we’ve had our share of “Enterprise vs ISDs” and “Batman…if he’s prepared” threads, but which characters could you yourself take in a scrap?
I’m certain I could take Norman Bates on the street (not so sure if I’m naked in the shower ;)).
Cujo is one dead mutt.
The Cemetery Zombie from Night of the Living Dead…piece of cake.
The Boris Karloff Mummy? Can you say “Zippo”?
How 'bout you?
You know all those movies where the audience keeps yelling “why don’t you just SHOOT him!” I could totally shoot him.
In their prime, Keith, John, and Roger would totally kick my ass. Pete, I’m not so sure about. If he had a guitar in his hand he’d smack me right off the stage, but otherwise he was a little pipe-cleaner of a guy.
I’m pretty sure I could take Marvin the Paranoid Android from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
I’m pretty sure I could take the little possesed voodoo doll from the cult fave *Trilogy of Terror *as long as I could see it coming (like I wasn’t asleep or something) or otherwise incapacitated (injured or whatever). Also the possesed Krusty the Clown doll that was trying to kill Homer, and Mini-Me from the Austin Powers films. And the two shrunken evil scientists from Inner Space.
I lose. Doesn’t matter who’s after me, I curl up in a ball and cry for my mommy.
I could totally kick some Smurf ass. I never understood how Gargamel managed to fail to capture them every single time.
Tippy H. et al were idiots- I totally could’ve taken on those seagulls. Grab one of them by the legs, and use it to beat the crap out of the others. The sparrows may have been a bit more difficult, but that’s what they make flamethrowers for.
If you mean literally Doctor Who vs. me, and assuming I was evil, then… I dunno. Certainly putting a bullet through his head just to prove someone could do it would be great. But on the other hand there are two things: first, “who” would save the Earth from the scores of menaces that would have wiped us out a hundred times over without the Doctor? And I’m convinced that the Doctor has the Jedi Mind Trick, or Bugs Bunny’s ability to fast talk anyone for at least a minute or so. Somehow no one can ever actually pull the trigger until he’s sabotaged the doomsday machine and fled down the corridor. <sigh> Even granted regenerations, there’s a reason he’s lived for over nine hundred years.
Ok, so the Doctor-no. As for anyone else: hand-to-hand combat, forget it. If I had a baseball bat and they didn’t, sure. Handgun, sure, provided that I can get a clean shot and they’re vulnerable to bullets. So let’s see…
They’re Toast: Zap Brannigan, Duck Dodgers
Easy, unless they got lucky: zombie, Beavis and Butthead, Animal Rights protester
Somewhat challenging: Attack dog, teen punk
**Even or Tough Fight: ** Average Caribbean pirate, Killer Klown
I’d have to Be Prepared, and then ambush them or get lucky: Federal agent, Mafia hitman, Cylon Centurion, Jason Vorhees, standard vampire
I’m Toast: Jack Bauer, James Bond, Jason Bourne, ninja assassin, the Punisher, Batman
I’m a red smear on the ground: Terminator, Robocop, Xenomorph Alien, Wolverine
Chuck Norris fears me. 'Nuff said.
As long as we’re fighting rock stars, I could take Jimmy Page any day of the week.
I have an old Taurus with nearly 150,000 miles on it. I know '58 Plymouths (they are ALL possessed by demons). I could irk Christine into a race and last FAR longer than her before I ran out of gas or my engine exploded.
Oh! I’m pretty sure I could best Vizzini from *The Princess Bride *in a battle of wits.
I could take out Anton Chigurh.
I could probably take Elizabeth Bennet, but then Mr. Darcy would pull some strings and have me assassinated, so that’s right out.
Anyone tougher than a Regency heroine and I’m probably for it.
I could take Hannibal Lecter, largely because he counts on other persons either underestimating him or being outwitted. I’m going to assume that he’s planning something nefarious and brutal. If I’m a cop taking him into custody, I’m not just handcuffing him; I’m handcufffing him, breaking all his fingers, putting a hockey mask on him, and letting him know that even SPEAKING leads to his being shot in both knees.
Oh, he had conflicts of interest. He wanted them either to eat or to turn into gold. For the former they had to be fresh, so there was always a gap between the capture and the oven. For the latter they had to be alive, so there was always a gap between the capture and the cauldron.
God is in the gaps.
I could take the Man in Black.
I’ll even use my left hand.
And Neo only thinks he could beat me.
I could easily kill Vizzini.
Of course, the princess would be dead, too, but since she was not my True Love, I would probably get over it.