The Next Distracting Tabloid News Headline

OK, today’s been one of the worst news days for the Bush Administration since their domestic surveillance program was ruled unconsitutional in a federal court. Anyone remember what also happened that day? That’s right, Karr was arrested in Thailand for extradition in the Ramsey case.

But this thread is not debating the merits of the Bush Administration, or evaluating the role of Media in our society. This thread is about predicting Tomorrow’s Big Headline.

You know, the one that will dominate the news cycle at the expense of goings on in Washington DC and Iraq… the news that will keep Rita Cosby and Nancy Grace employed another week.

My guesses:

[ul]
[li] OJ Simpson arrested for the murder of Anna Nicole Smith.[/li]
[li] Princess Diana emerges from hiding, explains death faked to avoid arranged marriage to Steve Irwin.[/li]
[li] Laura Bush announces she’s been receiving messages from extraterrestrials. “They say that we’re just like them, only tastier,” First Lady relays.[/li]
[li] Florida hospital announces the birth of the first human/sea cow interspecies hybrid to Sarasota woman. “Oh the Hu-manatee,” quips proud mom.[/li]
[li] Terror Alert raised to Pomegranite for Normal, IL and Bucksnort, ND based on “credible threat and sensible advice from Lynne Cheney” - remains at Burnt Umber for rest of nation.[/li]
[li] Oprah and Dr. Phil announce engagement, plans for simultaneous sex change operations to precede nuptials.[/li]
[/ul]

Shuttle OK, but debris photos show alien invasion

Condoleeza caught cheating on boy-toy Canadian foreign minister…with Mexican foreign minister

Stingray born with Steve Irwin’s face

Tiger Woods has three wives…nude pics of all of them

All U.S. politicians discovered to be part Jewish