Kaio, I was on the other side of that equation a few years ago.
I had contacted a guy on OKC, he replied back and explained that he had recently started dating someone, wasn’t sure where it was all going, and if I was still available in the future, would it be okay for him to contact me?
I respected him for being upfront, and told him sure -if I’m available when you are - let’s check things out. A few months later, that’s exactly what happened. We were both single, dated a few times, and then I broke it off for other reasons.
But I always appreciated his being upfront about it.
I was too mortified! I’d thought about it, but sometimes you can only insult the firing squad so much before someone just hauls off and shoots your ass
Well I’ve actually met with some success. I’ve been emailing and texting some girls, but nothing serious as of yet. Well I would hope not since it’s only been a few days I think part of why I wasn’t getting many replies is because I was adding too much into my replies. I got the feeling I was inducing eye-glaze, so instead of including a bunch of background information about me I just replied to what I liked about their profile/ad.
Just a couple more weeks until I get to DC, and can actually meet some of the OKC guys I’ve been corresponding with.
I’m super-excited to start dating. After two years of basically no sexual attention and a tiny dating pool, I’m back in a place that digs girls like me and I’m already getting attention on the street. It’s a good feeling, and I think I’ll get my groove back pretty quickly. My confidence took a big old nose dive, but it’s already recovering and I think I’ve got a lot to look forward to!
Awww. IMO, just drop her a quick line, 'cause right now, *she’s *probably freaking out trying to figure out why *you *thought she was looking for paying customers. You never have to talk to her again, and you probably wouldn’t recognize each other if you passed on the street, so there’s no need for embarassment to factor in.
I’m surprised this thread vanished for a couple days.
Anyway, a question. I just ran across this live Rifftrax event and I thought it’d be awesome to try to find a date for it. Being able to offer up a show like this seems like a good way to get a first date; it looks to be more fun than the usual movie night and it’s a very clear example of what I find interesting and fun.
The problem is that sites like OKC seem to be more…long-term and slower-paced. You’re picking from semi-static personal ads with the intention of working up though indirect contact to a first meeting. Where (other than this board) would be a good place to stand up and say “Hey, anyone wanna go with me to this in a couple weeks?”
I’ve actually tried this once before, when I was planning on an Alice Cooper concert. I even bought the tickets well in advance and put my plans in my OKC profile. Still not a single bite.
First, may I congratulate you on your good taste in entertainment. I’m already planning to be there (at my own local theater, not yours, of course).
I’d just go ahead and get 2 tix, then work through the process with whoever you’re hooked up with (at whatever stage). If you get to 1st Date Imminent status with anyone, you just say “hey, I’ve got 2 tix to Rifftrax…wanna go?”
And if it doesn’t happen, go anyway and give one to a friend.
Well, that’s kind of the problem I’m asking about. There’s zero potential options right now, and finding someone through the usual channels in two weeks seems…improbable.
Nil desperandum. I was matched (eH) with my sweetie on June 5; on June 8 we were discussing 1st meeting possibilities, and she mentioned she had 2 concert tickets for June 10. Fireworks, music, little cartoon hearts popping up over our heads, and we’ve been inseparable ever since.
Bosstone - I know it’s not technically a dating site - but have you thought about checking to see if any of your local Meetup.com groups are going?
I know that the Geeks (my group here in Charlotte) are going and we always have a good group of singles that attend. Then you can always post post-event greetings on the profiles of the girls you enjoyed meeting. . . .
Alrighty, another ‘what should I do’ question.
The quick details.
I emailed her
She replied
I wrote back
Nothing…
My last email to her was 4 days ago. She’s been online plenty since then, I’ve looked at her profile since then (which means I showed up on her home page). Do I assume that for whatever reason she’s done? Or do I say to myself “what the hell” and send her another one?
BTW, she replied to an email that started out with “I fart in your general direction” and ended with “Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time.” And her PS was “Taunt away.” (She had a Holy Grail quote in her profile)
Of course, this was on OKC and I found her match profile and in it she said she’s looking for someone who’s never married and doesn’t have kids. I suppose it’s possible she was just replying because she liked my profile and/or email and that’s all their was to it.
Half of the messages I send get responses. Half of my subsequent responses get further responses. And further and further it goes until eventually I’m left with girls that I talk regularly with. There’s a remote possibility that for whatever reason she didn’t get your message (maybe it never showed up as new and so she never checked it), but that’s really unlikely. There’s no harm in sending another message, I mean, you’ve got nothing to lose. But as far as I’m concerned you’re guaranteed to get no response again.
