The one trait/habit not acceptable in a potential SO

In My Humble Opinion
21

You know, I have quite a few traits people have put in their “must never” column. I just stopped smoking cigarettes (a big NO) a couple of months ago. When the kids (another NO) are asleep, I cuss like a sailor (another NO). I have been known to use drugs (a NO). I am depressed which = high maintenence (another NO). I’m a housewife (a NO). But this isn’t about that…I just find it giggle-worthy.

I don’t like liars or blatant hypocrites.
I don’t like when people are addicted to things that change their personalities (alcohol or crack or gambling, for instance).
No -ists. Though I think everyone needs to work on that, to an extent. There are an awful lot of -ist it’s possible to be, and I’m sure I still have a few to work out of my system as well.

I also dislike braggarts but am strangely drawn to some of them.

Oh, and if you have “The Mark of the Cock” then you’re out anyhow…but chances are, if you do, you weren’t looking at me anyhow. :smiley:

22

Well, shit, that was way more than one.

Habit: the “addicted to personality-altering substances” one.
Trait: the “liars/hypocrites” one.

The rest…well, many are cancelled out by those, anyhow.

23

Self-delusional traits are a big no-no. Just a couple examples:

  • Non-smoker who thinks his breath smells like the first rose in June just because he doesn’t smoke.

-Younger males who believe that any older female would be thrilled, honoured and lucky beyond belief to have their attentions…

24

I would never trust someone who told me they didn’t like animals.

25

Habit - smoking
Trait - Lazy

This thread reminds me of a date I almost didn’t avoid.

I met a guy online and we chatted quite a bit for a few weeks. He seemed nice and funny. He gave me his phone number and I called him a few times and we begain to talk about going out on a date. To this point he seemed perfectly normal.

First he said that I would have to pick him up because he had “lost” his car. (I didn’t ask him how/where he lost it. )

Then the said that we would have to have an afternoon date because one of the conditions of his parol was that he couldn’t be out after dark. (ack! I don’t know what he did. I didn’t ask. I was busy trying to figure out how to back out. )

Finally he wanted to make sure that it would be okay if I paid because he had just lost his job.

Luckly, he seemed to understand when I told him that I didn’t think it was going to work out and I wasn’t going to be calling him again.

26

Hhmm, i’ll stick to “qualities that might not condemn a person to terrible personhood forever and ever but that I personally can’t stand.”

I would have to say passive aggressive crap. It drives me mad when a guy minces around implying all sorts of things and then when called out, gives an innocent wide-eyed stare and says “But I never said…” Please.

Oooh, and I just thought of the biggest one I have- A guy who refuses to stop playing videogames while on the phone with me. I don’t care how much he thinks it “doesn’t distract him” IT DOES. I know this because there will be very long pauses and then he won’t know what we’ve been talking about…If he’s not interested in the conversation, get off the phone, change the subject, I won’t be offended, but it is VERY rude to call someone up just to ignore them. (Yeah, it sounds like I’m dating 15- year olds here, but no ladies and gentlemen, the men in question who I am not so subtly criticizing, are closer to 25.)

27

People who are habitually late drive me nuts. I once broke up with an otherwise nice young man because he could not be on time.
Hypochondriacs and whiners also get the gong.

28

You know, that all sounds so over the top it makes me wonder if he didn’t say all those things as a means of getting you to blow him off because he didn’t want to go on the date, for whatever reason.

29

Liars. If at the beginning of the relationship they tell me they will abide by my list of non-negotiables and then renege on that, that would cover all of the faults I would end up ending the relationship for.

30

I wondered the same thing. But, the date had been his idea and he had talked me into it. I wasn’t too keen on dating anyone at that time and didn’t really feel comfortable meeting someone off the internet.

If he was trying to force me to blow him off I wonder what he would have come up with had I still agreed? :slight_smile:

31

My two definite deal-breakers:

A consistently negative attitude. There are some people who never have a fabulous day. Nothing is ever good enough; no one is ever smart enough. These people are not fun. You don’t have to be a Pollyanna, but if you don’t have a generally positive outlook, you’re not going too far with me.

