A piece of string walks into the bar and jumps onto a stool. “Give me a beer” “Get out of here we don’t serve string in here.” So he dropped down and went on down the street, entered another bar and asked for a beer. "Get out we don’t serve drinks to string in here. So he went on down the street. Saw an alley and stepped in and tied himself into a knot. Then he reached up and frayed the top. Down the street and into a bar. “Give me a beer.” “Are you a piece of string?” “No I’m a frayed Knot!”
My sister who is now 55 has Down’s Syndrome. One of the only jokes she tells and finds funny is being in a restaurant or store and seeing the Open sign from the other side and saying “We cannot go out side because, look it is closed out there!”
I don’t get it. Shouldn’t that help him find his way out if he’s dyslexic?
But some really sucked. I remember “who conquered the world?”–“Alexander the Grape” (and it was NOT “who’s purple and conquered the world?”, or anything like that. Either that or it was, and I just don’t remember correctly).
A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. The bartender says “But I thought you didn’t like whiskey.”
The man says
“I’ve just had a heart transplant. I guess I had a change of heart.”
Read the entire joke backwards.
I just learned my great-grandfather died in the Holocaust.
He fell out of a guard tower.
EXIT daer sngis eth lla esuaceb tuo yaw sih dnif t’ndluoc eh sdne irf ym dlot I .cinilc a no tup ot bulc miws lacol a ot emac sinaguoL gerG.
.cixelsyd s’eH
Nope. Still don’t get it.
What a coincidence, my great-grandfather also died in the Holocaust!
He was walking beneath a tower when another guard fell on top of him.
Because seven eight nine?
What do you call two guys with no arms or legs fastened to the wall, holding up some drapes?
Kurt ‘n’ Rod.
We had a similar thread more recently than 2005, because I recall contributing this:
Man walks into a psychiatrist’s office naked, his body covered only in cellophane.
The psychiatrist tells him, “It’s quite evident to me that you suffer from a mental disorder!”
“…and what’s more, your testicles are quite visible to all and sundry!”
Sundray, Mondray, and alrays! 
Why did the M&M go to school?
Because he wanted to be a Smartie.
Thanks for handling that chore. I wasn’t looking forward to it.
Madam, I’m Adam.
How do they fill the pool in Olympiapark (Munich)?
Mark Spitz.
Either you have a much more advanced sense of humour than me, or your computer has a virus! Explain?
Dammit, I’m mad!