Not an American in europe, but an American in America.
My syster lived in Maryland for a while, and was working in a Supermarket. While she was packing bags, she struck up conversation with one of the locals. When the Local heard she was from Ireland, the first sentence out of his mouth was “Oh My God, I’m so sorry about the famine.”
You left out the best part, kferr! They had to cross the Dutch-Belgian border AND the Belgian-French border before they noticed they weren’t in Germany!!
In Co. Cork ROI, I heard the following exchange. A guy pulling over to the side of the street had just run over an American’s foot;
American; Jesus Christ, Goddamit, Goldarn etc.
Irishman; Whats the matter? What happened.
American; You ran over my Goddamn foot, Jesus Christ etc.
Irishman’s wife; Didn’t you hear us driving up to the kerb.
American’s wife; No he’s hard of hearing.
American; And this asshole is hard of driving!
Stupidity isn’t reserved to Americans though.
Years ago my Mum and I were driving out of Londonderry in Northern Ireland when we picked up a New Zealander hitch hiking. She explained that she had missed her tour bus and if we could get her to a small town a short distance away before her bus got there she could resume her tour. We agreed but shortly after road works forced us down a small side road and we came up behind a lorry leaving a farm with a load of dead cows. The stench was over powering, a strange sort of gunge was oozing out of the lorry onto the raod and apart form the sign on the back of the lorry saying what it was carrying there were a multitude of stiff cows legs giving a porcupine effect.
The stench was too much and my Mum turned to me and said “we better hang back from that truck, you know whats in the back of it.”
The New Zealander leaned into the front with a shocked look on her face and whispered " Why? D’you think there’s a terrorist in there?" :wally:
I was in the sublime Sagrada Familia catherdral-in-proceess in Barcelona. It is a cathedral that is being build that was designed by Gaudi. It has been in construction for nearly a hundred years. After visiting so many wonderful buildings in Europe it was amazeing for me to see one being built. When it is finished it promises to be one of the most breathtaking buildings in the world and certainly an emblem of Barcelona.
There is reasonable admission charge to see the museum, climb the towers and generally look at what is going on. All the proceeds go to help continue construction.
I got very sick when I visited (whenever I see pictures of it I get to point and say “there is the catherdral I vomited in!”), and I had to lay down on a bench for a while. That is when I heard the stupidest comment I heard in Europe (although this time it was from an Australian). He was rather well dressed, obviously a serious “traveler” as opposed to grundgy backpackers like us.
He said “I can’t believe I paid for this! It isn’t even finished! I don’t see how they can charge for us to see a construction zone! What a rip off. I’m telling everyone I know not to come here. Shady Spanairds!”
A painting can be a good representation of a sunset, but to say a sunset looks like the painting is a bit on an insult to the beauty of the real thing.
I’ve noticed an interesting phenomenon while reading this thread (hilarious stories btw). Not one person has stepped forward to confess to having done something stupid while abroad. No, they have all been standing off to the side, clutching their heads in their Gauloise-stained fingers with embarrassment while one of their hawaiian-shirted countrymen does something gauche.
It’s simple. THEY - those stupid, provincial, ugly fools - they are tourists (said with all the dripping contempt one can muster). They are reviled, looked down on, and they deserve it. They give (insert country of origin) a bad name.
WE, on the other hand, surely aren’t considered to be of the same ilk. WE - the worldly, considerate, educated, hep to the customs of (insert country of destination) - we are travelers.
Or maybe what she meant was that the scene was so picturesque that you would think it could only be artificially aranged to be perfect. I realize that this is MPSIMS, not the Pit so I should keep my contrarian nature to a minimum, but still…I don’t think it’s a dumb statement at all.
I was vacationing in England with a couple of other Yanks. We had just climbed up Glastonbury Tor and were resting admiring the view with about a half-dozen locals nearby. The girl I was with looked at us all and asked “So, where can we go pick some Glastonberries?”
Overheard in the Lamb and Flag in Covent Garden, London, directed at the barman no less: [heavy Noo Yawk accent] “DO YOU GUYS HAVE SEINFELD OVER HERE? WE THINK HE IS SOOOOO FUNNY!”[/accent]
I still get creeped out remembering that.
When I was visiting the Louvre I worked my way through the crowd so that I could look at the Mona Lisa. As I’m standing there I am shoved from the left. I looked over to see some asshole wearing a University of Nebraska sweat shirt with his back to the painting. He said to me indignantly, “Uh, excuse me, I’m trying to have my picture taken.”
And I just remembered another really odd presidential moment in Germany: when Ronald Reagan said a nice little eulogy at Bitburg for the SS soldiers who were “victims” of WWII.
It was night, I stopped reading the signs because they ALL looked like that same thing, over and over again, “Aaadoooapooa” in Amsterdam and “Aufdoofkaf” in Germany, you don’t have the big lake to the west and the Rockies to the east, and as I have said soooooooooooooooooooooo many times before, my co-pilot S-U-C-K-E-D the big one at navigating! Besides, it was me, DIANE, who discovered we were heading southwest instead of southeast (or is it southeast instead of southwest), not to mention the one who gave birth to the boy with the radar built into his head and ultimately got us back to grandpa’s.
Let me preface my own admission of stupid Americanisms by saying that by the standards of my peers I’m not an utter and complete moron.
Allworthy, to Englishwoman: So, do you go over to Europe at all?
Englishwoman: England IS in Europe.
<I meant the continent on the other side of the English Channel, but I chose to look for a rock to hide under rather than explain myself.>
Also, while spending a year at an English university I never could wrap my head around the fact that a map of Ireland and Britian was televised during the weather forecast.
It’s actually quite common for Brits (and Irish) to refer to the Continent as “Europe”. She was probably just trying to make you feel stupid because you’re American. So don’t dwell on it