Was I promiscuous in college? Let me put it this way: if I’d had a $100 sponsor every time I’d done the “Walk of Shame,” we’d have a cure for Lupus now.
Of course you weren’t. You were just being socially responsible…it isn’t your fault that there weren’t any sponsers for your worthy cause. 
Yeah, but come on now–Lupus? Truly a worthy cause? There’s a lot of sick people out there, but believe you me…it is NEVER lupus.
To all: I never meant to come off as judgmental, it just breaks my heart a little when people have such a cavalier attitude toward something that is so special, so powerful. I’m not an old fogey. Hell, I’m 27. Believe me, I have the same sexual urges and desires that everyone else has. It was especially strong when I was a teenager, as is probably the case for many people. I constantly wanted to get laid. Of course, I had girlfriends during that time, but no relationship ever progressed to the point of sex. And now, in my adult life, I am glad of that fact. I did have sex with a couple of girls during my first year of college, and sometimes I do regret that. I don’t know if I would change it or not though.
When I was 19 I met the woman who would become my wife. By then, I had had sex with 4 other girls (in the time frame of just a couple of months. After the first one, I thought what does it matter and I lowered my standards significantly. I was definately not exercising good judgment at that time), and she had been with one guy, one time when she was 16. That doesn’t bother me. And, I’m sure the fact that I’ve been with 4 other girls doesn’t bother her too much either. We’ve never really talked about it beyond the initial sexual conversation soon after we started dating.
Sometimes though, I do wish that neither of us had had sex before we met. I can’t say that it’s damaged our relationship in any perceivable way, but how nice it would be to know that the lovemaking that we share was unique and that no one else had ever experienced it with one of us. It could only strengthen the bond that we share.
That is what you take away from your future if you don’t wait. The knowledge that no one else has ever been a part of this special act and no one ever will.
Obviously, a lot of people feel differently about it, and that’s fine. I just think it’s a bit sad to see sex treated like any other mundane activity.
And as for the question in the OP: It definately isn’t an appropriate question to ask in initial conversations. It’s best saved for once you begin to get serious and think long-term. But I know for me, I could never get serious with a girl without knowing about her past, sexual past included. I’m sure as you get older, an exact number doe become less important, but there is nothing wrong with at least wanting to know a ballpark figure.
Justin, I apologize if I overreacted. I grew up in a family where what you believe was what was expected. My brother and his wife never so much as kissed before their wedding day. So I’m very familiar with the principle, but am used to having it described as the truth, the way to be, no exceptions.
I probably let some of that spill over into my comments to you.
The lovemaking you and your partner share is unique, no one else has experienced it but you, regardless of how many partners you may have had previously.
tdn wins the thread early on.
Marla Singer says that she hadn’t been fucked like that since grade (or maybe middle) school in the film, but in the book she tells Tyler that she wants to have his abortion.
I remember watching the deleted scenes and they said that originally, the movie was meant to say, “I want to have your abortion” but that was deemed too offensive…huh. Which reminds me. I really need to use one of those lines next time I finish getting the business from a gentleman caller. Most of my generation has already seen “Fight Club,” so if anyone can come up with a more offensive line, be my guest.
And we’ll all meet that one special person and will never get a divorce or break up with them.
Who is saying that? Just because people aren’t uber-conservative towards sex doesn’t mean they are equating it with snacking on chips while watching reruns.
If you should save something for your future, then what’s the difference between arguing that you should never fall in love with someone else first?
Hmm…for me the most unique and special thing I have shared with my spouse is raising our daughter together. The most unique and special thing I hope to share with my spouse in the future is growing old together.
The sex, while great, is a bit less significant in the grand scheme of things. It’s only one of the many ways we share our affection with each other.
Well clearly you’re not doing it right 
Cite!
Wait. I know! Tab A goes into Slot B, right?
I wish that more people thought that way.
That is exactly why I have chosen to wait.
Tab A goes into Slot A, actually.
With your username, I’m just going to take your word for it. 
Man, I thought this was going to be about phone numbers. I don’t think there is any exact time that is appropriate. Some time after the sausage is slipped I suppose.
I don’t think the question itself is rude either. In my past relationships (2 past and 1 present) I have always asked it, half out of curiosity and half because I think a person’s past is important, and sexual activity is part of that. IIRC I usually ask about prior relationships first, because, for starters, “how many people besides me have you fucked” does sound gouche. After talking about relationships, I will want to find out a number. I do believe that sex should have certain conditions attached to it, vulnerability, healing, lifegiving, I could go on and on about my views on sex… but the point is that it’s part of who my partner is as a person, so I want to know about that in order to know and love my partner deeper… and wider
No worries.
One of the women I’ve worked with said she had only had sex twice; both times with the Dallas Cowboys. I don’t know if that line was original with her but it sure made me laugh. Anyway, that might be a good answer to anyone who was rude enough to ask, especially if they ask early on.
“Faster! Harder! Deeper!”, she said.
Faster? OK, I can do that. I can pick up thr pace a bit. Harder? Sure…
Deeper?!?