We didn’t sit down and say “let’s never have sex again,” it just became longer and longer in between and we were tired or we had something else to do or whatever. And we are a little chubby but not immobile or anything, and he does have some erectile issues, but those problems would easily be remedied if we really wanted to. Occasionally one of us will say “we should have sex one of these days” and we’ll laugh and go “eh, maybe tomorrow.”
I really don’t think so. We do both have some sexual weirdness (mental) and we’re very compatible fantasy-wise, we just don’t want to do it. Believe me when I say we are giddily happy together, and if anything he wants it less than I do. I’d never deprive him if it were just me. I don’t feel like we’re wrong for not having sex, but I’d rather have everyone I know assume we’re going at it like bunnies. I’ve heard that you can’t have a good marriage without a good sex life but it really works for us.
I’m single and date. I’ve found that if women don’t want to get fairly physical by the 3rd date it’s a largely a waste of time to pursue the relationship because there’s no real spark, or they have issues. Women who are comfortable with sex earlier are generally far more emotionally healthy and comfortable to be with.
I hate racists, but at the same time I think poorly of black people who disproportionately tip poorly and abuse wait staff. I think wait staff’s desire to avoid them as customers is entirely reasonable.
I think women are naturally manipulative and I love to watch them in action being bitchy about other women.
I think the political leaders of Israel and US supporters of Israel have far too much influence in US politics and are extraordinarily arrogant about this influence.
I think women with large visible tattoos and tramp stamps makes them look easy and skanky, and most of the time I think this would pan out IRL.
I think 90%+ of all conservatives are huge, hidebound racists. They can pretend otherwise, but I’ve hung with them while drinking and I know this is true.
Overtly gay men that give off a overly simpering, submissive vibe disturb me. I’m polite but I try to avoid dealing with them if possible. Masculine gay men are perfectly fine, queeny gay men creep me out.
The thought of dating a black woman intrigues me, but I’m too much of a chicken to make a move in that direction. I have this irrational notion they would always be angry about something.
I think the article by Tracy McMillan “Why You’re Not Married” is one of the most accurate and incisive pieces I’ve ever read on the quest to be married. Most of it is gospel truth.
I like to get blackout drunk to escape from being myself. My habitual drinking recently caused problems for me at work, so I took a week-long break. I celebrated my week of sobriety by drinking a bottle of Scotch on Saturday. I don’t know whether I should try to limit my drinking or aim for functional alcoholism. At least booze makes me (somewhat) happy.
Don’t. Just come back and start posting. Don’t bring it up again unless someone else does, or people will think you’re attention-whoring and want to start up the old ruckus again. Probably most people won’t even remember.
I found it amusingly contradictory that these were stated together:
[ul]
[li]I hate racists…[/li][li]I think the political leaders of Israel and US supporters of Israel have far too much influence in US politics and are extraordinarily arrogant about this influence.[/li][li]The thought of dating a black woman intrigues me, but I’m too much of a chicken to make a move in that direction. I have this irrational notion they would always be angry about something.[/li][/ul]
You, sir, are a racist yourself. And self-admittedly, irrationally so.
I’m not sure how the second bullet point is remotely racist; it’s a political statement about Israel and its supporters, not a blanket statement about Jews (many of whom also think Israel has too much influence in US politics).
The third one is technically racist but fairly benign as these things go and a far cry from just saying, for example, “black women are always angry about something”. I’m pretty sure that’s not the kind of racism he is talking about.
And for the avoidance of doubt, I’m not the person who wrote that, nor do I know who it is.
I’m the poster from response #6 who got fired for having a BAC of .022. My husband unexpectedly quit his job. We’ve liquidated both of our retirement funds, and now we’re about two months from losing our home. Bankruptcy seems like a certainty now. All because I showed up at work with booze in my system…
(as a further explanation)
Both my husband and I are men. The glasses of wine were both of the 32 oz. variety, I’m ashamed to say…
I have alexithymia. This will seem rambly. My impression of this condition is that I am devoid of passion. I have stood at the top of a beautiful ski run under fantastic blue skys and yet felt nothing. Apart from a strange obligation to my parents and a strong genetic love/responsibility towards my children/grandchildren (aka “the selfish gene”), I can’t say I really love anyone.
