…that this was a plot to ruin him, started by…
Mullinator, who was burning with jealousy at Trion’s successful and enduring tryst with…
…Camilla Parker-Bowles, to whom he was once recorded saying…
…“It looks a lot like a gherkin, doesn’t it?”. In the background could be heard the distinct sound of…
a tampon factory.
Acting on a tip from a leprechaun smuggled out of the asylum in someone’s boot, however, Constable Matt was closing in on the illegal operation. Adjusting his Mountie hat, he…
…and strode boldly forward, epitomising the very spirit of heroism, decency and good dry-cleaning. He pausedto survey the Monthly Mark building facade and reached for the door handle. Unfortunately…
…not only was there a huge wad of chewed gum on the handle, he tripped, landing squarely on…
…the holding tank Sally and Phoebe were held in, collapsing the walls. After he spent three ecstatic hours with the two women, 
they went on their way. He then heard an ear-splitting siren, and felt an oppressively cold sensation. He knew now that he had stumbled straight into the center of…
…the biggest darn baked potato you ever saw. He realized that he’d better get out somehow before he was chived to death. He called for help from tomndebb, dougie_monty, Jayron, Bermuda999, and several other Dopers to help him. Unfortunately, they…
…had found the map to Arkon’s secret vault, and had left to punder the fortune the dead man had left.
Several of the dopers, using hammers, a crowbar, and a hacksaw, pried open the door to the vault–Trion had sneaked in earlier with welding tools and welded the dial shut! They pried the door open and howled in glee at the sight of mounds of gold coins, diamonds, priceless paintings, gold and silver ingots, and Hershey bars. The only persons to hear the howling were Sally and Phoebe, who called a few of their women friends, to the male Dopers’ delight; and several female Dopers, who were horrified at the ecstatic encounter between the male Dopers and the five bimboes. One of the angry women decided then and there to bring a camcorder and…
…record this for REAL TV, or the FBI, or even the NFL. 
But it backfired. The Teeming Female Millions themselves got so horny at what they saw Sally and her four friends doing with the male Dopers, they couldn’t take it any more, dropped the camcorder and ran to get their share. As the videotape later showed, the sight of all these naked bodies piled one on top of another resembled…
…tapioca pudding. How or why the scene managed to resemble tapioca pudding was a secret known only to…
pans out
…the giant disembodied alien who was watching, watching…
Where his intentions good? Did he manipulate for evil? Or he was he a disinterested observer?
/end tangent
We now return you to your regular orgy…
cue naked writhing bodies
…from the floor of the Republican National Convention in Philadelphia, in a session the broadcast media were forbidden to approach. Several delegates hacked into Trion’s website and patched the computer into the overhead monitors, and watched with rapt interest as the Dopers’ orgy continued on into the night. The floor was a sight to see as the youngest and horniest Republican delegates…
jumped onto the platform where bush was speaking and tried to strip him down to his sexy red and white polkadot boxers…
Embarassed, Bush held firmly onto the elastic of his shorts and stammered,"…
mm…mmmooo…mmmmooooommmmm!!!" bush stumbles off the stage and into the crowd where a wild orgy ensuses, and everyone gets a piece of those boxers…meanwhile back at the bat cave…
…Batman’s thoughtful pondering into a) who did it? and b) exactly where is this storyline going? were interrupted by the arrival of Enilorac - resplendant in her Supergirl costume.
“No time for that now Bruce” she giggled “Aliens are about to invade the planet”
She quickly told him all she knew (how much time passed is open to debate).
He leapt to his feet and cried manfully “It all makes sense now. These machinations are a plot to divert our attention. Obviously the one behind this is devious and cunning. It’s obviously…”
NOT Audrey. It’s probably the work of my nemesis, dpr!"
With that, Batman grabbed Supergirl by the hand and hopped into…