The thread of advice.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This thread is dedicated to various lessons that life has taught you first-hand.

  • Before you leave, check that your door is locked.

  • Before your door is locked, check that you have the keys.

  • When talking to a principal about a fight one was just in, do not joke about one’s psychologist.

  • If one wishes to cuddle with one’s Significant Other, remove all miscellaneous garments from the floor, because anyone who walks in and sees a pile of clothes on the floor will not stop to notice that both you and your Other are wearing everything.

  • Never, ever, ever, ever volunteer.

  • Asking for directions can make you feel stupid, but not asking for directions will make you feel geometrically stupider.

  • Bring extra batteries.

  • Rub her feet. Rub her back. In fact, grabbing a random bit and stroking it is a surprisingly effective way to show your affection.

  • Unpleasant truths stink. Unpleasant truths surrounded by the anaerobic enviornment of lies rot and fill with botulism. Let the stink air.

Who else has advice to share?

2

Don’t get windshield washer fluid on your gloves in Minnesota in winter.

3

Do not attempt to drink glass of water while cat is in the same room

Neither shalt thou try to drink glass of milk

DO not answer telephone to mother or brother unless absolutely sure you want to be stuck there, missing the news, missing the SDMB, missing the blooming second coming of the INvisible Pink Unicorn, for all I know.

DO not sit addicted to the SDMB when your real plan is to go out and buy unhealthy food

More later! :slight_smile:

4

Check your flies.
Check your mosquitos too.

5

First pants, then shoes.

6

Do not drink glasses of green liquid you find under your bed in the morning.

7

Always know an alternate route to work.

Always have a good excuse…:wink:

8

Living well is the best revenge. Truly. :slight_smile:

9

Just remembered an oft used one by a friend of mine - Never eat yellow snow.

10

Do not let the dog jump on your bare legs after she’s just gotten her nails cut. Ouch!

When they need a volunteer and no one is volunteering…run!

Never wear shoes that give you blisters when you’re going to be doing a lot of walking- no matter how cute they look. (Why oh why can’t I learn this one?)

11

Doing two hours a week of volunteer work for a worthy cause will do a world of good.

12

Always knew the quickest way to the restroom.

Roll up the windows when you get out of the car for the last time of the day.

When living in a dorm or apartment building with thin walls, buy headphones for your television.

Shake out your shoes before you put them on.

13

Cursing inanimate objects is good for the soul.

14

socks. then shoes.

15

Every time you go to the movies, before you sit down, look for the exits and point them out to whoever you’re with.

Keep a camera in your car with you in case of a car accident, either yours or someone else’s.

When fall hits, put a gallon of water and a heavy blanket in the car. It’s also good to have a big flashlight in your car at all times.

16

Do not call her.
Tyler Do’Urden, I like your username.

17

No feet? Forget the damn socks and shoes.

18

Don’t put pets in the microwave to dry