Dislike of children. I like kids. I think they’re fun and interesting little critters, and I’d like a couple of my own someday. And in my experience, folks who like kids tend to be more laidback and patient than people who don’t.

32

Unacceptable habit: continually waving that restraining order in my face.

33

I would have a hard time with anyone who’s cruel to children. I don’t mean you have to like them, it’s perfectly fine if you don’t. Just don’t have a kid if you aren’t going to take care of it.

34

I find it hard to believe how many people find smoking to be such a turnoff! I don’t like it either but I figured we’d be more split on that issue…

The best way to answer this is with the examples of 2 girls I have dated. When I talk about a person being High Maintenance I mean that they do things that force others to have to give them special treatment. Keeping with my restaurant theme (it’s amazing how much I glean about a person when I eat with them) I used to date a girl that would always order her food without mushrooms. By my definition this could be considered High Maintenance because the staff had to do something different but it isn’t excessive because she wasn’t really being difficult. So no problems there… The second girl however would * never * accept food she ordered as the restaurant prepared it. She always demanded some special preparation. And naturally when the food was brought to her it was * never * to her satisfaction. It wasn’t just food either. Everyplace we went she always had to stand out in some way which ended up driving me nuts!

35

Thinks I don’t like:

People who are stupid/bubbleheaded/etc. Okay, I want to have a conversation every once in a while about something of substance, not just (insert stererotypical idiotic topic here).

People who have no sense of humor, at all.

People who don’t want to try anything different, are very narrow, etc. I mean, if you don’t like something, I understand. I’m thinking more of the kind of people who think all Black and White movies are stupid because they don’t have color,or who think reading is stupid because there are no pictures, etc.

People who have no opinions/views of their own. I once knew a girl who I’d ask her questions and her answer would almost always be “What do think/like?” Got really old really quick.

People who are are too close to the edges of the political spectrum.

People who are militant about something (Militant Atheist, Theist, Vegan, etc.). I’ve found that being around people who constantly have a need to tell you that you are wrong about something increase the chance of an “accidental” homicide occuring.

People I can’t trust. (Covers a lot of terrority. IE, sleeping around, stealing, etc.) If I can’t trust you, why should I have sex with or marry you? I shouldn’t have to worry about being robbed or murdered or cheated on.

Of course, the not-needed to mention: People who commit crimes(major stuff, not speeding tickets), people who like to hurt people or animals (setting puppies on fire is not a good sign), People with drug issues, etc.

Probably the only special catagory: I like to shoot. Someone doesn’t like guns, fine. However, if said person cannot stand having them in the same house, thinks they are evil,etc, well, it’s not gonna work.

Does that make me too picky?

36

Chicks who don’t keep their place clean, chicks who are waaaay too into their pets. (Especialy small ones!) Chicks who don’t do oral or keep their garden trimed.

FTR I do like animals I just don’t obsess about them.

37

Here’s another…

Guys who call women “chicks”.
:wink:

38

The greatest turnoff in a potential SO? Smoking.

Tobacco smoking is right out. Oddly, I am less against marijuana smoking, because I can see that there might be some medical uses for it, although I still strongly dislike it.

Stupidity, deliberate cruelty, and bigotry are definite turnoffs as well.

39

Well I either call them chicks babes or honeys :smiley:

40

Oh geez. Where to start? Guys who I would date will not be:

full time smokers (social’s OK by me, just not in my house)

drinking and driving

big spenders who live beyond their means

absolute slobs - some clutter is fine, a dish in the sink for 24 hours won’t bother me, but if I can’t see the floor of his apartment, or there is stuff growing in the bathroom, or he doesn’t leave my place as he found it, he’s history

allergic to cats

rude to customer service people, with the exception of telemarketers :slight_smile: