How’d you like to writhe on top of my piano? 
I’m pretty sure that one of the admins on this board plays the tuba. 
I’m a trained pianist and singer, and have almost 10 years of community theatre experience (both backstage and on the boards). Sadly, though, while I can learn simple dance routines I’m no triple threat.
Here’s hoping they need two of us!
I’m a helluva stage manager, can shift scenery (and build it), can run lights and sound and special effects. I also do followspot and props.
Sweet! And I can pull a Natalie MacMaster/Leahy and do some Irish/Scottish dancing atop my fiddlin’, too.
I can do The Great Arctic Trick! Yeah!
Ok, so we’ve got: [didn’t volunteer, but would have the spotlight thrust upon them]
EMCEE/MODERATOR (heh)
Rico
with stand-up by Carlyjay
MUSIC
Tracy Lord - violin
Sampiro - piano
Eonwe - piano and conduct
Misnomer - piano
Rico - ukelele
tashabot - flute
[TubaDiva - tuba]
SINGING
DeVena & Misnomer in a big beautiful women duet
Kythereia - torch song
Cervaise - show tunes
Carlyjay
Rico
Kizarvexius - bass-baritone
DANCE
[SurrenderDorothy - ballet]
Anaamika - Kathak and folk
twickster - tap, Eonwe - tap {do I smell dance-off?}
Tracy Lord - Celtic
ACTING/IMPROV
Poysyn
Cervaise
OttoDaFe
Cervaise
Carlyjay
SPECIAL SKILLS
Poysyn - walk on barrel
Kotick - Great Arctic Trick (good, we needed nudity)
Lord Il Palazzo - groupie
gigi - hanger-on
CREW
OttoDaFe
Ludy plus one
tashabot plus one other
SnakesCatLady
Sounds like quite the smash hit. I suggest tickets start at $75 for nosebleeder seats.
I minored in theater, was in quite a few shows and once had a supporting role on a German television, daytime mini-series for teens (I played the evil American drug dealer).
However, I volunteer to be the bookkeeper…have had no experience whatsoever, but go ahead and send me money for advanced ticket sales. Prices start at the suggested $75 and go up to $1,500 for VIP seats with the opportunity to meet and greet (and maybe have sex with) the cast and crew after the show.
I can play guitar a little. I’m also a magician, so I can add some neat magic to the show. And if you want kinda ‘sideshow’ variety stunts, I can also hammer a nail into my head.
Yes, indeed, the long winter evenings just fly by at my house…
So what should some of the segments be?
Rogers and Hammerstein: “The Gentleman is a Dope”
I suggest some They Might Be Giants. Like Why Does The Sun Shine