[QUOTE=Justin Credible]
To all: I never meant to come off as judgmental, it just breaks my heart a little when people have such a cavalier attitude toward something that is so special, so powerful. I’m not an old fogey. Hell, I’m 27. Believe me, I have the same sexual urges and desires that everyone else has. It was especially strong when I was a teenager, as is probably the case for many people. I constantly wanted to get laid. Of course, I had girlfriends during that time, but no relationship ever progressed to the point of sex. And now, in my adult life, I am glad of that fact. I did have sex with a couple of girls during my first year of college, and sometimes I do regret that. I don’t know if I would change it or not though.
When I was 19 I met the woman who would become my wife. By then, I had had sex with 4 other girls (in the time frame of just a couple of months. After the first one, I thought what does it matter and I lowered my standards significantly. I was definately not exercising good judgment at that time), and she had been with one guy, one time when she was 16. That doesn’t bother me. And, I’m sure the fact that I’ve been with 4 other girls doesn’t bother her too much either. We’ve never really talked about it beyond the initial sexual conversation soon after we started dating.
Sometimes though, I do wish that neither of us had had sex before we met. I can’t say that it’s damaged our relationship in any perceivable way, but how nice it would be to know that the lovemaking that we share was unique and that no one else had ever experienced it with one of us. It could only strengthen the bond that we share.
That is what you take away from your future if you don’t wait. The knowledge that no one else has ever been a part of this special act and no one ever will.
Obviously, a lot of people feel differently about it, and that’s fine. I just think it’s a bit sad to see sex treated like any other mundane activity.
And as for the question in the OP: It definately isn’t an appropriate question to ask in initial conversations. It’s best saved for once you begin to get serious and think long-term. But I know for me, I could never get serious with a girl without knowing about her past, sexual past included. I’m sure as you get older, an exact number doe become less important, but there is nothing wrong with at least wanting to know a ballpark figure.
[/QUOTE]
Lowered your standards? What standards? What does her enjoying sex have to do with the worthiness of her as a person?
No one can experience the love-making you have with your wife (unless you’re into threesomes).
How do you know your partner isn’t lying because she knows you’ll judge her?
Watch this when you get a chance: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0496574/
It’s the label; not the act, that is damaging.
