If you are meeting these men via on-line dating, I think they may more be trying to gauge what to expect from you, because certain people seemed drawn to e-dating than others. (note, I am not knocking it - I met my husband that way, but I had to dig through a lot of riff raff to find him). Some people who use on-line dating do so because they fail miserably at finding people any other way. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but people who have barely dated by age 30 take some special handling and it is helpful to know up front if you are dealing with someone who is essentially a “dating virgin”. I once dated a man who had been married for 20 years and divorced, and his ex-wife was the only woman he had ever been with. There were SO many things about dating etiquette that he didn’t know and I really got tired of teaching him… Then there are also “serial” daters who live on on-line sites. These people never stay with one person long, and have ridiculously tough standards, so as soon as they find any flaw in you, they are on to the next. I think it is perfectly valid to ask someone their general dating history if you meet on-line - but there should be no need of specifics or exact counts.
While “none of your business” can come off as rude, you can still give a response that should satisfy them to some degree without giving anything away. I would say something like, “I have had my fair share of dates, a handful of long term relationships, but nothing out of the ordinary or worth discussing. I leave my past in my past.”
Yeah, I am on plenty of fish as well as 2 others and it just seems like it is always in the first 10 questions the topic of sex and partners always comes up. I don’t have any racy pictures up. Just me with my hair down smiling. Pretty G rated. I have gotten to the point that once the topic is brought up in a time period where I feel it is too soon (ie before we meet or on the first date) I tend to get annoyed or either say something if I feel there is a connect or just not talk to them again.
I wasn’t sure if I was over reacting or being to sensitive.
While you are perfectly right for the most part, I think the questions in question, ‘How many people have you been with?,’ is specifically about sex and nothing else. So finding out wouldn’t tell you if someone had been married six times or had never been in a single relationship.
First they want raw numbers, then they want grapic details, which makes them eat their hearts out; then they insist on a unique positon or orfice so that at least they can be your first in some respect (even though the reason that position or orfice is available is because you don’t want it).
I always suggest changing the topic to avoid awkward situations. Try* “hey, you know what would really turn me on? Let’s go rob a liquor store!”*
Finally, if and only if your relationship can survive sexual jealously, you two can then fight about money like a real couple.
Again, I suggest changing the topic:* “hey, you know what would really get us out of this hole? Let’s go rob a liquor store!”*
I’m a couple of decades older than you, so of an age (and a generation) where the question is very uncommon – but if asked, I say “More than one and less than a hundred.”
I’m not a virgin but I’ve always wanted to get to the point where I’m in bed with a man (obviously not someone I care about too much) and then drop the bomb that it’s my very first time and see what he does. Hilarity (and penis?) ensues!
ETA: I’m tight enough where I’m sure most guys would assume that I’m not too experienced.
Because that’s a pretty high number? It doesn’t matter how old you are, once you’re in the double digits, you’re nearing slut territory. Or maybe I’m just a little old fashioned. Damn kids.
Yeah…I think that “double digits=slut territory” is kind of a strange thinking. It’s one thing if you reach double digits in a month. But ten partners over the course of ten or fifteen years seems pretty reasonable to me. Also, what about things like oral or hand jobs and so forth? Are we only counting “real” (i.e., heterosexual intercourse) sex? It gets more complicated…
The good news is that as you get older “the number” becomes completely irrelevant. In fact, you want your partner to have had wide and deep experience, the more the better. But I do understand that as a youngster it has more significance.
Re: the OP, if someone was using it as a selection criteria I’d certainly find someone else to play with, however.
