That’s what he doesn’t do, tho, as I pointed out.
This:
Bingo. Though he was wise enough to not resist the cops in any way, during his cuffing and a few seconds following, you can tell from the look on his face that he’s dismayed and forlorn.
Is this a real quote or did you write a parody of Trump. I can’t find this speech online but I will assume it is real. I wish I had words. "we’re going to cure our aides…my speech that night, one of the greatest speeches…the fake fire marshalls… very unfair!.
Is this the real fucking world?
I have posted before that I would stop watching the news about Trump and reading this thread. Not working so far. I want to see the motherfucker go down, but I just don’t think it is going to happen. I have seen confident posts on this board saying that the Mueller report would find him guilty of collusion and that Ivanka and Kushner would be indicted. Didn’t happen. Then, surely NY state would indict in the Stormy Daniels thing. Didn’t happen. Oh but surely, his tax returns will be released. A judge just blocked that. I have seen confident posts on this board, and elsewhere that Trump feels he must be re-elected because when he leaves office he will go to jail
This fucking human scum who has done noting in his entire life but use people and steal from them will not pay for it. I’ll take the word of some poster who I can’t remember who said, months ago- He is going to get away with it, again!
Nah, it’s a parody. Smatpi has the rather dubious gift of being able to write like trump.
Not that that invalidates any of your ranting, as, while it was a parody, it wasn’t far from the truth.
You scare me.
It’s all fun and games until Smapti gets The Fateful Phone Call: “Hello, Mr… Smap? The President’s been ‘Browsin’ The Dope’ as he puts it, and, well, he’s wondering if you’d like to write for him. $5000 per tweet if you’re interested…”
Get paid up front.
Cash.
Smatpi will you marry me? 57 year old white guy with a beer gut. But I got a full head of beautiful hair, you’ve never seen hair like this. And my hands, guitar player hands in proportion to other parts of my body.
It’s honestly not that hard. He has a simple mind, and he’s a lot simpler to emulate than many other people. It just takes paying attention to his verbal tics and habits, such as;
- He uses “we” to mean “I”
- He often creates stories where people call him, unsolicited, to ask for advice or offer praise
- He often creates stories where groups of “tough” men are “in tears” and are thanking him for saving them
- In both these narratives, the speakers always address him as “sir”, “Mr. Trump”, or “Mr. President”
- He uses adjectives as nouns, often preceded by an article (“the nuclear”, “the cyber”, etc.)
- He is fond of superlatives such as “great” or “incredible” when describing people who praise him, usually paired with a qualifier such as “in terms of” or “from the standpoint of”
- He frequently refers to things in superlatives such as “like nobody’s ever seen” or “bigger than ever before” or “more than you could believe”
- When he encounters a word he knows in a context which is unfamiliar to him, he tries to force it into the context he’s aware of, e.g. “Hillary bleached her emails with a very expensive chemical”, “they scrub the coal”, “they rake the forests”
- When reading from a Teleprompter, he’ll encounter an idea or a name he was previously unfamiliar with and will break script to comment on it, e.g. “incredible names” or “so true”
- “Difficult” words are often written phonetically (in parentheses) on his Teleprompter and he’ll read them out very carefully after initially mispronouncing them
- Anyone or anything that is critical or negative to him is “fake”, “unfair”, or both
- If the opportunity exists to jab at Obama, he will take it
- He dodges saying anything of substance by saying that an announcement will be made soon, or that surprising things are coming, or “we’ll see what happens”
"I don’t have time to browse the Dope. I have a great relationship with Cecil Adams, one of the greatest relationships, I know more about Straight Dope than anyone who’s lived, but I don’t have time, I’m tremendously busy making America great again. But many of the people there are the worst people. They’re very unfair to me and our country, they say some of the nastiest things we’ve ever heard. They’ve been having very bad ratings lately, and we’re going to be looking very strongly at their licenses.
Smapti is a man I know nothing about. He’s done very little for us. I gave him a chance because many people said he deserved one. He’s said some of the nastiest things about me, worse things than have ever been said about any president, including the great Abraham Lincoln, who I’ve heard had many terrible things said about him. They never treated Lincoln as unfairly as they treated Donald Trump. It’s a terrible situation, when no president has ever been better to Smapti than Trump has, that he doesn’t say “Thank you, Mr. President!”. Very ungrateful, very sad, but I’m president and he’s not."
The good news is that the SDMB is made up of nothing but written words, Trump wouldn’t give it a second glance. If he somehow made it to the main forum page he’d think he was looking at the whole thing.
To avoid a potentially explosive scandal when the U.S. President goes into a coma, an affable temp agency owner with an uncanny resemblance is put in his place.
Hope you don’t look like him too, Smatpi ;).
Not at all, thank Jeebus.
I’ve had multiple coworkers and customers tell me I bear an uncanny resemblance to Ted Cruz, but fortunately since he grew his beard out the comparisons have stopped coming.
You may want to make it Euros. Or CHF.
My condolences.
In Texas, those are “fahhtin’ words”.
Y’know, your coworkers were hoping you’d throw a punch, so they could go home and start collecting Workers’ Comp.
“Grew it out”? Are you sure? Because I swear I can see a glueline in every shot.
I honestly find it amusing more than anything, since anyone who knows me knows I’m nothing like Cruz.
My locker in the breakroom has this sticker on it in lieu of my name.
make sure the ink is dry -