You’re so going to Hell… I’ll save you a seat.
Q. What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a pimple?
A pimple waits until puberty before it comes on your face.
xDDDDDDDDDD
You forgot about her big ears.
OK, how do you get 50 dead babies in the trunk of a car?A blenderHow do you get them back out?Tostitos
What did Jesus say on the cross?
“What a Hell of a way to spend Easter!”
What did Jesus’ guards say to Jesus?
“Would you mind crossing your legs? I only have one nail”!
What’s the theme song for the Cerebral Palsy ward?
“Whole Lotta Shakin’ goin’ on”
“If God had intended man to fly, He wouldn’t have created Mexican air traffic control !”
Please mouse over the answers. I don’t know yet know how to do the spoiler thing.
What do get when you cross a Black with a Gypsy ?
A kid too lazy to steal.
What is the correct anatomical term for the useless unsightly flesh around the vagina?
The “woman”
What’s black and brown and looks good on a nigger?
A pack of Dobermans
Scootch up there, guys. :smack:
About Dobermans :
What’s the difference between a Dob and a poodle ?
when a Dob humps your leg, you let him finish.
Two Palestinian moms watching their kids playing in the schoolyard.
“Aw, aren’t they sweet? They blow up so quickly these days!”
Two ghetto kids sharing a joint and chatting. One asks the other, “What you gon be if you grow up?”
What do you call an Ethiopian woman with a yeast infection?
Quarter Pounder with cheese
How many niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, you fucking racist
My life is complete. Thank you.
How many Alzheimer’s sufferers does it take to change a light bulb?To get to the other side.
A kid goes up to his father and says, “Hey, Pop, know how old I am today?”
His father says, “No…how old?”
He says, “I’m eleven!”
He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, “Hey, Grandma, know how old I am today?”
She says, “Come closer…”
She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into his underwear.
She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, “You’re eleven.”
He says, “How could you tell?”
She says, “I heard you tell your father.”
What do you call a homosexual Jew?
A Heblew
What do you call a homosexual Irishman?
A Gaylick
What do you call a homosexual Chinaman?
A Twomanchew
What do you call a male homosexual dinosaur?
A Packasauras
What do you call a female homosexual dinosaur?
A Lickalottapus
What’s the difference between unloading a truck full of bowling balls and unloading a truck full of dead babies?
You can’t use a pitchfork on the bowling balls
What’s grosser than 8 dead babies in a garbage can?
One dead baby in 8 garbage cans
What’s gross?
A sculpture made entirely of boogers.
What’s grosser than that?
Eating the sculpture afterwards.
What’s gross?
Sitting on your grandfather’s lap when he has a hard on
And grosser than that?
Coming back for more
What’s disgusting?
Throwing your underwear to the wall and having it stick there.
What’s more disgusting than that?
Watching it slowly ooze down the wall leaving a brown smear behind it.
And even more disgusting?
Three days later it starts climbing back up.
What’s sick?
Waking up from a wet dream and finding out you have diarrhea
And what’s sicker than that?
Waking up from a wet dream to find your lover has diarrhea.
Did you hear about the Polish guy who drowned in his own home?
The doctor gave him a prescription for a laxative and told him to stay in bed.
Some terrible ones there, IT. By terrible, I mean “great”. 
Q. What do you call a mentally-retarded Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong
Why was Helen Keller’s leg yellow?
Her dog was blind too.
Did you hear about the meanest rapist in the world?
Raped a deaf and dumb girl then cut off her hands so she couldn’t yell for help.
Did you hear about the new Helen Keller doll?
You wind it up and it walks into walls
What was the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken
Night all!
And it’s goodnight from him, and good morning from me.
Q. What"s pink and covered in cobwebs?
Madeleine McCann"s bike.
Q. How did the Priest find the little boy in the forest?
Very nice indeed.
Q. Why did the Prophet Mohammed marry a six-year-old?
Because he was a paedophile.
Q. Where do you send Jewish kids with A.D.D.?
To concentration camps.