I’d say, if you’re really interested, send her another email, in reply to the last one she sent you (so that her last email to you is visible at the bottom). I find that sometimes I lose track of people, especially if I’m communicating with multiple men at the same time but have not met them yet. Sometimes the email gets “lost” and gets shifted down in my inbox so it’s not in front of my face anymore, and I forget.
If you send her a quick “hey, I enjoyed talking to you, are you still around?” or perhaps send it back with another HG reference (“Is there anyone else we can talk to?”), she might remember you and write back, then you can pick it up again. On the other hand, she may have met someone she’s interested in, or just not be interested in you; and in that case, you won’t hear anything back from her, and you’ll have your answer. At this point, you really have nothing to lose. Good luck!
I’ve completely stopped sending messages to people. I’m getting about two messages a week. Half of them I’m not interested in and the other half don’t respond when I message them back.
For some reason I’ve gotten a ton of message recently. Most of them say they find my profile really funny (in a good way). It’s odd, it’s not meant to be funny, the only thing in it that I can find that could be funny is that I mention not to bother writting me if you’re a nail biter (grosses me out, some people can’t date smokers, I couldn’t date a nail biter).
Anyways, I sick of getting emails from people I have no interest in so I re-emailed the person I mentioned a few posts ago (haven’t heard back), emailed another girl that caught my eye, replied to an email from someone who’s eye I caught, and I think I’m gonna shoot off one more to a new (to the site) person tonight (I chose ‘yes’ on my Daily 5 to her, I’m waiting to see if she responds to that tonight, otherwise I’ll send her an email before I go to bed, maybe). Three emails out to new people in one day, should make for an interesting Monday.
So in the interest of keeping this thread alive, I’ll post a follow up. I did send her a “are you still there” type message that went unanswerd. Since then someone else sent me an email and we’ve sent a handful of messages back and forth with each other. It’s a bit slow going on her side though. No matter how soon I reply to her message, I never get a reply until the next night (even though I can see she’s still online) and it wasn’t until the third message I received from her that she signed it with her name instead of just an initial. I’m enjoying talking to her, and was planning to use my next message to start hinting around that we should meet soon…Normally I would have no problem just suggesting it, but like I said, she seems to be talking things very cautiously. I’m sure part of that is that she’s very new to this. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that I’m the first person she emailed after she signed up.
And all of a sudden the other girl emailed me again. I haven’t signed on to see the full message yet, but the little blurb I got in the email was her asking for my phone number.
So I went from a bunch of dead ends to two promising leads…what to do?
ETA, now that I think about it. I know I won’t hear back from the new girl until later tonight. Maybe I’ll send her an email now (so she’ll have two in a row from me) telling her that I don’t have my kid for the next to days and see if she’s up for meeting somewhere and see how she reacts. My thought is that if she’s ready to meet I’ll just continue on with this one and leave the old one alone. If she’s not quite ready to make that jump I’ll keep talking to her and give the older one my phone number and …I don’t know…
So…do I just keep moving forward with both girls or do I do this one at a time?
Keep moving forward! It’s what the one was doing, why shouldn’t you? Besides, you’ll know after a few dates which you want to keep seeing, right? It should come naturally which you prefer spending time with. While dating more than one person at a time may feel strange to you, you have nothing to be ashamed about or to hide.
If one asks you (I doubt they would) simply say you’re open to seeing anyone else.
I’m going through a dry spell now. I’ve gone from having 3 women pursuing me on-line (and one doing the pursuit IRL–she won out, I dumped the other 3, she dated me for two weeks and dumped me, and now I’m back in the pool again, striking out or at least watching pitches go by.)
For some strange reason, I’m drawn to women whom I know (IRL, usually for years or decades) and wind up dating them, while the Online women, however attractive and exciting they may seem at first, end up dropping out of the picture, usually on no notice at all. Probably has to do with the time invested? Anyway, as someone said, it’s a good thing I don’t live in a tall building or use a straight razor. Oh, wait, I DO live in a tall building and use a straight razor…
To update my update. I told new girl what days I was free* and asked if she wanted to meet and I gave first girl my number. We’ll see how it plays out.
*First girl is the one that was taking it kind of slow, but in her last email she asked what days I see my daughter or something along those lines. IMHO, that’s her way of sending out the feelers to see when we can meet. I figured I’d just use that as as springboard to ask her out.
