I have no idea of your situation but you might want to lawyer up. My employer is notorious for denying disability, and losing every time on appeal with proper counsel.
This thread keeps bumping up against Gurujulp’s.
I like the two of them together.
**Tugig **- dang, dude!! :eek:
**Pearl **- no recipe, really, just thickened broth seasoned with poultry seasoning, cut up chicken - I’ve got half a chickie that I rotissed on Monday - with the aforementioned veggies, plus peas, all dumped into a round casserole dish with a prefabricated pie crust on top, baked till it’s done. Like I said, no real recipe.
**rosie **- good luck with HR!!
Guess I really should hit the shower. But that would require me to, like, stand up and walk and stuff… It’s so difficult to be me… <more poses of woe>
FCM I look forward to our lunch. I’ll tell you all the shit I didn’t write.
Woohoo - I get to hear all the juicy details!! 
Mine is boiled chickie, cream of chickie soup, salt, pepper, & veggies, with bisquick crust on top… I’m trying to get rid of the bisqick!
2gig, Glad you & Mooooooom have a chance to talk, if you need to some more, PM me, k?
Taomist, me too.
Now, I have GOT to pry me off this puter & go clean!
Will do! I am enjoying my SDMB friends. I have great friends IRL as well but it’s nice to interact with written words with others. It’s always been a great pleasure of mine.
So, tugig, when you say you’re stuck dealing with your ex’s kids, are we talking minor kids? College age? Adults? If they’re minor kids, your ex is in hella trouble. If they’re college age or adult, they’re on their own. You can help if it makes you happy, but you’re not under any obligation, especially since they disowned you.
So, the hair looks great. Without henna, I would be a washed out gray, mousy brown, which I don’t think is fair, because I’m only 40, and I started off towheaded blond. Stupid genes. Thankfully, my coloring makes red totally plausible. I also mix very strong tea into the dye, so I get a nice brown undertone to it. The orange is coming off my hands slowly but surely.
Yesterday, before the dyeing of the hair, I stopped at Panera for breakfast and some time with my netbook. Next to me sat a pregnant mom and her little girl, maybe 18 months old. The little girl was fascinated by my netbook case, a soft bag. Her mom told her to leave it alone, but I took a moment to show it to her, show her the zipper and the handles and what it looked like on the inside. You would have thought that I’d shown her the inside of Fairyland she was so fascinated. The mom thanked me, the little girl was satisfied, and I was happy. I don’t get to spend enough time with little kids.
I’ve announced my dad’s diagnosis on Facebook and gotten many, many messages of love and support from my friends. The thread in IMHO has supplied much needed advice and resources.
It’s astonishing in a terrible way. Dad’s trans-ischemic attack was in late February. He got the news that he was permanently banned from driving on the 8th of March, and Mom was told he has Alzheimer’s. In two weeks, he went from being able to hold a conversation most days to being sullen, hostile, have violent emotional swings, completely lose the remainder of his short term memory, and go into complete denial about what’s happening.
On Monday, he told my brother and I that we weren’t welcome anymore. He locked me out of the house when I’d gone to run errands (I had housekeys on me, thank heavens), told me I was housebreaking when I came back in, and then told bro and me that if we were still there in the morning, he would call the police. That night, he watched a movie with my mom and laughed and joked.
Last night, he announced that he was leaving today to go live on my bro-in-law’s boat. Mind you, since losing his wallet, he has no ID, no cash, no ATM card, no credit card, no checkbook, and there’s nothing on the boat to make it liveable. It’s only used for excursions.
This morning, he hasn’t mentioned leaving, and he did his PT exercises on his own.
One of the things that’s very hard for me to cope with is that he will not talk to me anymore. If I ask a question, he ignores me. If I enter a room, he leaves it. He’s made statements to me, but while he does it, his expression is that of hatred. I realize it’s the disease, but no one else is on the receiving end of it like I am. He still talks to my brother and is even willing to go places with him. He still talks to my mom, though it’s mostly arguing.
We’ve added anti-anxiety meds to his pills, and that seems to be helping, but it doesn’t change his reaction to me, just mutes it.
We’re now in the process of rebuilding his documentation. I’ve ordered birth certificates. From there, we can get him a new military ID. I was actually able to order a new Medicare card online with no hassle, but it’ll take a month to get here. We’re also trying to figure out how we can place him. Assisted living sounds like the best option, but my mom is terrified of cost. It looks like Dad is eligible for VA benefits, which will lift much of the financial burden, but Mom’s becoming overwhelmed.
