Complete this sentence:
If I had (Superhero’s name) powers, I would (trivial act).
I decided to post this thread as I was thinking:
If I had Professor X’s powers, I would beam into peoples’ heads who were driving slow in the fast lane “GET OVER TO A SLOW LANE, YOU TWIT, AND NEVER DO THIS AGAIN!!”
You?
If I had Lobsang’s powers, I would remove a pen from someone’s hand while they are writing and laugh as they wrote nothing.
If I had The ring bearer’s powers, I would make merry pour his pint of brandywine over his head.
If I had Aquaman’s powers, I’d ask goldfish if they really had 5-second memories.
If I had Superman’s powers, I would help people open tight jars.
If I had Luke Skywalker’s powers, I’d use the Force to levitate food and beverages from the fridge into my hands. My bloated, size-of-Christmas-hams hands.
If I had Wonder Woman’s powers, I’d lasso guys and ask them if these pants make my ass look fat.
If I had Mr. Fantastic powers then I’d make a lot of women very happy.
If I were Superman, I’d use my heat vision to dry all those knit shirts that always come out of the dryer still damp.
If I had Batman’s powers…
Oh, wait. I do.
If I had Spider-Man’s ability to cling to any surface and balance my entire body weight from any extremity… … hoo-boy.
I would juuuUUUuust now be finishing a book I’d call “Askia’s Indispensible Addendums to the Kama Sutra.”
Chapter one: Ceiling Sex.
Chapter five: Wallbanging
Chapter thirteen: Clingunilingus
If I had Hawkeye’s powers, I’d pick off Kree from a distance and not get sucked into their spaceship’s warp drive intakes.
If I had Flash’s powers I would use them to cheat at Euchre
If I had Animal Man’s powers I would make fresh honey for my bread every morning. :eek:
If I had Superman’s or Wolverine’s or any invulnerable or regenerating hero’s power, I would jump off of buildings and lay there until someone came to check on me and then shout “Boo!”
I’ve asked my inner fourteen-year-old and he had this to say…
“If I had (Insert Superhero’s name) power I’d use it to score with chicks and beat up guys who were dicks to me.”
If I had Matter Eater Lad’s powers, I’d use them to eat stuff.
What?
I wouldn’t call those TRIVIAL usues. 
If I had Morph’s power, I turn into Hillary Clinton and walk around in a bikini in public. I’d make sure there were paparazis around, too.
Post Script:
Guys, sorry about the visual image, especially if you have as sensitive and vivid of an imagination as I.
Heh … I remember in Roger Ebert’s review of the teenage-witches movie, “The Craft,” one of his complaints was that so many individuals in movies who find themselves with special powers can’t seem to think of anything better to do than the most trivial of activities.
You appear to have missed the opportunities available in the field of Force Groping. Turn to the Dark Side, my son!
If I had Aquaman’s powers, I’d do whatever it is Aquaman normally does.
You can’t get more trivial than that.
Ruling and defending a kingdom, and occasionally pitching in to help defend a world you’re vaguely hostile towards?
That’s trivial? Glad I don’t have your life!
(I hate people dissing the A-man.)