The time Blackeyes frowned, and what he would have liked to have said

The BBQ Pit
1

SHUT UP, YOU WORTHLESS FUCKING FUCK OF A NO GOOD FUCKLESS SHIT-SUCKING FUCK!

GO TO FUCKING HELL, SHITBAG, YOU DIE NOW!

OG SMASH YOU! OG SMASH!

PILE OF FUCKING DRECK FAILED ABORTION POOR EXCUSE FOR A POOR EXCUSE OF A SHIT MOTHER FUCKING DUMBASS! YOU CHEAP, INCONSIDERATELY RUDE BASTARD I HOPE YOU BURN IN FUCKING HELL! YOU HEAR ME, YOU SHITSQUEALING POTLICKING SCUMBAG! JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE A FUCKQuAT BASTARD SHITWHORE!

I SURE AS FUCKING HELL HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE FUCKINGLY SIMILAR TO THE MANNER OF SHIT FUCKING SHIT YOU ARE!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HALLELUJAH! SHIT!

2

So how’s the weather?

3

I sense that you are upset.

4

I think you’re reading between the lines, Mr. Blue Sky.

5

C’mon, Blackeyes], don’t hold back! Tell us how you really feel!

6

That’s really a poor way to talk to the Salvation Army bell-ringer.

7

Very nice OP. It’s almost modernist in its fury, bravely refusing to be constrained in by the personal, political, and social elements that contextualize, and therefore diminish, so many other promising rants. This is a fine declaration of universal rage, and I like it very much.

8

Mom?

9

This thread has been rated TV-MA for Nudity and Strong Sexual Content.

10

I thought I had the right to be a FUCKQuAT BASTARD SHITWHORE. Who are you to tell me what kind of bastard I can be? Humph.

11

I’m glad that you didn’t say those horrible things to the nice parole officer.

12

Transvestite Methodist Alliance?

13

Nudity? I didn’t see any nudity.

Is this like one of those movies on late night cable that I watch just because the warning says there’s nudity, only to find out that the warning refers to a five-second shot of somebody’s ass between the time they get out of bed and the time they grab their pants?

Very nice use of coding and language in the OP. Expressive while maintaining a sense of brilliantly unspecific rage, with a tantalizingly surreal final line.

14

::enters with a group of residents::

We see here the results of the placebo study group. Note the poor posture, foaming at the mouth, the scratch marks on the door from the participant’s repeated attempts at escape. Now, students, what can we conclude from this sample?

:: green student raises hand ::

Yes?

“Um, Doctor, it looks like the participant is ready to— AAAAAAUGH!”

::the sound of many hurried footsteps is heard as the participant latches onto the neck of said green student and …::

Er, this was a TV-MA rating? Drat. Guess I can’t continue.

15

Boy, this is one of those generic rants when you just have to wonder, what the heck sparked this?

And matt_mcl, you might be onto something there. My Methodist friend had a grand 'ol time attending a drag show for the first time a couple nights back. Maybe the TV community and the Methodists have a link to forge.

16

Look, Blackeyes, I’m sorry, man.
I didn’t know it was your toothbrush. Honest.

17

Woah, this is the only thread I’ve ever opened that made me stagger back in fright. Big Bold Red Letters=Wearia needs a change of underpants.

18

UNDERPANTS!

19

Underpants? No, it loses that certain sense of poetry, somehow. I’m more a fan of the great cry:

KNICKERS!

:smiley:

20

The OP makes the baby Jesus wet his diaper.

Me too.