So we would have nothing to fear but…
The pay sucks, and they don’t even give you a t-shirt. 
I also lack a proper mod mentality.
Because the conversations in ATMB make my head hurt.
The Christmas tree in Angels with Filthier Souls has fooled many people too. I’d be a little more lenient if I were you.
Also anyone who puts ketchup on a hot dog.
I think you have to be moderate in order to moderate. Leaves me out.
Who needs a tee when you can get sparkly jackboots?
Two hours a day, maybe; it wasn’t a very busy board. For me the problem was that it had to be every day, which not only messed up my weekends, but whenever I wanted to go away I was expected to still have internet access and moderate. This was in the early 2000s, when remote access was complicated.
Because there are people I believe are here who do nothing good for the forum and I’d be spending too much time trying to get them booted.
Also I work 15 hours most days so I come here to scroll about while I have a coffee break. My patience is stretched after about fifteen minutes. Five if I click on the pit. 
One thing I’ve noticed is that Tuba hasn’t apologized for not extending a personal invitation. WELL! I guess she really doesn’t want me to apply. :mad:
I am retired and already spend a couple hours a day on the boards. I think I would be a pretty laid back mod.
All you sons of bitches who don’t use the word literally right? Dead men.
Wow, I guess I’m literally a dead man walking, then (as I type this while seated in my chair).
Because my judgement is too good and those clowns wouldn’t let me into their treehouse.
If I told you, I would have to **** you. And being in prison would DQ me (I think) and most of all might DQ me from the Celebrity Death Pool.
@GuanoLad, thank you. I am not interested but I was curious about that. I spend maybe 15-30 minutes a day here.
if i wanted to put up with a bunch of rules lawyers id just run a high school aged ad&d game at the local shop …
I’d nominate you as a GQ mod, if nominations were the way it was done.
I’d be too capricious and screw with people for no reason. I’d ban anybody who used “literally.” I’d give scary Mod warnings to newbies, then tell them I got them confused with somebody else. I’d isolate a random user to an instance forum filled with bots who’d agree with everything they say. I’d introduce drinking rules to a random thread and suspend anybody who doesn’t follow them.
I’d do this for a couple hours then lose interest in modding altogether.
Omg why has no one ever created a Straight Dope drinking game?
We have, we have, but there were so few survivors.