I miss sports night 
Sit Ubu, sit.
“No yak too dirty, no dumpster too hollow.”
-the GNOME fish
I believe this interpretive dance will express how I feel about our relationship.
-Matt Groening
“You are now pregnant with my love child…it’s part of the dance!”
“Grapeshot Catapult deals 1 damage to target creatures with flying”
----- some Magic: The Gathering card I found on the sidewalk yesterday.
“If 17 were my magic number, I would give it to you in a box.”
-----Possum Dixon
What’s bizarre is how many people have viewed this thread without posting.
Right now it’s 2500 views to 250 posts (approx.).
What’s the matter? Afraid of straying off-topic?
“This is stupid” - Sam Quentin
“Drivers go to front of the building.
No rapping.”
Sign on my office’s side door. I keep seeing truckers scratch-mixing hot beatz.
“The white zone is for loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no parking in the white zone.”
Just trying to contribute to the thread. 
My baby does the hanky-panky.
"** Australian Balm Mint, when blended with our unique formula, helps mend split ends and heal roughened cuticles.
Salon Directions:** Work conditioner through clean, damp hair and leave on 1-3 minutes depending upon extent of distress. Rinse with warm water. For extra shine, follow with a cool-water rinse. Use daily or as often as needed. Great for permed or color-treated hair."
–My bottle of Aussie 3-Minute Miracle.
Not long to go 'till I get to 120. Woo-hoo!!
(Hey–some of us are blessed with easily accomplished goals in life.)
I have the following essential oils: cinnamon, anise seed, orange, sandalwood, and wintergreen.
I have the following perfume-grade oils: African vanila, amber, and ambergris.
I keep meaning to make my own perfume, but somehow I never quite get around to it.
Ha! And I’m now at 120! (That’s “one hundred twenty, exclamation point,” not "one hundred twenty, factorial.) Yay!
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
The point of quotations is that one can use another’s words to be insulting.
Amanda Cross
In America, sex is an obsession; in other parts of the world it’s a fact.
Marlene Dietrich
I’m furious about the Women’s Liberationists. They keep getting up on soapboxes and proclaiming that women are brighter than men. That’s true, but it should be kept quiet or it ruins the whole racket.
Anita Loos
Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their pedestals.
Agnes Repplier
I thought I told you to wait in the car.
Tallulah Bankhead, on seeing a former lover for the first time in years
There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
Dorthy Parker
“Greg, honey? Is it supposed to be this soft?” - Babs Jensen
Bump.
(hehe)