Well, he is a world leader in the category of Unintentionally Sexually Charged Stationary Dancing. His “Jerking off two guys at once” move will revolutionize dance everywhere!
I know the thing where he told the reporter she couldn’t pass the cognitive test he ‘aced’ is already two days old, so it’s already been supplanted by a buttload of other craziness, but I can’t believe he is still using that line. Has no one told him how stupid he sounds when he constantly brags about that? I wish the reporter had said something like “Mr. President, you took a test to see whether you had dementia, not an IQ test. Anybody who is of normal intelligence and does not yet have dementia is supposed to pass it easily. The fact you were given the test at all is a sign of concern, not of pride”.
I say and not for the first time that I would like to see him drawing a watch and tying his own shoes. On people, man, woman, TV, camera.
Because a Democrat might raise taxes.
The fat fuck can’t even spell YMCA!
Also, I’m pretty sure it’s been mentioned elsewhere, but at yesterday’s cabinet meeting, the nameplate in front of Kegbreath read ‘SSECRETARY OF WAR’
Which begs the question: why in the everlasting fuck do they need nameplates in front of each cabinet member? Don’t they know each other?
Most of them do. The one who also needs to have his name written on his shirt, hat and table place needs constant reminding though.
Dumb-ass typo, or coded reference to ’ Schutzstaffel’?
These aren’t real cabinet meetings. They’re Potemkin Meetings, meant for consumption by the unwashed masses, to make it look like Trump is in charge, and everything is under control. So they need nameplates so the cretins watching can keep track of the players. Like at an old-timey baseball game, “You Can’t Keep Track of the Players Without a Scorecard!”
He shoots the messenger.
Most of the sycophants he’s surrounded by wouldn’t think of contradicting him and the few who are smart enough to know better are just smart enough not to commit career suicide by telling him he sounds stupid.
Yeah, I know the answer is ‘because he’s surrounded by toadying sycophants’ and the way I phrased my question " Has no one told him how stupid he sounds…" was not realistic. Of course no one in his inner circle would tell him he sounds ‘stupid’ (except maybe Melania, but I doubt she gives enough of a shit to give him any advice at this point).
But I would have thought somebody by now would have gently, timidly said to him “sir-- that test you took was a dementia test, not an IQ test. With all due respect, however well you did on it, and you certainly aced it, you might not want to keep mentioning the test in public”.
What phone does he have? I assume an iPhone, because that keeps American Intellectual Property Great Again, but an Android would be easier to completely secure and yet way cheaper.. and if nothing else, Trump is cheap.
(Yeah, I know iPhones are not built in America, just “designed in California”)
If anyone had, how do you think Trump would respond? He wouldn’t even let them finish the sentence.
“Sir-- that test you took was a dementia test, not an IQ test…"
“No, you’re wrong! Are you a stupid person? You couldn’t have passed this test, let alone “Aced” it! No, shut up piggy, I’m talking now, who even let this stupid person in here? Who do you work for? Get this stupid piggy faced moron out of here!”
Yep, that’s most likely how it would’ve went down. I stand corrected 
Well, the plaque with the 24k gold base that Tim ‘Apple’ presented to trump, quote, “with trembling hands” was made in the USA, so that’s probably close enough for trump.
Trunt’s cabinet meetings are just live-action remakes of this South Park classic:
You would think so, but no, it’s apparently the brainchild of FIFA president (and friend of Trump) Gianni Infantino. As noted, it is clearly, 100%, an attempt to kiss Trump’s ass.
He’s apparently been an iPhone user for a while.
Given the FIFA tolerance of corruption (yeah, South Africa 2010) that makes a fair enough of sense.
We still have a massive white elephant stadium that nobody wanted, built on public land, urban greenbelt space at vast cost but also large amounts of “investment” by our fairly easily corruptible government.. we are not too far behind Trump.
At best, it increased the services - public parking - and in reality did nothing but limit areas where dogs could do a shit.
Also we have to pay for parking.
They didn’t even open the package the House dropped on their desk despite being scared shitless by their constituents the week before.
You call Sepp Blatter corrupt? You ain’t seen nothing yet. Russia first, then Qatar was just warming up for Mafiantino. The real action is about to begin.
David Squires, in The Guardian, of course nails it every time: