…Costa Rica, where they became involved with a small, yet influental group of…
…mimes.
The Mimes handed Trion their card. Their names were Harpo, Dopey, Henry, and The Captain. (Tennille was there also.) 
After the mimes presented several of their routines, Trion and Cecil communicated with them in ASL. It seems that…
…Shayna had last been seen getting inot a hellicopter with…
…After their trip to Muncie they had severe back problems caused by driving down McGalliard, before it was paved, of course. When they finally got to Ball State…
Britney Spears. This news of course sent shockwaves through the SD community. So many questions…
… about the plastic surgery rumours arose. How to ask them all in the space of time available. He looked for a line … something to garner some interest.
He was torn between “How YOU doin …” and “So … pLt’s porn ring … are you in on it?”
instead he settled for …
…“Baby thinkin of you keeps me up all night.” Britney was so impressed that a famous psyciatrist knew her lyrics that she immediately…
…‘hit’ him one more time before recovering with a girlish giggle and “Ooops. Did it again.”
The whole scene was so sickingly sweet that anyone in the immediate vicinity spontaneously developed diabetes. What to do now? This was obviously a job for…
…Persephone, who does not know the lyrics to a single one of Britney Spears songs, but hates her on principle. Thus being the case, she has no problem whatsoever offing the little brat. But how to do it…
Determined, Cristi enlists the aid of the mad scientist/inventor Baloo who comes up with a machine designed to respond to silicone…
…Unfortunately, the machine’s only response is to jump, emit a shrill whistle and several clouds of smoke, and bellow, “THIS IS SILICONE!!” Cecil vowed to the Teeming Millions that the machine would get the worst possible description in his next Straight Dope book. Meanwhile, Trion, still reeling from his adventure with the muggers and with Louise Brown (and her husband Stan, the big burly man), decided he had had enough of this nonsense. So, on his web page, he added a bright, splashy announcement in which he announced that, contrary to popular opinion…
…he is not a duck. Of course, everyone ignored that claim and continued to believe that…
…he did indeed have a fowl past.
In fact things got worse as his web page came under the notice of special agent Democritus (FBI) who was investigating censorship and the immoral writings of certain individuals. He swaggered into town with a big gun and an even bigger…
…chip on his shoulder. But he was calmed down by Sally Mears, this time fully dressed, and her sexy but highly intellectual friend, Phoebe Atwood–intellectual because she’d read all the Straight Dope books. Anyway, Phoebe admonished him that he had better simmer down or she and Sally would…
…hack into his web page and post his ugliest baby pictures on it, with an audio clip of him throwing up and farting at the age of one year. He scoffed at this and dared Sally and Phoebe to try it because he had…
…in fact sprung fully grown, Athena-style, from his father’s head. So they threatened to show the post-op pictures of Dad’s skull instead, but he…
…sent them both to a screening of Cabin Boy, which rendered the duo imbecilic for a good while. After locking them in the theater, Trion turned to his trusty lackey, Quadzilla, for a good recommendation on…
…stock purchases. Quadzilla handed over a folder of compiled tips he had been working on but, unbeknownst to both of them, Quadzilla’s original folder had been switched with…
… a file of quotes from Trion’s insane evil twin in the Brentwood Asylum, who has by now become richer than Bill Gates through use of Quadzilla’s tips. As the twin prepares to purchase the Brentwood Asylum and turn it into a sweatshop that churns out cheap chocolate and candy through blatant violations of leprachaun labor laws, Trion realized…