I don’t understand the punchline.
For reals? Like adult real?
The other guy already had eaten the food and found the comb… and had the exact same reaction.
I am already going to hell for other reasons, so I might as well post in here…
but for the record i do not endorse any of these…
Why did the woman cross the road?
Who cares? What was she doing out of the kitchen.
How do you piss off your SO during sex?
Call them on the phone - (or these days, send them a video email)
First heard during the first Gulf War - why do Arabs wear robes?
Because camels can hear a zipper a mile away.
Turned that one around though - why do farmers where Levi’s 501 jeans?
Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away also.
If the guy saw [the comb] that was on the bottom of the plate…
What does a black man wearing a suit say?“Not guilty, Your Honor.”
Regards,
Shodan
Groan
what do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? coach
what do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? fucked
what do you call a white guy surrounded by 500 black guys? warden
Q. When is the only time you can spit in a Persian woman’s face?
A. When her mustache is on fire!
Q. What do you call a white guy surrounded by 25 Native Americans?
A. Bartender.
Why did Christ die on the cross?
He forgot His safe word.
What has 5000 legs and can’t walk?
Jerry’s kids.
A minister goes to a religion conference.
Checking into his hotel, he asks, "Is the pornography in my room disabled?’
“No, its just the regular kind, ya sick fuck”.
That’s the best one yet.
Q. What do you say if you come downstairs in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air?
A. Drop that tv, nigger.
Q. What do you call 60,000 niggers on a plane heading back to Africa?
A good start
Brilliant.
I have posted these umpteen times but still…
What’s blue and fucks old people?
Hypothermia.
What’s blue and fucks children?
Me, in my lucky blue suit!
What do you get if you stick a fork in a baby’s eye?
An erection
What’s the difference between a baby and an apple?
You don’t cum all over an apple before you eat it.
This guy is pacing, chain-smoking, downing cup after cup of black coffee, for what seems like hours in the Maternity Waiting Room. Every vein in his forehead is throbbing, his eyes are bloodshot, and he’s trembling something fierce.
A kindly middle-aged nurse enters the room and gently calls his name. He almost faints from the sound of her voice.
Guy: How’s my wife, my baby? Is everything all right? I’ve been waiting forever!
Nurse: Calm down and relax, Mr. Whoozit. You have a healthy 6 pound 7 ounce baby girl with all 20 of her digits and she’s grinning big time to be on this planet with us.
Guy: What about my wife? How’s she doing?
Nurse: Just as fine as could be. She’s holding your daughter and cooing to her now.
Guy (collapsing into the nearest chair): Oh, Thank God! I’ve been about to go crazy with all the waiting.
Nurse: April Fool! They’re both dead.
If dead baby jokes don’t do it for you, you’re totally desensitised:
Q: What’s the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A: A dead baby doesn’t harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
Q: Why do you put a baby in the blender feet first ?
A: To see the expression on its cute little face!
Q: What’s more fun than strapping a baby to a washingline and then spinning it around at 200km/h?
A: Stopping it with a shovel.
Q: What do you do when there’s no time to rape a dead baby?
A: There’s ALWAYS time to rape a dead baby.
Why did the Jews wander the desert for 40 years?
Someone dropped a quarter.
What’s the perfect woman?
She’s 3 feet tall, has no teeth, and there’s a flat spot on her head where you can set your beer.
It’s my first time hearing/reading that one but I managed to guess the answer correctly. I’m a little proud of that. 