A closed mouth gathers no feet.
some peoples children…
It’s all fun & games 'til someone loses an eye…& then it’s a treasure hunt!
Inside me, there’s a thin woman crying to get out…
But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.
From Mad magazine many moons ago:
The meek shall inherit the dearth.
From HBO’s Tales from the Crypt:
Women, can’t live with them, can’t fit more than one in a trunk with a spare tire.
You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to swim on his back, you’ve got something
Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day.
Play a man a Phish CD, and he’ll toke up and get the munchies for the rest of his life.
“I’ve got things to see and people to do…”
Men – you can’t live with them; you can’t sell them for the parts.
different version:
“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. . . and up under his rib cage.”
“That’s water over the dam.”
Is that you, George Romero? Boy, we better keep a close watch on Reagan.
[sub]If I wanted to hear an asshole, I’d fart.[/sub]
People who live in glass houses, shouldn’t.
Some years ago I came up with “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs at you.”
If at first you don’t succeed…try reading the instructions.
It’s all fun and games until someone looses and eye…then it’s a sport!
I’ll say this until it sticks.
The engineer sees that the glass was designed with a 100% safety factor.
(Major rule of engineering: estimate the forces, calculate the design needed to match them, then ADD A SAFETY FACTOR!)
It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye… then it’s ping-pong!
People that live in glass houses should get dressed in the basement.
God loves you… everyone else thinks you’re an a**hole!
I always thought it was:
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
Ah well to each their own.
This is actually a great game to play with young school-age children (like ages 5-8):
Give them a list of cliches with the key words blanked out and tell them to fill in the blanks. You get some pretty great stuff, like this gem from my first born when she was 7 1/2:
Out of sight you are blind
Frank Muir or Dennis Norden said
If at first you don’t suck seed, try drier grain.
“I have had it with these motherfing zombies in this motherfing thread!”