A man walks in to a bar and orders 10 shots of 30 year old scotch.
The barkeep lines them up and the guy starts knocking them back in quick succession.
The bartender says" Woah, you should go easy on that, it’s the good stuff!"
Guy: “If you had what I do, you’d drink like this too!”
Barkeep: says sympathetically,“What do you have?”
Guy: finishes last shot, “Fifty cents.”
Later that evening,
Guy walks in and orders 5 shots of tequila. Barkeep says “Celebrating something?”
Guy: “My first blowjob.”
Barkeep: “Hey, for that I’ll buy you one, too!”
Guy: “No thanks, if five won’t get the taste out, six won’t either…”
They’re both well-established memes. Whenever you mention the mind-controlling amphibian the shtick is that you don’t get to the end of the sentence without robotically intoning your devotion to him, and with the other guy the trouble is that if you say his name he kidnaps you before you finish what you are saying. So of course it is impossible to mention both Candlejack and the Hypno-Toad withALL GLORY TO THE HY
Why isn’t it safe to go in the forest between 4 and 6 pm?
Because the elephants are jumping out of the trees.
Why do alligators have flat noses?
Because they were in the forest between 4 and 6 pm.
Why do beavers have flat tails?
Beavers run faster than alligators.
How do you tell an elephant in a crowd?
They talk funny.
How do you tell when an elephant has been in the refrigerator?
They leave footprints in the cheesecake.
How do you put 4 elephants in a volkswagen (beetle era, this was)
2 in front, 2 in back.
