Go falcons!! WHOO!!!
Go crazy, folks, go crazy!!
Betty and Veronica are alike except for their hair color and their bank accounts.
Why can’t they synchronize the people playing in a band along with the soundtrack in assorted movies and TV shows? Especially with the drummer. Drives me nuts.
Oh, and flavored beer kicks ass.
I forgot to mention: In the lunchtime incident above, little
George is 4 years old. (Like his older brother Bobby, George believes his Mom to be “pretty,” which their Dad knows to be fact.) 
Ditto!
Engineers are naturally bitter, but they can be made far more palatable if you marinade them in a light vinagrette for six hours or so before preparation.
:eek:
Apotheosis, I don’t think I want to know how you know… :eek:
Music videos from the 80s were, with a (very) few notable exceptions, extraordinarily silly and did not age well at all. For every “Hungry Like the Wolf” there is a “Human Touch” and for every “Take On Me” there’s any video by The Pretenders. It’s very sad, really. What was once thought to be so cutting edge is, in retrospect, banal and insipid beyond words.
Well, it works on bill collectors…
Tiny, hourglass-shaped Louise Brown went to shower after working in the yard planting roses. Her husband Stan was home, because it was still a few days before he would take his 18-wheeler for his next cross-country run. Their three sons were all in school.
Louise undressed in the bedroom; Stan decided to be mischievous and sit on the bed watching her, and irritating her with wolf-whistles as she shed each garment. She donned her glasses, robe and bathroom slippers, and went into the bathroom.
She went into the shower clad only in her shower cap. When she came out she dried off, redonned the slippers, robe and glasses, and hung the cap on its hook. In the bedroom she doffed the slippers and robe; wearing only the glasses now, she picked out panties and jeans, and her house slippers; she picked a cardigan sweater and put it on, intending to button it on the way out of the bedroom.
But as she stepped through the door she looked down, to see her bare breasts! She thought, “Oh god, I forgot my bra. Stan will have a fit.” In fact he came face-to face with her (actually he was at least a foot taller) in the hallway.
He reminded her that they were going to Joe and Jane Bradley’s for dinner than evening; and the following evening they would attend the fall sports-award banquet for Arthur, their eldest son.
Just before he went his way, Stan said, “One more thing, Louise…
I can see your boobs!” in a teasing, childish singsong. He then walked off snickering merrily.
Louise thought, “Chew me out indeed! He’s a marshmallow.”
I am responding to this thread instead of sitting in my hot tub. Then again, I thought Mother Theresa’s one more needed miracle was going to be to turn the raspberries in my fridge into strawberry daiquiris for sipping whilst sitting in the hot tub, so I guess it’s all for the best I ain’t sitting in the hot tub. But, I could be sitting in the hot tub drinking a beer which is about as good as a strawberry daiquiri since the beer has alcohol too, so I think I will. Sit in the hot tub and drink beer that is.
My oldest cat (the matriarch, old female Siamese) is currently staring small burning holes into the side of my head. I believe she desires some cheese.
I would hazard to suggest that she’s conflicted on the whole cats eat mice/mice eat cheese thing, except she’s eaten both at different times in her life.
Apparently, she sometimes feels the need to eliminate the middle-man, as it were. So I’ll give her some cheese. Besides, she’s old, and her teeth are getting bad, and I feel like indulging her.
From Bob Elliot & Ray Goulding:
It takes a heap of homing
To make a pigeon toed."
Why is this in the Pit?
Muhammad Ali was on a plane; the captain gave the order for passengers to fasten seat belts. The stweardess came back and saw that the fighter hadn’t fastened his. She told him he’d have to.
MA retorted, “Superman don’t need no seatbelt!”
She shot back, “Superman don’t need no airplane.” 
Numbers 1
1 And the LORD spake unto Moses in the wilderness of Sinai, in the tabernacle of the congregation, on the first day of the second month, in the second year after they were come out of the land of Egypt, saying,
2 Take ye the sum of all the congregation of the children of Israel, after their families, by the house of their fathers, with the number of their names, every male by their polls;
3 From twenty years old and upward, all that are able to go forth to war in Israel: thou and Aaron shall number them by their armies.
4 And with you there shall be a man of every tribe; every one head of the house of his fathers.
5 And these are the names of the men that shall stand with you: of the tribe of Reuben; Elizur the son of Shedeur.
6 Of Simeon; Shelumiel the son of Zurishaddai.
7 Of Judah; Nahshon the son of Amminadab.
8 Of Issachar; Nethaneel the son of Zuar.
9 Of Zebulun; Eliab the son of Helon.
10 Of the children of Joseph: of Ephraim; Elishama the son of Ammihud: of Manasseh; Gamaliel the son of Pedahzur.
11 Of Benjamin; Abidan the son of Gideoni.
12 Of Dan; Ahiezer the son of Ammishaddai.
13 Of Asher; Pagiel the son of Ocran.
14 Of Gad; Eliasaph the son of Deuel.
15 Of Naphtali; Ahira the son of Enan.
16 These were the renowned of the congregation, princes of the tribes of their fathers, heads of thousands in Israel.
17 And Moses and Aaron took these men which are expressed by their names:
18 And they assembled all the congregation together on the first day of the second month, and they declared their pedigrees after their families, by the house of their fathers, according to the number of the names, from twenty years old and upward, by their polls.
