melody, was Ron invited to your recent you-know-what that you mentioned in the TMI thread? 
Because I can totally picture him there. In fact, I can’t stop picturing him there…
They do. 
(Totally safe for work.)
Now I am too!
Perfect! I hereby redub that “The Rondom.”
It’s kind of eerie once you get that picture in your head. A brunette Anna Faris on one side and Chris “Christmas” Rodriquez on the other.
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Keeps your fella snug
While you keep feeling smug!
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I’ve found that Kimono brand condoms are a good fit for thin guys. The link is work-safe, unless you work for a very conservative company. It’s just a sales page from condom depot.
The fact that “tell” is present tense worries me. Was she referring to girlfriends that he had at the same time as he was living with her? I understand that some people have no problem with multiple partners and, provided everyone is in the know and okay with it, I don’t have any issues with it for others. The fact that she had never used a condom with Ron makes me doubt that he used a condom with his other girlfriends and I do worry about that situation. I hope you explained to her that second hand sex is a great way to pick up nasty little infections and/or diseases from strangers.
I did at the time, part of the motivation for the condoms in the first place.
Nice to see your font on the boards - miss you!
Heh.
Threadspotted!!
And a big gold chain complete with medallion, and a shirt open to his chest hair. I bet he replies to ads in the backs of men’s magazines, the ones that sell pheremone based colognes and creams to help you “last” longer and videos that show you how to be a better lover in just 12 easy video lessons. I bet he wears hair cream instead of gel, and he goes to a barber shop for touchups to his perm because going to Great Clips or Fantastic Sam’s is too feminine for him. I bet he has a two-door '79 Buick Regal, burgundy, with the wire wheels because they are more “classy”. I also bet he refers to it as “The Love Machine”. I would venture a guess that when he goes out, it’s to the nightclubs, not the bars, and the cheap so-and-so nurses one beer the whole night, unless the draft is on special.
Does it make me old that these are all the Rons I know?
blush oh my!
Today’s Contribution:
Ron had been hard to get a hold of. As readers may recall, he had moved my sister to BFE, and was supposedly staying with friends in town to save on gas. After several attempts to reach him, and several suspicious explanations, my sister was finally told the truth: Ron was staying with a woman.
It was a purely platonic relationship, of course. Only, Ron was sleeping with her.
“He’s what?!?” I asked.
“He’s sleeping with her. But it’s okay - he’s just trying to get her pregnant.”
“HE’S WHAT?!?” I shouted in to the phone at my sister.
“Well, she said he could stay with her if he got her pregnant. But it’s okay - it’s just his ex-wife.”
I’m partial to “a gosh of Ron-duhs”. It so perfectly captures the wide-eyed obliviousness.
And he watches Spike TV, and he just called in his second Enzyte refill.
You know, just when I think you can’t top the last Ron tale…you do.
My God. :smack:
Um, she did know how exactly it is that men attempt to get women pregnant, right? It’s not just “slumber in the same general vicinity”?
Yes, fortunately this was after the rondom incident - (which fwiw - I did go out and buy smaller ones that better fit him) - so she was at least safer than she was.
I was going to say, the amazing thing about these stories is that it keeps plumbing depths of cluelessness you didn’t think could possibly exist after the last one seemed like it must be rock bottom.
There are just no words.
That’s going to be hard to top unless he later talked her into unwittingly robbing a bank.
Dude, spoiler boxes!
Keep these stories coming, melody. They are awesome. And I’m taking your silence regarding my question above as a yes.