Its too perilous.
Barfie smiley, stat!
Are we really limited to only one Ron story a day! I think it’s time for a new story!!
Just wanted to say the Ron stories are awesome, keep them coming!
Ha! I searched Youtube yesterday to see if that clip was available.
…Theta Delta Zeta, that is what I am, ohhhhhh yes.
Today’s Contribution
Ron and my sister came to visit at my Dad & Stepmum’s house. My husband and I joined them for dinner.
As we made small talk around the table, my stepmum asked me how my job hunt was going. (The company I had been working for had been bought out and was being merged so downsizing at our location was inevitable, so I was being proactive since Marketing Manager positions were sometimes challenging to find.)
Ron, of course, had the perfect solution. He had a friend who was doing something with computers that paid big bucks. He was not sure what it was but he knew it was easy and anyone could do it.
My sister sat beside him, unemployed (his manager had deemed it best for them to no longer work together - y’know, the tongue twister and hand holding being a bit much for people about to eat lunch). I suggested that maybe he might see about getting her a job with his friend. Or even himself.
He quickly shook his head. “Naw, I want to stay in management. Y’know, I’m practically acting assistant manager now, and if my boss decides to put my paperwork through - I’ll be making almost $10 an hour!”
“You know, a lot of folks wonder why a big-shot like me is not retired already. But I tell you, $17 grand a year just doesn’t go as far as you’d think.”
Well, here’s the deal - they only dated for a few years and after awhile, hanging around Ron was not my ideal way to have a good time . . .
Fortunately, for you all, my sister seemed to attract Ronulian people to her - so we can always go from the Ron thread to the Ronulian thread.
How very Dwight Schrute of him.
I wrote about my ex-roomie B.B.'s then-boyfriend, now soon-to-be-ex-husband-#7, who was a true Ron. It’s unfortunate that I can’t remember his real name off the top of my head; my mother and I always called him “that sorry motherfucker B.B. married.”
The followup.
One of my oldest friends is a Ron-duh.
She sent me an email a while ago. The entire first paragraph was whining about money and how they didn’t even have enough to feed their dogs (Shit-zhus that she had to have). She wasn’t sure how they were going to keep their house, especially now that her hubby had been laid off (he worked at Ford).
Fine. They obviously have problems.
The second paragraph was more whining - but about she was trying so hard to get pregnant and was sad because she couldn’t seem to.
So she wants to have a baby.
But she can’t even afford dog food.
Maybe she could feed the dogs to her baby.
Two problems solved.
Fixed that for you.
Oops. Thanks.
I was going to suggest that she feed them to each other, but the resulting imagery was a little too ghoulish even for me.
I’m loving the Ron stories. Keep 'em comming. 
Are Ronulians the ones with the pointy ears or the weird foreheads?
I think the general consensus is that they are the ones with the porn 'staches. At least, the male of the species. 
Yowza! That’s big bucks there, I don’t care who you are! I’ll bet as a Marketing Manager you didn’t even come close!
My ex-SIL is a Ron-duh. She spent seven years in college getting a four year accounting degree (over a 12 year period.) I feel very very sorry for anyone who ever hires her to do accounting.
She loved to brag about herself. It was always sad to hear her bragging about something that the average human would think was sad, like her used Poniac Grand Am that was nearly 10 years old when she bought it. There’s nothing wrong with an older used car, I’ve driven my share of them and my current car will someday be one, but I never brag about them.
There was also the time she told a detailed anecdote from a popular book and tried to pass it off as something that had happened to her. I still kick myself for not calling her on it.
Trying to decide which of the following makes me happier: a new Ron story, “Ronulan,” or that “Ron-duh” seems to be catching on.