The 'REAL" US Citizen test

What does a goldfish taste like?

Where does Popeye the Sailor man live?

Where do the Clampetts live?

Who sells roadrunner traps?

What does George Bailey have in his pocket?

You got it right. And remember you only have to get 70% to pass.

On reflection, I think the OP’s questions are more in tune with “Are you a total geek?” than “Are you American?”

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Who you gonna call?

What’s the most wonderful thing about tiggers?

Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew, cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two?

Ooh-ee-ooh-ah-ah ___________

fifteen minutes could save you 15% or more on _________

Imma let you finish, but ______ had the greatest video OF ALL TIME.

Testing on American culture. Fill in the blank.

Take the ______ leave the ______

No, Mr Bond, I expect you to ______

I’ll be ______

______? We don’t need no stinkin’ ______

Life is like a box of ______

We’re gonna need a bigger ______

Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a ______

I ______ in your general direction

Excuse me while I ______ this out

______ ______ and ______ is no way to go through life, son

I am serious and don’t call me ______

I’m not ______ I’m just drawn that way

I can’t believe I gave my ______ to a geek

What we’ve got here is failure to ______

I love the smell of ______ in the morning

These go to ______

You can’t handle the ______

Show me the ______

Do we have to fill in the blanks for the British movies? :confused:

Little Nemo, you forgot There’s no crying in ___________

Brett Favre is:
a) Whiny
b) Bitchy
c) Overhyped

The only way to fail is not answering!

Sure, we stole parts of their culture and made it our own.

Pretty sure they haven’t made 007: On His Excellency’s Secret Service yet, though.

What about reciting the Pledge of Allegiance? Think that’ll catch out some of them pesky furriners?

Is “Badgers” (with the r) an acceptable answer?

Might catch us some Commies if we make them say the “under God” bit, too.

Only if your badger needs are already being adequately met.

And wash those badgers. We don’t need them stinking up the place.

I have to disagree that questions about Batman or Superman are ‘geeky’. Batman and Superman are American myths. It is not like quoting a short lived tv series “Serenity Now!”. They have been around for 80 years and are more popular than ever. To me it would be the equivalent of being Greek and not knowing who Zeus or Hercules is.

The problem with coming up with “only if you’ve lived here” types of ID questions is that all the ones I can think of are really specific to my particular region of the country (the Northeast, specifically the NYC metro area). What, really, are the common experiences of nearly everyone in the USA, that would not be shared outside of it?

I’d go with things from TV commercials, things related to major fast food joints, and things peculiar to the school systems or youth sports leagues in the US. I know, there are plenty of people in the US who don’t follow sports or watch enough TV or skip all commercials with TiVos/DVRs or whose schools were different for whatever reason, but the vast majority of Americans would be able to answer most of the following questions without too much trouble where (say) a near-natively fluent spy who was a HS exchange student from 10+ years ago likely would not:

  • How much is it for a “foot long” sandwich at Subway’s?
    (Note: the answer only counts as correct if they start singing or humming the “five… five dollar… $5 foot long” jingle.) :wink:
  • What are the names of the coffee cup sizes at Starbucks?
  • Name three things on the Dollar Menu at McDonald’s.
  • Who/what is “The Noid”, and how would you best avoid The Noid?
  • What is the maximum score on the SAT? (either 1600 or 2400 is OK)
  • How do you get someone out at Dodgeball?
  • What color is a school bus?

What are the ‘ingredients’ of a Bic Mac?
What is a Coney Dog?

-In 5,000 words or less, describe the impact of Rocky’s win over Ivan Drago on America winning the Cold War.

-Two chicks at the same time. Fuckin’ A?

Razors and butane?

Jeff Gordon or Dale Earnhardt?