Fiance, not finacee. Sorry.
I, too, am 19 years old and still a virgin, and don’t find much of a lack in my life.
Imagine how bizarre I’d be if I did get laid. I think the world might crack in half.
And lee, how do you almost get smothered by your breasts?
DIANE!!! WHO??? :eek:
18 year old female virgin checking in here.
Far too easily.
I was in bed naked and had tossed and turned alot that night. As i recall it was rather warm and i was mainly covered by a sheet. It was a new apartment and a new bed and the thermostat was too high so i was slightly sweaty. My fiance had already gotten out of bed and i rolled over. I rolled such that i half fell out of bed. The sheet was wrapped so that my arms were pinned to my sides and my breasts were free. The damp for the sweat made the sheets really stick in place. I was face up dangling out of a high bed and my breast fell so that it covered my face. I could not rock side to side or arch my back or even move my head enough to breathe. I was doing my best to squirm free but not getting far. I could not sit up in that position and i could not roll because of how the sheets were. My fiance wandered in and pushed back my breast at which point i cried out. It startled him so he then dropped it back in place. He watched me squirm for a bit trying to figure out if it was a game and then moved my breast again. I yelled for help and he finally got a clue and freed me.
I’ve had sex only 3 times. Same night, same girl. Never saw her before or since. Friend of my brother’s GF. This was a year and a half ago. Lost my virginity that night, and haven’t even been sexual with another girl since. I wish I had called her back.
–Tim
Let’s just say that you (and anyone else from the old board) would recognize his screen name if I posted it, we did it more than once, and he was veeeeeeeery nasty. 
One time in bed, while taking my jeans off, my knee came out of the pants a little too quickly, hitting my then-girlfriend in the jaw and knocking her out.
Sua
Any hints???
Oh and by the way, ya’ll are a bunch of SICK MOTHERFU*KERS!!!
I haven’t shaved my armpits in 5 days.
My feet smell weird. (I attribute this to throwing on my shoes without socks this afternoon)
About a week ago… my roomie made me tuna sandwiches for lunch… I came home to eat… and avoided the crusts of the sandwiches until all but one half of the last sandwich was gone (There were two sandwiches, both cut in half). I then tried to eat a piece of crust… chewed it for awhile, decided it was gross… spit it out while my roomie was talking to me about a video game, held it in my hand for awhile… then, being too lazy to go throw it away, and not wanting to put it on my place where Id have to look at it. I stuck it in the middle of the remaining half of a sandwich.
The next time I saw the sandwich, my roomie was just finishing up the last few bites. I told him what I did, but he didnt seem to care.
Sorry Malkavia, I can top your dagger. I once masturbated with a nine milimeter handgun.
I made over 50k from Janurary to July 1996 working as a call girl.
At the age of 22 I was arrested and charged with embezzlement. After an arrangement, all the charges were dropped.
Every speeding ticket I’ve ever gotten has been for going at least 20 mph over the speed limit and the last one was for 34 over (89 in a 55) but I was really going ~110 and the cop gave me a break.
I once came in third place in a Beer Triathlon but managed the best crowd pleasing moment when, on about the 7th lap, I booted exorcist-style, while running through the ocean, with the wind in my face.
cheers lola Thats what Im talkin about. =) Was it loaded? Yeesh… Can you imagine the medical examiner trying to explain that one to distraught family members?
So I have these debts… how they hell does one break into the call girl business? grin
** Like I’d NOT post to this thread? **
I’m what’s known as a “squirter”. When I have a intense orgasm,I squirt. Of course before then I’m usually wet enough to soak through the sheets anyway…
I’ve had phone sex,well cell phone sex,at my job. Once in my friend Robin’s car,twice in my friend Brett’s car and twice in the cornfield by the parking lot. I left my panties in the field. 
And every time it was great,multiorgasmic,trying not to howl too loud,walking back into work with shaky legs and a smile sex.
Sorry, nothing new to add. I just wanted to say I have laughed the whole time I’m rereading it.
:snicker:
Y’know, I once stuck a toothbrush…
Oh, wait, I already posted that story, didn’t I? Damn, this thread’s old!!
My TMI story cannot hold a candle to you folks. In fact, I wouldn’t want to hold that candle, considering what some of you might do with it.
My story concerns a cigar. Let me be honest upfront and admit that there is absolutely nothing sexual done with this cigar. As you can see, I’m not trying to grab the brass ring here. I wouldn’t want to grab that brass ring, considering what some of you might have used it for …
Anyway, I don’t smoke a lot of cigars, just one or two a week while walking the dog or after hiking. I ordered one batch of cigars from a newspaper ad offer a lower-priced sample pack. I won’t mention the brand for fear of getting sued, but the initials are L.M.
So I fired one up and took the dog for a walk. After a while I hear this odd popping sound. I thought perhaps my ears were doing funny things. I took the cigar out of my mouth and yawned (to equalize pressure). The popping stopped. Took a puff on the cigar and there was that sound again.
Like this for several minutes.
Then I realize my cigar is popping and sizzling.
I look at the fiery tip. Something is oozing out of my cigar. A yellowish substance, very much like pus.
I stripped the binder off and discover a small mass of pus-like substance in the leaves of the cigar. The heat has caused it to liquefy, sizzle and pop. It bubbled and oozed much like a running sore. And it was in a cigar (at the far end of the cigar, thank God) that I had just had in my mouth.
I examine it closely, hoping that this is not the type of thing that might have once possessed a nervous system or come from a mucous membrane.
I hope – I really hope – that what I saw was merely a bit of plant resin, or that it possibly was a clump of the glue used to secure the cap of the cigar. Perhaps a large clump of the glue fell in while it was being rolled.
All in all, this was a very healty experience for me. I didn’t smoke another cigar for months.
I cannot use tampons. For some reason, they just don’t go in. I’ve tried several times, most notably in the school swimming locker room while screaming, “Kelly! It’s not going in! I don’t even think I have the right hole!”
I have long, in-depth conversations about menstruation with anyone who’ll listen.
The brown stuff that comes out when your period is almost over (I hope this happens to all girls…) smells really weird. Don’t smell it.
I have a pair of underwear that freaking pulls pubic hairs out. It’s weird. Pull them down and see all that hair caught in the undies. Yeesh.
My grandparents have a house on a lake in Michigan and my family and I gather there often on summer weekends. When I was much younger (4? 5? I dunno) I enjoyed riding on the innertube. We did not have a fancy tube that you rode in, however, it was a generic black rubber tube. Anyways, I rode on this tube one day… with my dad on top of me, and my uncle on top of my dad. (Hmm, this sounds like TMI already :p) “This is fun.”
Five minutes later… “Ow. This hurts. Ah. Stop the boat. Stop the boat. Stop the boat.”
My poor little penis was battered by the water through my swimming trunks. Apparently the weight of my dad and uncle on top had pushed my crotch into contact with the very surface of the water as the boat went along at 20+ MPH. I had crotch-road-rash. I don’t really remember it, but my parents have said my penis was swollen to something like twice it’s normal size. He thought he had ruined my genitals for life. :eek: In the hospital, however, doctors were able to confirm there was no permanent damage.
- Rob
God knows why I looked at this thread, but I did.
First reply, magdalene, makes reference to a Dopefest.
Please tell me it means that you things, whatever you are, actually make physical contact with each other.
I may have a reason to live.
And I’ll listen. The topic of menstruation, strangely, fascinates me.
The solution’s obvious (or, at least, it should be): Shave your pubes. Duh.