Two weeks, and Dad’s mind has imploded. What happens in the next two weeks? When do we get our lives back? I don’t get to take care of him anymore, because he won’t cooperate with me at all. So, it may be time for me to start looking for a full-time job. It would be a nice change.
pouka I am sorry about all that you are going through. But you know that, and after reading this one I am so happy to be talking to someone who is strong enough to deal with life. Trust me it’s a refreshing change!
And let me remind you again you are strong. I parse your postings and I see positive learning and growth each time. Any person, whether they will ever admit it or not, should be proud that you are their advocate. Your dad is damn lucky you are your his daughter. He might not say it but I will. So there.
Red hair, eh? Send a pic sounds great! Oh BTW 40 is a damn good age, thank you very much. I am 45 going on 28. I pegged you for 25, in case you care.
Regarding her kids I already got a positive email back - they are adults, 25 & 30. I told them I wanted to deal with all this professionally (and without drama) and I got a positive response.
I just ordered $50 worth of pizza and wings. Sue me. My way of coping.
Back to the movies!
Tugig!
it’s not my employer who denied it - it’s the insurance company
That’s a lot of pizza and wings - I’m getting heartburn just thinking about it! :eek:
I’ve got one pot on the stove with broth and chickie chunks and another with a chickie carcass boiling away to make more broth. In about half an hour, I’m going to do the N.O.T. and carrots and celery, mix them with the chickie and broth, and continue to simmer them a bit so they’ll be mostly cooked when I toss them into the casserole. That way, I just need to bake it long enough to brown the crust.
Plus I’m showered (again) and sporting shorts and a t-shirt, since the temp has climbed into the upper 70s - more like May than March, for sure!
**Kanga **- Add my voice to the chorus of admiration of how you’re handling everything associated with your dad. He may not be aware or appreciative, but you’re doing the right and honorable thing and even if that’s your only reward, it’s a pretty good one.
It’s smelling chicken-y in here. Yum!
Pardon my impudence but So What!?!? Please speak to an expert for advice.
Remember no insurance company ever wants to give you money.
I’ve already been through 3 rounds of appeals
It’s like this - they say if I’m sick, I must get to the doctor. But “sick” for me can also mean unable to walk (severe arthritis in my lower back and my still-original-equipment knee; or it could mean intestinal distress so intense that I cannot be more than 3 steps from the euphamism for hours at a time. But they don’t understand “too sick to leave the house” therefore I have no proof I was actually sick. Even though they know I have a chronic progressive disease.
I’m done fighting
OK fair enough the last thing I want to be is the asshole who tells you to keep fighting when it’s obvious it’s not worth it.
I am truly sorry.
One thing I learned long ago life is not fair.
But it’s also not a reflection on you.
Sucky life bites all of us, trust me I know. Sorry you have been bitten.
Interestin’. Chikin pot pie is also on the menu at da cave. I made it up on Tuesday. All’s I gotta do is add the crust and bake.
gigity I know it sucks but it sounds like a chapter in your life that needs to be over.
{{{Rosie}}} I say fight it too but if you’re tired, then hire back vibes headed out to HR.
kanga check out the closet VA Hospital. A lot of 'em have AD wings for vets.
Gotta go get a chikin pot pie ready.
Laterz!
swampy, I think the closet VA hospitals went away when Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was abolished.
I cannot believe what strength he has. I cannot believe I’m still sitting in this chair, watching.
I had to read that a coupla’ times to get the joke.
Hey, Swampy. It is beginning to look like the VA is going to be our angel of mercy. Mom is extremely hesitant about it. I think she has visions of the VA back in the 70s and 80s when neglect and abuse were rampant. It’s my understanding that it’s gotten much better, especially since there were so many vets needing treatment after the first Gulf War, and especially since people got so mad at the treatment Vietnam vets received.
Interestingly enough, technically, Dad is the veteran of three wars. He signed up for the Navy in July of 1945 and was in basic training when Japan surrendered. He served through Korea and Vietnam, doing tours in both.
Mmph.
Bro just got home and tells me that Dad is standing in the driveway (he got out without me hearing him, which is a first). When bro asked him if he was okay, Dad’s response was “If despair is okay, then I’m okay.” So, he’s coherent and present, but suffering. (There’s a very small, incredibly snarky voice in my head saying ‘oh, so, you didn’t want a hamburger for lunch.’ I’d tell it to shut up, but I need all the humor that I can get.) He’ll get half a Xanax in his afternoon meds, which should help.
And thank you guys. The love and support you give helps more than you’ll ever know.
It obviously runs in the family. Peace and more strength to you and your family.