The President Erdogan Dirty Limerick Contest.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Okay, so the backstory for this is all eloquently explained here, but the gist is that a German comedian read out an insulting poem about Turkish President Recep Erdogan. Since Recep Erdogan, aside from being President of Turkey, is also a world-class dictatorial asshole, he has insisted the comedian be prosecuted under an obscure German law which forbids insulting foreign heads of state.

In response to this, UK journalist Douglas Murray decided to run a “President Erdogan Dirty Limerick” competition (which, delightfully, was won by outgoing mayor of London Boris Johnson) and I thought the Dope’s resident wordsmiths might have fun with it too.

There are only two rules:

  1. The limericks must be as filthy, obscene, and defamatory as possible.
  2. The limericks must be as filthy, obscene, and defamatory as possible.

I know that, technically, this is only one rule, but I thought it was such an important one it was worth mentioning twice.

Murray’s entry, just to set the tone, is:

Recep Erdogan is the Turk’ll
Never tire of rim-jobs from his circle
Yet his chief-est delight
(Now Khilafa’s in sight)
Are the felchings he gets from Frau Merkel

And here’s my humble offering:

There once was a ruler from Turkey,
Whose pecker was not very perky,
To this poor flaccid stump,
He appended a pump,
And now it’s as tough as beef jerky

Post your entries here. If I get enough, I might even do a poll to pick the best one. If it gets that far (and I’ll be looking for at least 10-15 entries to make it worthwhile), I will also, as an added inducement, make a $50.00 donation to the winner’s charity of choice :slight_smile:

2

A Turk prez whose asshole has lices,
Started a political crisis.
He shined up his dick
for the Kurds to go lick
by funding the terrorists ISIS.

3

There once was a Turk dude named Erdogan
Whose ego, so fragile, was shat upon.
His cock, never limp
Developed a gimp
So he ordered some lawyers to “Bring it on!”

4

The first time Recep won the votes
“Erdogan” was a brand of men’s coats
But now it appears
After thirteen short years
It calls to mind one who fucks goats

5

Pres and Turk Recep Erdogan
%&@~ and &&#^@^ for a @^&*% Then he @^& and he !&&%
and %@&* all day Until @&*% !^&&$$ to @%&@

6

Though tof anothre one

The Turk prez once wanted a Bucking
-ham palace for him to get stuck in
He built the toodoo
on top of a zoo
but kept all the goats he was fucking

7

Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
I hear a post there has newly arisen.
It’s attached to Recep,
Who behind you will step
For occasions of soap-dropping frisson.

Once I was watching TV and the subtitles read: “…the Turkish Prime Minister, Mr Ed”.

8

I must say, I’m very impressed with the entries so far. The bar’s been set pretty high! If I get another 5-10 I’ll run a poll.

9

Prez Erdogan from Istanbul
To goats and rams was quite cruel
He’d train and expect them
to bugger his rectum
at the same time he’d fellate a mule!

10

When mocked, Erdogan objects
Demanding some German respect
But the world will not salaam
To this shitheaded imam
A case of the Streisand effect?

11

Ugly cur who had a thin hide,
If insulted, Ergodan cried.
They dumped Armenians like turds,
And now it’s the Kurds
That he wants to commit genocide.

12

Insulted, Herr Erdogan’s clucking,
“You must show respect, and no mucking!”
Free speech he disdains,
high dudgeon he feigns;
his ass, with his head, he is fucking.

13

Keep 'em coming, guys! We’re almost there. A couple more and I’ll start the poll thread.

14

There once was a prez who was bitter
and butthurt because of the Twitter.
He said with a frown,
“Shut it all down
and bring back MySpace from the shitter.”

15

I saw smegma for the first time today
as the president of Turkey did lay
With his ass in the air
open from here to there
While licking the drops away.

16

There once was a president Turk
whom jokes and lewd insults did irk
he went to the courts
and, by all reports,
soon proved that he was quite a firk.

17

There once was a president Turkishman
Who signed his posts: “Kind regards, Erdogan”
On a message board
He shared his innermost thoughts
Quoth Recep : “Yes, sex with sheep *is *fun!”

And goats. But, I mean, there’s nothing wrong with that… um, right?

18

One more:

There was a Turk president who
Wanted to do as the animals do
He eschewed Amsterdam
And Hamburg’s Reeperbahn
But found romance at the Berlin Zoo

19

One last one from me, and I’m done, I promise (damn, this is addictive):

My first poem about Erdogan
was called “Turkish goat-felching, part one”
But Recep was bemused
He said: “No, you’re confused,”
“that’s this DVD here, that I own.”

20

The Turks’ best at bestiality was Erdogan
Who challenged Merkel at the dirty game
The Chancellor retired
Saying “My cunt is on fire!”
But the Turk said let’s do the whole herd again