Great post, picker! 
Since I suggested “100 Smurfs overdosing on Viagra”, I’ll pass on picking a winner between them and Screech…
Anyone?
The Enterprise clearly has the technological edge over an Imperial Star Destroyer, but a Star Destroyer is over a mile lo–
Oh. Wait.
Um.
100 Smurfs overdosing on Viagra. Definitely. Their sharp little smurf erections would cut Screech to pieces, hallucinations or not.
100 Smurfs overdosing on Viagra
vs.
an Imperial Star Destroyer
Given the orbital assault capabilities, I have to give this one to the Imperial Star Destroyer. The smurfs can wave their tiny little stiffies all they want, but their lack of ranged weaponry spells doom.
Next up:
An Imperial Star Destroyer
vs.
A Borg Cube
The Star Destroyer does not have a ‘Sleep’ function. A ‘one in a million’ shot is needed to destroy it.
Star Destroyer
vs.
Maxwell Smart with his wife 99.
You had to put in 99, didn’t you? Max isn’t much help, as he gets sidetracked when his shoe phone stops working due to all the metal in the Star Destroyer. 99, however, uses her feminine wiles to get into the control room and activate the self-destruct switch. She’s just irresistibly cute.
Maxwell Smart with his wife 99
vs.
Shub-Niggurath, Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young.
I call foul! It’s the Death Star that takes a one-in-a-million shot to destroy, not a mere Star Destroyer.
Oh, and as far as the current conflict goes:
Maxwell Smart can stun anyone, Shub-Niggurath included, with a quick karate chop to the base of the neck. However, 99 would see the Thousand Young and coo, “Oh, Max, aren’t they cute!”, thereby forcing Max to adopt all of them and paving the way for the Reign of the Black Goats of the Woods.
Shub-Niggurath, Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young
vs.
Hellboy