19 As the LORD commanded Moses, so he numbered them in the wilderness of Sinai.
20 And the children of Reuben, Israel’s eldest son, by their generations, after their families, by the house of their fathers, according to the number of the names, by their polls, every male from twenty years old and upward, all that were able to go forth to war;
21 Those that were numbered of them, even of the tribe of Reuben, were forty and six thousand and five hundred.
22 Of the children of Simeon, by their generations, after their families, by the house of their fathers, those that were numbered of them, according to the number of the names, by their polls, every male from twenty years old and upward, all that were able to go forth to war;
23 Those that were numbered of them, even of the tribe of Simeon, were fifty and nine thousand and three hundred.
24 Of the children of Gad, by their generations, after their families, by the house of their fathers, according to the number of the names, from twenty years old and upward, all that were able to go forth to war;
25 Those that were numbered of them, even of the tribe of Gad, were forty and five thousand six hundred and fifty.
26 Of the children of Judah, by their generations, after their families, by the house of their fathers, according to the number of the names, from twenty years old and upward, all that were able to go forth to war;
27 Those that were numbered of them, even of the tribe of Judah, were threescore and fourteen thousand and six hundred.
28 Of the children of Issachar, by their generations, after their families, by the house of their fathers, according to the number of the names, from twenty years old and upward, all that were able to go forth to war;
29 Those that were numbered of them, even of the tribe of Issachar, were fifty and four thousand and four hundred.
30 Of the children of Zebulun, by their generations, after their families, by the house of their fathers, according to the number of the names, from twenty years old and upward, all that were able to go forth to war;
31 Those that were numbered of them, even of the tribe of Zebulun, were fifty and seven thousand and four hundred.
32 Of the children of Joseph, namely, of the children of Ephraim, by their generations, after their families, by the house of their fathers, according to the number of the names, from twenty years old and upward, all that were able to go forth to war;
33 Those that were numbered of them, even of the tribe of Ephraim, were forty thousand and five hundred.
34 Of the children of Manasseh, by their generations, after their families, by the house of their fathers, according to the number of the names, from twenty years old and upward, all that were able to go forth to war;
35 Those that were numbered of them, even of the tribe of Manasseh, were thirty and two thousand and two hundred.
36 Of the children of Benjamin, by their generations, after their families, by the house of their fathers, according to the number of the names, from twenty years old and upward, all that were able to go forth to war;
37 Those that were numbered of them, even of the tribe of Benjamin, were thirty and five thousand and four hundred.
38 Of the children of Dan, by their generations, after their families, by the house of their fathers, according to the number of the names, from twenty years old and upward, all that were able to go forth to war;
39 Those that were numbered of them, even of the tribe of Dan, were threescore and two thousand and seven hundred.
40 Of the children of Asher, by their generations, after their families, by the house of their fathers, according to the number of the names, from twenty years old and upward, all that were able to go forth to war;
41 Those that were numbered of them, even of the tribe of Asher, were forty and one thousand and five hundred.
42 Of the children of Naphtali, throughout their generations, after their families, by the house of their fathers, according to the number of the names, from twenty years old and upward, all that were able to go forth to war;
43 Those that were numbered of them, even of the tribe of Naphtali, were fifty and three thousand and four hundred.
44 These are those that were numbered, which Moses and Aaron numbered, and the princes of Israel, being twelve men: each one was for the house of his fathers.
45 So were all those that were numbered of the children of Israel, by the house of their fathers, from twenty years old and upward, all that were able to go forth to war in Israel;
46 Even all they that were numbered were six hundred thousand and three thousand and five hundred and fifty.
47 But the Levites after the tribe of their fathers were not numbered among them.
48 For the LORD had spoken unto Moses, saying,
49 Only thou shalt not number the tribe of Levi, neither take the sum of them among the children of Israel:
50 But thou shalt appoint the Levites over the tabernacle of testimony, and over all the vessels thereof, and over all things that belong to it: they shall bear the tabernacle, and all the vessels thereof; and they shall minister unto it, and shall encamp round about the tabernacle.
51 And when the tabernacle setteth forward, the Levites shall take it down: and when the tabernacle is to be pitched, the Levites shall set it up: and the stranger that cometh nigh shall be put to death.
52 And the children of Israel shall pitch their tents, every man by his own camp, and every man by his own standard, throughout their hosts.
53 But the Levites shall pitch round about the tabernacle of testimony, that there be no wrath upon the congregation of the children of Israel: and the Levites shall keep the charge of the tabernacle of testimony.
54 And the children of Israel did according to all that the LORD commanded Moses, so did they.
Chaddy the Owl is my football club’s official mascot. He won the UK mascot Grand National (gimmicky race for sports club mascots) at the weekend.
“Whether you’re rich or poor…it’s nice to have money!”
–Dave Berg, 1958