The 'REAL" US Citizen test

Ok, when someone from a foreign country moves to America and wants to become a citizen they have to pass a test. They test concerns US history and the general structure of our government.

Many natural born citizens might have difficulty passing this test.
Some might think that this means that the US education system has problems but I think it means that the test is wrong.
Remember those WWII movies where they would ask a suspected NAZI spy "Who won the world series in '42? Did they ever ask the suspected spy 'Who was the 23rd president? or "Explain Checks and Balances as it refers to the branches of the Federal Government?. No they didn’t.

So let’s come up with questions that every American knows and if you want to be ONE OF US, you need to know this stuff.

Please feel free to add questions or suggest modifications any previously given questions.
Fill in the blanks

  1. Batman is to Bruce Wayne as Spiderman is to ________

  2. According to Yoda, you must _______ what you have learned.
    Essay Question

Who is the greatest Captain of the Enterprise and why?*

Multiple choice

  1. Which of these forms of Kryptonite will weaken Superman? (consider all versions to be pre-crisis continuity)

a. Green
b. Red
c. Blue
d. Gold
e. White
f. Orange
g. Silver
h. anti-kryptonite
Skills test

  1. Whistle the theme song to the Andy Griffith Show.

*(technically only Kirk is correct but if you can put up an argument for one of the other captains, well that’s ok)

What was the best finale in television history?!

Who is Cecil Adams?
Should he be in charge of everything? Yes Definitely

Complete the following sentences:

No, kid, you can’t have a _______. You’ll put __________.

You probably want to steer clear of TV and movies, since they’re exported globally.

Mundane stuff that doesn’t make it into the media would be more likely to eliminate us foreigners: stuff about how hall monitors at school are selected, or what numbers to dial the operator and shit like that.
ETA:

BB gun. Your eye out.

What does a yellow light mean?

Apropos … even if a trick question …
How many many players in football are allowed to touch the ball with their hands?

“Hurry up.”

Heh. I picked that movie because from my experience, everyone in the US has seen it so many times they can practically recite it from memory, whereas I’ve run into more than a few people from elsewhere who had no idea what it even was.

100 miles is:
A) a long distance
B) a boring drive
C) my daily commute
D) 1/5 of a NASCAR race
E) longer than I would ever conceive of driving

100 years is
A) a long time
B) how long I though it’d take for my FFL license to get approved
C) really quite modern history

I am 56 years old, was born and educated in the US and have lived here all of my life. I have no idea what the answers are to the first two questions in the OP, and I can name Kirk and Piccard but couldn’t muster an argument for or against either. I think that the questions in the OP have a rather narrow, nerdy focus that the majority of adult citizens are not part of.

Q1) List the three principle ingredients in a S’More.

i)
ii)
iii)

Bonus question - in no more than 20 words describe how you would preare and cook it.

Q2) Using the mannequin provided demonstrate the following activities:

a) Noogie
b) Chinese Burn
c) Wet Willy

But you touch on a very good subject for determining American-ness. Questions regarding the basic rules of (American) football would probably easily expose a very high percentage of fakers, especially if one refers to it only as “football.”

What is the proper name of the sport that’s currently being buzzkilled in South Africa:

a. Football
b. Soccer

When crossing the street, which way do you look first:

a. Right
b. Left

To get to the convenience store about 1/2 mile from your front door, do you:

a. Walk
b. Drive

Please place these words in their correct place in this sentence: “I _____ to _____”

a. Work
b. Live

I have no idea what it is, either.

Look in the cereal aisle.

I love my country.

Presumably you’d still need to apply heat at some stage? Or are cold S’Mores acceptable?

Convert 7.5 kilograms to pounds.
Correct answer: Huh?

In America, any boy can grow up to. . .
A) win the World Series
B) become President
C) be on a reality show
Correct answer: traditionally B, but all are acceptable

My bologna has a first name. What is it?
Correct answer: O-S-C-A-R

American “light beer. . .”
A) tastes great
B) is less filling

If I really feel like cooking, I could apply cold milk.

But I never feel like cooking.

Pffft. It’s far easier than that. Hold a banquet where the only refreshments served are peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on Wonder Bread and root beer.

Anyone who leaves hungry isn’t a Real American[sup]TM[/sup]!