I don’t particulary enjoy socialising, but have been married for a long time. My wife thinks we are headed to retirement in good shape, and we are- financially. I basically exist to exist. Even my relationship with my wife is bogus. She is a controlling type personality so I basically let her make all decisions and go along. I learnt long ago that argument is futile so very little is discussed.
On bad days I fanticize over my death, her death or winning the lottery (in that order) and how that would affect me. Not that the money would matter, I’m quite non-materialistic. I have few valuable possesions.
Before I self-diagnosed, I thought I was depressed and did get treatment for that. I know now that I wasn’t depressed, I just feel nothing.
I drink too much, shooting for “comfortably numb”.
My favourite pastime is a long drive with good music on, somehow music can get through and make me “feel”.
Yeah, a half-gallon of wine is a hell of a lot different than two glasses of wine. But I guess it’s hard to admit the whole thing all in one post. BAC of .022 makes sense.
Have you stopped drinking, if only for budgetary reasons?
I used to enjoy hurting animals. No long lasting type damage, but really mean, abusive, terrible things. I felt powerful and crazy about it. I haven’t done it in a long time, and I came clean with the person whose animal I hurt and told them what I had done, and was forgiven. But I still haven’t forgiven myself and I don’t feel I ever deserve it. I haven’t had the urge or desire to do it again but sometimes I wonder if I will, sometimes I wonder if I’m just better of killing myself before I hurt another animal again. I’m afraid to get professional help for it because it’s so illegal I’m afraid they’d have to report me to the authorities and I’m scared.
I was babysitting my niece when she was about 18 mouths old. We were playing and she was standing in my lap. She would not stop pulling my hair and I bit her. It was through her clothes and it didn’t leave a mark. But she screamed bloody murder. No one ever knew but I was mortified.
WAG: The writer said just that. I assume anyone could write in and lie, claiming to be that person, but the real writer might read the fake post and protest in PMs.
I am a divorced mother of grown children. I recently joined the lifestyle (swinging) with my friend with benefits. we have gone to several house parties and have most recently had a four-way with another couple that involved bi action on the part of all parties, It was the most MIND-BENDINGLY awesome time of my life. I have never felt so loved and cherished. I cannot wait to do it again.,
It’s hard for me to see how you were “loved and cherished” unless the four of you are thinking of forming a poly bond of some kind. Are you? If not, then didn’t you just have great sex, without the “loving and cherishing?”
I’m not a swinger, but great sex makes me feel loved and cherished. I imagine having the attention of three people you find appealing would be pretty validating if you’re into that kind of thing.
I can also totally imagine how being in a foursome makes you feel loved and cherished. Not only them paying attention to you, but if they are considerate of your desires/needs, kind, loving, romantical, why not?
Maybe it makes you “feel” cherished for some reason. But isn’t the point of feeling cherished actually being cherished? The secret-spiller I was responding to says they feel cherished. What I’m casting doubt on is the idea that they were cherished. (Cautious doubt–I don’t know the details, just asking, etc.)
And we’re saying you really have no idea! I can absolutely imagine a scenario of group sex where everyone feels cherished. If the other people are making a huge effort to make sure you enjoy every moment, addressing your needs/insecurities, treating you wonderfully, paying attention to you, going at the pace you need, cuddling, holding, showing how thrilled they are you are there, I don’t see how that’s not cherishing!
When I was in college I had a brief…affair, I guess, I can’t think of the word. Anyway it was purely about sex for us. And yet he made me feel wonderfully cherished because he was so kind and loving. I remember being surprised and even commenting on how sweet he was.
