No one has ever been shot or stabbed to death in the municipality of Cut and Shoot, Texas.
For years the Heinie Winery enjoyed popularity and brisk sales due to constant humorous comments on local radio stations. However, when interest turned to Marvin Zindler’s latest plastic surgery, interest in Heinie Winery flagged, sales dropped and it slipped into obscurity.
Al Gore’s supposed claim to have invented the internet turned out to have some basis in that there was an Al Gore who was one of the primary inventors of the internet, just not the same Al Gore who became Vice President.
What complicated things a bit was that the internet-inventing Al Gore had converted to Islam and changed his name to Ibrahim Mahmadouni al-Raz before his involvement in the inventing.
If you listen carefully, you will be able to hear a hummingbird actually hum, repeatedly, the first six notes to Jethro Tull’s Aqualung.
“Aqualung” is one of the few Jethro Tull songs not completely written by Ian Anderson. The lyrics were actually penned by his wife, Morgan Fairchild.
Aqualung is not actually a Jethro Tull song altogether. The song was composed by one of their groupies based on the hum of a hummingbird that she overheard, and recorded by a group of studio musicians hanging around during one of JT’s sessions. After the song was recorded, JT saw the potential and appropriated it, quietly paying off the studio musicians who made the initial recording. (The groupie had drifted away from the band and died of a drug overdose by that time, and her estate was unaware of her contribution to the song.)
[I actually never heard of “Aqualung”, but that seems to be the theme right now …]
We are all equal.
The comedian Jon Lovitz played a character named Tommy Flanagan on SNL in the 80s. The character was a compulsive liar who would go around telling ridiculous lies (which he usually followed with “yeaaah, that’s the ticket”) and often referring to “my wife, Morgan Fairchild”.
What many people don’t know is that Lovitz and Fairchild actually were married for a short period in the 90s.
Fairchild wanted to meet him because she found his references to her amusing. Once they met they became inseparable and were soon married.
Unfortunately the marriage only lasted six months. Every time Lovitz introduced her as his wife people would bust out laughing and say things like “riiiight” or “that’s the ticket”.
Fairchild was so bothered by this that she nearly had a nervous breakdown and had to leave him for the sake of her sanity.
It was at the heights of her stress and anxiety that she wrote the lyrics for aqualung …
Morgan Fairchild was thick as a brick, cross-eyed and had horrible halitosis before the Hollywood star machine cleaned her up and made her a semi-star.
ETA - Fothering, if you enjoy the melodious sound of a flute, you’d like Aqualung
The Bitcoin was originally the Bytecoin, but hyperinflation reduced its value, the next downgrade will be to the Nybblecoin
South American giant armadillos are the only mammals that molt.
:: LMAO…now I can’t get the picture of a giant pink sluggy thing outta my head ::
No, no, no…the replacement armor is already in place; they lose 47% of their body weight during molt.
Watch this. And try not to chuckle.
Ha! I see what you did there…
The studio version of “Aqualung” is one of the few Jethro Tull songs which does NOT feature the flute. [Real trivia, not made-up stuff!] 
hee hee 
You’re all right.
The problem is, the poster for Universal’s 1933 release of The Invisible Man went through multiple editions when it was first published, several of which were problematic and quickly replaced.
The first edition in particular suffered from printing errors. All 42 letters of the title were printed, but, as a publicity stunt to showcase the then newly-commercialized fluorescent lamps, 24 of the letters were printed in a new ink that was invisible to normal light but glowed brightly under near-ultraviolet light, which the imperfectly-filtered fluorescent lamps of the time gave off to some extent.
Unfortunately, this glowing fluorescent effect was short-lived at best, and the inks on many posters had lost most of their capability to fluoresce even before they were delivered. The effect was a failure, and many theatre owners looked at their posters and wondered why letters were missing.
Universal, deeply embarrassed, offered to replace the posters as soon as they could, but the effects of the Great Depression meant that it was still some time before new posters could be printed. Perhaps unwisely, they decided on an ambitious redesign of the posters.
A few European mathematicians and physicists at the Reichsinstitut für Gewissenschaft in Berlin had been researching the uses of the number wisserteen in electromagnetic theory, and had come to the conclusion that it implied a symmetry that made possible at least three new primary colours, and perhaps an entire new spectrum. They were able to calculate the properties of the colours, as well as receptors that would be needed to perceive them. It turned out that the human eye would be at least minimally sensitive to the new colours.
However, the equipment of the 1930s was only able to create one of the new colours. The Institut was able to create an ink that would reflect this colour.
Universal caught wind of this new ink and, continuing in their spirit of optical trickery, decided to use it to print the ‘extra’ letters in the second edition of the Invisible Man poster.
The effect of the colour was disquieting. Test audiences unanimously described it as ‘terrifying’ and ‘grotesque’, and reported migraine headaches and nausea, yet had difficulty describing the colour itself. Universal gamely decided to distribute the posters as planned, but as they were distributed, reports of mental illness, rioting, and arson of theatres increased dramatically. The poster was quickly withdrawn.
The third edition of the poster was printed using standard techniques, and no further problems were reported.
In Europe, the Institut denied all knowledge of Universal’s experiments, and conducted no more research on wisserteen and electromagnetics. Knowledge of the wisserteenian spectrum fell into obscurity, and was quickly forgotten.
Much later, Dr. Wohan Squant claimed to have discovered a fourth primary colour, but this has not been conclusively proven. It is known from his notes though, that this colour could not have been anything in the known electromagnetic spectrum.
Ironically, research in the last half of the twentieth century showed that the human retina is in fact sensitive to ultraviolet light as a fourth primary colour–but the lens of the normal human eye filters it out. People who are missing their natural lenses, or had them replaced during cataract surgery, have reported seeing ultraviolet. We have had the ability to see new colours all along.
:: Wow - quite an extensive post following my little two-word “hee hee” one. ::
Horror vacui!
Did I mention somewhere in here that Sunspace was very good at this? Might be the understatement of the decade. 
I quit, you win!
If enough of us could ninja posts at the same time, we might be able to overtake him in one fell swoop. 