Definitely a keeper. I am having difficulty in understanding what my dog is saying. His accent is awful …
She’s perfect in every way, but one. She can only sleep hanging by her claws from the ceiling.
Keep him. More room in the bed for me, and he can swat the flies in the summer up there.
Perfect in every way, but illiterate. Not dyslexic, not learning disabled, just cannot and does not and will not read and write. Illiterate.
He was fine until we got to “will not”. I don’t mind teaching someone, or being the eyes for soemone who can’t. But if he’s just not interested in learning to read then it’s a dump.
Perfect in every way but he will only wear a certain type/brand of shoes, and they squeak in a wheezy annoying way when he walks. He is completely unwilling to consider any other shoe.
She can stay.
Perfect in every way but she is an intolerant, militant foodie the polar opposite from you. If you’re vegan, she’s a hard-core, unrepentant meat eater. If you eat meat, she is ferociously evangelical about vegan. (Etc.) She is known to ruthlessly mock people in public for different eating preferences from hers.
Tough one- I’d keep up until the ‘ruthlessly mock’ part, then I’d have to say dump her (more about how she deals with it than her food choices).
Perfect in every way except she’ll dump you if you continue to read / post on the SDMB.
I didn’t mean necessarily to imply that his/her inability to read was something that the person was unwilling to change, just that it was a permanent condition, like many of the other flaws in this game. If “Perfect in every way, but she is seriously addicted to listening to Rush Limbaugh, daily” as Knorf proposed, is something the prospective mate was willing to stop doing, there would be no game here.
ETA: And I would dump him too.
Time to dump…Cecil. The Dope’s great and all, but not that great.
She’s perfect in every way, but her voice makes Fran Drescher’s Nanny voice sound soothing.
Hmmmnn. If it’s not a willful thing, but a true inability, then I probably would keep. That’s the toughest one I’ve seen yet though.
Dump. Sorry, just too audially inclined, and ‘perfect’ would include a lot of conversations.
Perfect in every way except (s)he knowingly and purposefully embezzled from a charity you hold dear.
Hmm. Dump. And maybe report.
Perfect in every way, but was married to your best friend.
(Currently my best friend is my wife, but I don’t think that’s what you’re asking…)
Keep her, dump the friend. 
Perfect in every way, but MUST know your whereabouts at all times.
Dump so fast his head would spin. Not only not possible in my line of work, but not safe, either. Watch SouthLAnd. Hehehe.
Perfect in every way, but occasionally speaks in tongues, goes into “trances”, and channels the dead.
That’s an easy one, I’ve already done that one and got a souvenir t-shirt from ancient Greece. She’s gone, gone, gone.
(The ex-wife was a member of a semi-cult and believed in rebirth. We were at a beach in Japan, and she started telling me about her past life. No tongues or other babbling, but the channeling the dead is enough for me.)
Perfect in every way, but peppers her conversation with “you know” every single sentence.
“You know” is all right. I can handle “you know.” Keep. But if he starts saying “You know what?” before coming to the point in every conversation, I might have to eviscerate him, then dump him.
I’m finding a flaw/trick in the game, that things which would normally be intolerable red flags (i.e. has to know where I am every minute) are hard to judge because if he’s otherwise perfect, then it can’t mean he’s a jealous potential-axe-murderer or an insecure clingleberry. Right?
Perfect in every way except that he has a very limited vocabulary. We’ll say 1500 words. This will not improve.
It depends on the words, but I might be able to live with it.
Perfect in every way, except she lives entirely on a diet of live mice. She’s happy to eat in another room and always brushes her teeth before kissing you.
Keep her. And get rid of the cat.
Perfect in every way, except she NEVER lets you make a decision. Not clothes, food, job. Nada. But, she NEVER emasculates you in front of others, the decisions are always made ahead of time or in a way that leaves you with your dignity.
Dump. I’m the man in the relationship.
Perfect in every way abut only speaks in quoted Lady Gaga lyrics.
Dump! I’m the card player! 
Perfect but-she’s always going “Sharon Stone”/he has plumber butt.
Is this a joke? Keep keep keep.
Perfect in every way, but insists that her nagging harpie mother lives with the two of you.
Dump. No mean people allowed in my home.
Perfect in every way except that he really likes to play on his pogo stick, and does so in the front drive for at least 45 minutes every day, rain or shine. SShhhhooompa, shoompa, shoompa. . .