Actually the way it worked for me was - my husband dated crazy chicks before me. I mean no one has ever accused me of being normal but by comparison I’m a model of mental stability. He’s never mentioned that sex was better with them but somedays he’s actually smarter than that even if it was
My own advice from past failures - when you’ve suffered a trauma do NOT jump into a new relationship. It may seem right for now but eventually you will heal and this new person/old you…not who he signed up for. This will end badly.
18 years later he still feels like I deliberately mislead him.
Eh, I guess I don’t find it that offensive in either sex- I think guys should be free to stick their dicks in the hot crazy for as long as it seems worth it to them. It’s not likely to lead to long-term happiness, sure. But I wasn’t exactly looking to marry the fey Cambridge undergrad. Those blue eyes!
But when pursueing your hot, shallow conquest, don’t keep buying him drinks. That’s just a bad habit to get in to.
Yes, true love that lasts is quite capable of setting aside the googly goggles to evaluate the relationship (gets easier with time and practice)
Relationship counseling is a good thing before moving in, something along the lines of premarital counseling, even if you’re just going to live together without marriage/civil union/whatever they call it these days in your locale and for your sexual orientation.
This. Crazy sex is crazy good. You just have to be aware of how those with Borderline Personality Disorder (the usual suspects for “crazy”) can be manipulative and unpredictable. Get in, get out, and don’t even leave footprints.
Under no circumstances accept a date where a woman wants brings a friend along.
If they’re more than 15 minutes late, and they haven’t called, they’re not coming. Leave. If they do show up after that, you only look pathetic ad desperate for sticking around that long.
If you’re bumped twice in a row, give it up. They’re not interested.
If they’re always busy (e.g. “Well, I’ve got yoga on Tuesday and Thursday, I have to work late on Monday and Wednesday, my best friend Kristin is coming to town on Friday and Saturday, and Sunday, I have to catch up with errands. Can I give you a call?”), give it up. If they were really interested in you, they would find the time.
If they have to leave in the middle of a date for an “emergency”, they’re bailing on you. You’ll never see them again. NEVER. Women will often have their friends call or text them 30 minutes to an hour into a date. If the date is going well, they’ll keep the call very brief, and continue. If it’s not, they’ll often cut and run.
Women will also often get one or more “safety calls”, usually starting a couple of hours into a date. The intent of these calls is not to facilitate an excuse for leaving, but to make sure they’re still alive and that you didn’t rape her. Really. It’s insulting, but it’s the way it is.
Considering the above, it’s very, very unlikely that, if you’re a man, you’ll get through a date without her taking one, or more likely several cell phone calls. She’s not being rude; it’s just the way it works now.
It’s 2011. A kiss doesn’t have the deep meaning or implications of serious commitment that it did in the 1950s. If a first date ends in just a hug, without so much as a little peck, there may or may not be a second date in the works, but in any case she doesn’t see you as relationship material.
In online dating, if all her profile photos feature MySpace angles, she’s fat. Thin and weight/height proportionate women want to show others they’re not overweight.
The three-date rule only exists in dating advice books. Today, it’s “one and done”.
If you find someone unattractive, but you’re still compatible in all other areas, it’s not going to work. Lack of physical attraction is a very difficult thing to overcome. (Too many times, I’ve tried to stick it out with women I didn’t find physically attractive, hoping that their other attributes would make up for that. They didn’t.)
If you’re going to have crazy sex,which, by the way is crazy good, know what you’re getting into, and be prepared to deal with the likely consequences.
I don’t agree with this, but I’m not sure if I’m just a middle-aged weirdo or if it is an unreasonable expectation that phones get turned off during dates. My husband and I make it through almost* all of our dates without either one of us making or taking calls.
*As a safety officer, he is on-call for his job sites at odd hours, but he still only gets calls very rarely.
I’ve never lowered my opinion of someone because they put a lot of effort into making me happy. A woman who is desperate for any man, not so attractive. A woman who is desperate specifically for me, that’s very interesting.
Unrelated to even sven’s post but vaguely inspired by it, I think women seriously overestimate how interested men are in “the chase.” Hunting is something I do to things I want to kill, not things I want to fuck. I’m looking to spend time with a woman I like who likes me back. I’m not looking for some sort of challenge or test of my ability to convince people to sleep with me.
