He HAD A THIRD NIPPLE!
‘pLt and the porn gang would pay good money for footage of this’ he thought. If only I had a …
…video camera. He cursed his absent-mindedness. And he knew just where it was, too. He’d left it in the cabin that one time he had gone up for the weekend with…
… dpr. And everyone thought he was the shy retiring type. If only they knew his secret, for dpr was actually …
… JavaMaven’s studly, tanned pool-boy back at the B&B. As he spent his afternoons in a speedo, cleaning the pool, jumping on the trampoline, and rubbing JavaMaven’s feet, he spent his nights…
being trained at the slutboy academy of sex. With these skills he could …
…really make a living. He planned for after graduation, to open his own Escort Service and Pool Maintinence Business. He only needed $30K to start the business off right, and considering he was skimming off of JavaMaven’s accounts (he did blackmailing runs for her, too), it would only be a short time left before he would have the money, except…
…for the repressed memories that kept him, all unconscious, from fulfilling his lifelong dream. That’s why he’d gone to see eponymous the Zen Master in the first place. But once he found out the terrible truth…
That he was, in fact, the offspring of an alien-human love affair, not knowing, however, that his mother…
…was from the far off distant Left Behind Galaxy. It’s a good thing he didn’t know, because he would have been deeply ashamed. His mother was had come to Doperville because…
…of the All-You-Can-Eat Breakfast offer at Stucky’s Waffle House. She also knew…
She was deeply infatuated with ChrisP One Kenobe and his mastery of the Force. She came here and settled down with ChrisP and had a new life as…
…she couldn’t afford round trip tickets from her homeworld, but upon arriving in Doperville, was captured the heart by…
me dammit!
…and no one was going to steal her from ChrisP. Not even the dreaded…
eponymous, who secretly had had a torrid affair with soulsling’s waffle-eating alien mother before her tryst with ChrisP. But then things got even weirder when…
…a driod appeared with a hologram message…
{timeout} Geez not post for a day and become a soap star… sigh And now I’m confused. Who is my father?!? {/timeout}
… from wevets, the alien disguised as a cardinal in the Vatican City. “The Pope is now on our side!” He exclaimed. "I’m returning with him incognito to Doperville to complete our plan of…
step one … pretending to be catholic.
I am a little hazy on step 2
Step 3 - WORLD DOMINATION …
but …
…a man can’t dominate the world without a dominatrix. The woman he needed to really run the show was…
…of course Cristi. Or at a pinch Shayna. With his mole firmly entrenched in the evil that is organised religion, he laughed evillly (BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) and sank back into the shadows with his dominatrix…
Meanwhile back in Doperville Central, the people are starting to recover from their convulsions…