When eating popcorn refrain from searching around in the bucket or microwaveable bag as if in a hypnotic state whilst trying to grasp a crazed miniature invisible ferret at the bottom.
*Look * into the bag, sight the desired kernels, retreive them with the drumsticks jokingly referred to as your fingers and enjoy. Failure to grasp this basic rule of movie watching etiquette will result in your viewing partner or a possible stranger pouring their $12 diet coke over your head after they strangle you with buttery fingers and then use your body as an ottoman for their feet.
Thank you and enjoy your show.
Do **not ** loiter in front of the screen, be it home or theater. Move quickly and with purpose or stand aside. If found lingering, you will be used for target practice.
If you all want to sit together, arrive at the theater in time to find the appropriate number of seats. Don’t ask people who got there ahead of you to move in order to accommodate your tardiness.
Taking a fussy baby to the movie theater is a definite ‘no-no’, as is taking a child who is too young to understand that a theater is a place to be quiet. Don’t even get me started on people who bring children to films that are wildly inappropriate for their ages.
Many of us find “Inconsiderate Cel-Phone Man” to be very hilarious. It is NOT shown so you can then talk about how funny it was during the subsequent 16 minutes of trailers.
It’s supposed to remind you to be polite. That includes not talking nonstop whilst other patrons are attempting vainly to pay attention to the upcoming movies.
Thank you for your consideration. Please use the appropriate recepticles to deposit your refuse while exiting our theatre. And, please do come again. You rude, no-mannered, ill-bred snivelling toad.
n=n+1: If you are short, please don’t complain (aloud or under your breath) when a tall person sits in front of you. Tall people have to sit somewhere and they can’t tell if they are blocking your view. Just slide over one seat.
If I’m the only person in the row and you don’t know me, don’t freaking sit right next to me. It’s creepy and makes me want to jab you with a stick until you give me required space. Rule void if theater is crowded.
Don’t ask me who a person is or what’s happening. If I haven’t seen the movie, chances are, I’m just as clueless as you. If I have, it means it’s probably going to be revealed in the end, so just shut your mouth, wait and all will be made clear in time, I’m sure.
I would have to say the ONLY exception to this is CineBabies or an equivalent program which is set up specifically for parents of small children (generally up to a year) to get out and see a movie.
If you go to the movies with a date, and you start to make out with him/her in the dark, don’t be greedy–share the wealth and make out with everyone in the theater.
Especially if you are loud about it. That way, we may be interrupted, but at least it’s for a good reason.
Tripler
Just don’t think you’re getting any of my popcorn.
1.6e11 - Should you be suffering from some hideous affliction causing you to cough up gallons of phlegm avery two minutes, or sneeze and have to blow your nose loudly throughout the film, WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE RECOVERED before going to the cinema. Not only I your coughing, sneezing and oozing offputting to the rest of the people in the cinema, many of us value our health and would prefer not to have you spewing infection into the air in the cinema. Thankyou.
135a. If there are plenty of empty seats in the theater, don’t sit in the seats right smack-dab in front of us. You have the whole freaking theater from which to chose seats. Why, for the Love of Lowe’s, must you sit right in front of us?
If you have seen the movie before, whether it be at the theater or at home, please Please PLEASE refrain from quoting parts of the movie during the actual movie. This is especially irritating when you start quoting the lines a few seconds BEFORE the line is actually spoken. For those of us who have not seen the movie, it not only spoils it for us, it makes us want to find any small firearms that may happen to be around and USE THEM ON YOU.
So please, have some courtesy and shut your damn mouths during the movie.
(My apologies for making this sound more like a rant that belongs in the Pit. I just soooo hate these kinds of people in movies.)
