men, the t&a will flourish.

68

Fuck. I am so pissed right now, I might as well post this news in the Pit.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but WWE announced today the release of Gangrel, Billy Kidman, Shannon Moore, Akio, Maven and Mark Jindrak.

69

Damn, Spike Dudley and Kevin Fertig were released as well. I’m not familiar with Fertig, but Spike was a crowd favorite (and a reliable jobber), and I rather liked Billy Kidman, Akio (known as Jimmy Yang in WCW), and Shannon Moore.

70

Wow. I thought they moved Jindrak to Raw to get him some actual air time. He needed a gimmick, but I thought he could be decent.

Maven, eh. The Rock said his fifteen minutes were up long ago and could I please have my scthick back?

Kidman, what he wasn’t Mexicool enough?

Shannon Moore, eh. No big loss.

Akio. Wait a minute they get rid of three cruiserweights and bring in three other ones. Hmmm. Revitalizing the division or just letting Super Crazy and Psichosis run nuts before they get fired?

Little Spike? That really sucks. Next to Funaki, he was my favorite cruiser.

And poor Gangrel. You know, for a fat guy, he was really, really fast. I thought he had the best entrance and while I don’t think they ever gave him the mic, but he had some memorable moments and was a reliable midcarder - just arrogant enough to get some heat so he didn’t seem like a total jobber, but definitely with the skills to make a good heel/jobber.

And the story in Foley’s book about losing a fang in Too Cold Scorpio’s butt cheek was priceless.

I was all excited to see the WWF going places, then the draft hit and they moved the upper card of Smackdown! to Raw and the midcard of Raw over to SD!. Too bad.

71

In order: he got hired again?, eh, eh, who?, about time and he’s still around?

Letting Little Spike Dudley (the colors! the colors!) go is a dumb idea, but then again, Vince apparently has no clue what to do with the Dudleys anyway, which is why they’re doing an OVW show at Six Flags later this month.

Kidman and Moore will get TNA spots, especially Kidman. Maven never had a gimmick and Jindrak could have been good if WCW or WWE knew how to book him.

72

Jeez, you guys are geeks. I was just coming in to post about poor Spike, and you beat me to it by 3 hours! Do you get text messages of this stuff?

Gangrel did nothing for me. No matter how hard he tried, Kidman couldn’t buy a personality. The rest - talent gets cut because creative (led by the in-over-her-head Stephanie McMahon) aren’t creative and won’t right for the characters. Still, creative knows who signs the checks - Snitsky and Heidenreich are still employed. Big, bigger and biggest are what Vinnie Mac wants.

73

I’ve always been a Kidman mark. I’ll never forget his classic matches with and against Rey Mysterio and the other cruiserweights in WCW. And he must have some personality; the dude married Torrie Wilson, after all. Akio and Shannon Moore are excellent as well, and I’ll really miss those three guys a lot.

74

Well, when was the last time you heard anyone cheer for any of the aforementioned guys (with the exception of Little Spike)? I thought Heidenreich was great until the Undertaker feud abruptly ended and Booker made him realize that the important thing in life was friends.

75

While I’m not going to particularly miss any of the current releases besides Spike, I can’t fathom getting rid of Shannon Moore or Maven while keeping lugs like Tomko and Snitsky around.

Howevvvvver, Psicosis and Juventud are in the house, so Vince has somewhat reduced my Miff-O-Meter rating about this. Yes, I’m a hopeless mark for CWs, why do you ask?

76

Chairman, sometimes Vince listens to the noise the fans make. That’s how Mick Foley became a champion, more than any other reason. The fans loved Mick, and Mick had personality to spare. It helped that he was a hard worker who put on a great show between the ropes. Just as often he ignores them. No matter how hard he’s tried to bury RVD, the fans still love him.

More often, Vince listens to that little voice inside his head saying, “Get me the biggest MoFo out there, regardless of talent or charisma.” We then end up with Snitsky, Heidenreich, Masters, Kane (who desperately needs repackaging), and a host of other, failed big men. Sometimes he gets the big man he wants (Undertaker), but that’s the exception. Batista is showing promise, but we need to see how he matures as a personality and a worker.

My belief is that the people who have Vince’s ear (HHH, JBL) really don’t want smaller, better workers beating them (not that HHH is a bad worker, he’s just a megalomaniac). That’s the only reason I can think that Jericho was saddled with the lamest stories during his title run, and Benoit and Guerrero had short title runs.

BBVL, whatever personality Kidman showed to nail Torrie (pun intended) has never come through on the camera. Back in the day when managers were common, he would have benefitted greatly. I love watching cruisers too, but Vince and Stephanie bury them all the time. He has no idea how to use them.

77

I forgot all about Tyson Tomko. Who in the blue hell is this guy and why does he still have a contract when Shannon Moore and Mark Jindrak don’t?

I kind of like Heidenreich, I have to say. His poems and his “friend search” are very reminiscent of the 80’s fan stuff, like when Bret Hart used to give his glasses to a kid at ringside.

Chris Masters has no charisma whatsoever, and they’re trying so hard to push him and his idiotlock. But I saw the guy work at a dark show in Boston, and he’s honestly not all that bad. Not great, but not bad. The problem is, there are more exciting matches out there, and I’d rather turn off the TV than watch the jobber of the week go “unconscious” from a full nelson. I really can’t stand the guy. He’s like Paul Roma without the charisma. :dubious:

I’d rather watch Koko B. Ware against the Red Rooster in a best of five falls match than most of the WWE undercard these days.

78

Terry Taylor was a great worker, but he was small and Vince killed his career with that lame Red Rooster gimmick. Maybe Dusty Rhodes could have saved it (like he saved that lame gimmick Vince saddled him with during his WWF run), but as big and as ugly as DR was, he was Charismatic. At least Hector Guerrero was in a full body costume as the Gobbledygook, and the many faces of Doink had so much makeup that only smarks (much harder in pre-internet days) knew who was wearing the face paint.

Don’t knock the WWE undercard. You’ve got Christian, Jericho, Benoit, cruisers, Tajiri, Benjamin, Haas (another fine worker who they need to do something with), Richards, Hurricane and Rosey, and some promising rookies and sophmores (the La Resistance people, MNM). If only Vince would send Stephanie away, and let Cornette book Smackdown and Heyman book RAW…or vice versa. But I’m dreaming again.

79

I like Heidenreich too. And Snitsky, although the bookers seem clueless as to what to do with them. Maybe they ought to make them a tag team of unhinged, psychotic manlove. Come on, they’d be goofy hell on wheels, especially since all the other tag teams have been split up.

I’m sad they let Spike Dudley go, but like others have said, they can’t seem to figure out how to book any of the Dudleys. Or most of their fun, interesting, talented guys for that matter. The fact that guys like Tomko and Masters are still on my TV is one of the main reasons I usually read a book while my husband watches the show in the same room.

Oh, and the whole frggin’ Diva Search–they ignore or fire any talented women wrestlers they already have, and bring on a new Personality-less Whore Parade every few months! They waste valuable TV time on a boring, played-out gimmick that the audience seems to have little interest in. At least now it’s Coach doing it instead of Lawler. If Lawler falls into a volcano tomorrow, my only regret will be that I didn’t put him on my Death Pool list this year.

80

Because he’s business casual from the waist down?
Because he’s a big guy?