The StraightDope Convention Centre

Fairychatmom, in this thread described the SDMB thus:

It’s a great description, and i reckon theres a thread in it (if no-one posts here then i’ll know i was wrong :slight_smile: )

So here’s the scene:

The SDMB is, in fact, a business-style convention. Its being held in some big conference centre in America (us foreigners have flown in specially) with a large main hall and a couple of smaller side halls and rooms.

Now here’s where you guys come in - when you post you can choose to be:

  1. A visitor - and describe what you do and what you see around you


  1. An exhibitor/stand-holder - and describe where your stand is, what it looks like, and what you are up to.

So to kick it off…

There’s a small room off of the main hall, barely larger than a closet - a real “blink and you’ll miss it” job. Stuck on the wall outside with Gaffer tape is a printed sign which says:

Web Development

The door is proped open by a coverless computer which to the casual observer looks dead, but which screams “fix me!” to any passing techies.

Inside there are two tables. One has two computers on it which appear to be networked together. They are both running Neverwinter Nights and are surrounded by half empty coke cans and a hgalf-eaten plate of chips.

The other has a Dreamcast attached to a tv with Space Channel 5 running. Next to that is a projector wired to a lap-top. Its happily projecting a dazzling flash demonstration on the back wall of the room.

Stuck to the projector is a hand written note:

Gone to the Bar

Anyone entering the bar will find me perched on the end trying to convince a young nubile barmaid that i’m the 4th Earl of Gloucester and know Prince William personally.

I’m failing miserably.

So what are you lot up to?

I’d have a little display stand for Cecil’s Hard Cider: “Fighting ignorance never tasted so good!” and I’d give out free samples and hand out little hors d’ourves on toothpicks. I’d give out brochures to people who were interested in distributing it, too.

I could think of other booths, though.

I’m definitely a visitor.

I feel overwhelmed at the amount of booths here. There are people here shilling things I’ve never even heard of.

When it’s the stuff I know about (running, dieting, bodily functions) I pop on over and have a quick chat, but otherwise, I’m wandering around looking at all there is to offer.

Geez, this room is HUGE!

My exhibit would be far too mundane and pointless, so I shall wander about. Well, except for Exhibition Hall GD - it’s far too intense in there. I’m not looking for anything in particular and everything in general. I’ll linger at some stands and pass others by with barely a glance at the big overhead signs. I’ll pick up a few brochures and snacks, but mostly, I’ll mosey about, taking it all in.

Then I’ll find me a seat in the Pit and complain about how much my feet hurt. And I’ll bemoan the burden of being an inspiration. :stuck_out_tongue:

Just a thought - should the Pit have a dunking booth? Three chances for a buck, proceeds going to the Hampster Retirement Fund. :smiley:

Who do you think just handed you that pint, garius ?
Hooray! An excuse to go back to bartending. And knowing this crowd, it’ll be just as lucrative as my current employ…

…so anyway as i was saying - i’m serious. My father, the 3rd Earl, died when i was very young. So i inherited the family estate at a very young age. The estates aren’t as extensive as the used to be. These days they only make about 2-3 million a year - but i get by.

William and myself go back a long way. We’re very close. He was saying to me the other day actually - “Garius you need to find a girl. Someone you can lavish money on, someone you can bring to all my exclusive parties.”

I laughed at him of course. Told him no woman would ever get me all doe-eyed.

But then i met you.

You with your incredible eyes, your perfect smile, and your enchanting laugh. Your swan-like neck captivates me. It would wear diamonds as perfectly as your soft hand wears that gold…


That gold wedding ring.


I’m manning the Information Booth. I’ve got maps of the convention center with lists of who’s where and what’s what, and I get to sit here all day and make snide remarks about the clothing people are wearing and how people look so different from what I expected.

Plus, I’ve got a PC that’s hooked up via wireless network to Garius’s’s NeverWinter Nights server. I’m playing a half-orc fighter. Rarr.

In a small booth tucked away in a cozy corner is a mock-up with bannister bookcases and leather chairs. An antique globe sits in one corner, and many heavy tomes are scattered about.

Four televisions are blaring live news-feeds, and there’s a computer station with three monitors hooked up to political databases and lobby tools (and minimized on one screen, if you look really hard you can make out “Google Search results for hunky geeks” on the menu bar).

Next to the monitors is a small wet bar, complete with all the fixings for the martini of your choice. Atop the bar is a frosty glass mug with garius’ name etched into it.

I sure as hell wouldn’t be working there. In all likelihood, I’d be at the bar watching garius with a bemused smile and enjoying some brew of my own.

That is, if I didn’t get hung up making a martini at jetgirl’s.

So much alcohol, so little time.