The sweet, sweet pangs of anal fire

I made curried chicken over rice Tuesday night. Nothing fancy, just your ordinary red curry recipe: curry paste, coupla cans of coconut milk, fish sauce, a little chicken stock, and a double handful of Thai basil leaves, plus cubed chicken along with snow peas and chopped yellow and orange peppers for color and texture. That, over basmati rice. Mmm.

I made plenty, because I knew it would be tasty and I wanted leftovers. There was enough for a nice big dinner, and then smaller meals for the next two days. And just to make it extra yummy, I threw in half again as much curry paste as normal, as well as some of the seeds from the peppers. Very spicy in the mouth. Delicious.

Of course, the next morning, I’m getting the old rumblings of unhappiness from my lower intestine, and I wind up spending an hour or so running back and forth between my desk at work and the toilet, and wincing at the stinging burn afflicting my undercarriage.

I’m not asking for sympathy here. It’s my own fault; I just love the hot, hot curry, even though I know the inevitable result. And what’s more, shortly after the fallout from dinner was finished, I dug greedily into the leftovers for lunch, even though I knew full well that I’d be repeating the ordeal. It’s just too scrumptious not to enjoy, you know? And, sure enough, that night, my wife was rolling her eyes at my late-hour bathroom groans.

So I had the final meal last night, polishing off the remainder with great satisfaction. I can now feel the first twinges of discomfort in my gut, and I expect to be dashing to the john within an hour or so to unleash my anal flamethrower. It will not be pleasant.

But it will be worth it. In fact, I wish I had more.

I have felt your pain! I love making Thai curries, my favorites are red curry of chicken, straw mushrooms and shrimp, and a Massaman curry with fish, potatoes, and green onions…mmmm

I know what I’m making tonight! I have all weekend to recuperate:)

The rectal monsoon season approaches.

I just HAD to open this thread upon reading the title.

I, too, am a spice abuser. I think it stems from rebellion against my Scandinavian heritage. I admit egregious overuse of garlic, Cajun seasoning, and habanero sauce. Fortunately, I haven’t experienced the resulting anal karma yet – I don’t know if it’s youth, a gradual buildup in tolerance, or just good luck.

But sweetie, really, you used about half a jar of red curry paste. What were you thinking? A couple of tablespoons (two) would have done the trick for flavor, along with with some hot garlic chile sauce for heat.

That stuff rumbled through me too, you know. :slight_smile:

I don’t like hot hot hot curry, but I LOVE the milder stuff. Yummmmmmmmmm…

I like Mexican food EXTREMELY spicy! Like you said, you know you’re going to pay for it, but it’s so yummy! :slight_smile:

All together now…


Mmm, garlic. How much is too much? When it hurts too much to eat. Up until then, the burn is goooood.

I figured with as much pepper as you put on stuff, you’d have a cast-iron tummy by now. Sorry about that.

For everyone else who I’m sure was waiting with bated breath for the latest update on my intestinal situation, today’s tuckus torch was nowhere near as bad as it was yesterday and the day before. Yay for tolerance!

And here I thought this would be a continuation of your post to the Fred Phelps Pit thread!

Ya know, I eat hot peppers all the time, even with meals that most people wouldn’t. So, when I do eat a really spicy dish, it usually doesn’t affect me.

Except for this one Thai restaurant I like. Sometimes, the rectum dribble is like Alen blood, if you know what I mean.

Where I come from, we call this B.A.S. (pronounced bass, like the fish).

It stands for burning asshole syndrom, and many a bemoaned comment has been made between friends above a platter of spicy mexican food:

“This is delicious, but God help me when B.A.S. comes tonight!”

“And it burns, burns, burns, that ring of fire, that ring of fire.”

That song was used to advertise curry flavoured noodles, here in the UK.

Before partaking of an extremely spicy dish I alway put a couple of toilet rolls in the fridge, ah the sheer bliss!!! :slight_smile:

Sod the fridge - put them in the freezer!

Also, if you can get it Stateside, germolene is your friend - antiseptic cream with local anaesthetic. A perfect companion for those who love chilli.

Oh c’mon, take it like a man!

We spicy food enthusiasts have gotten quite used to constant anal flamage. It’s not a high price to pay for such lovely food.

Ya know, this used to happen to me, but one day, I made myself some burritos and put some Daves Insanity hot sauce on em.
Now this hot sauce is pretty potent stuff, a drop or two warms up a whole pot of chili. I put a long wide line of the stuff on to tortilla, then loaded up with the usual fixins. Oh man did that burn the next morning, forget coffee, that will wake you up quicker than a nice bowl of Crack. After that, I think my anal nerves used for sensing fire were burnt out, not there are no worries.

Before anyone trys this, IT HURTS, I would not recomend it.

As for Thai food, I went to a resturaunt before I cured my rectal ez-bake oven, I asked for uh, I forget what, but I asked for it to be hot, The waitress had this evil grin on her face and asked me if i was sure, I said make it as hot as you can. Well, let me tell you, It was pretty spicy. I ate it all, sweat dripping down my face.
I think I impressed them, all that was left over was a slice of jalapeno, and a couple of whole Thai chillis.

'tis true.


As a scientist, I’m (only slightly) curious as to how one goes about quantifying “constant anal flamage.” Are there special “sphincter color-temperature” units AKA ButtholeThermalUnitss (healthy pink=1, glowing molten red=10) and what shape are the sensing probes?

Enquiring minds want to know!

:rolleyes: Ok, I think I don’t love you.