So how does Deathstalker compare with Cave Dwellers? I’ve only seen the latter.
Haven’t tried them yet. Plan to, eventually. Heard good things.
And Hypno : I’m a huge fan of Cave Dwellers, but I like Deathstalker better. I’m heavily biased, though.
**MST3K 7.04 - The Incredible Melting Man **
Space travel once again proves tragically unsafe at any speed as an astronaut is transformed into a strange, dripping creature with a hunger for human flesh. Our protagonist is a Doctor, tragically born without the ability to display emotion. He is burdened by a bland wife and a pushy military guy who wants to keep everything under wraps. The host segments deal with the Best Brains crew’s troubles in Hollywood making the movie. Hotchka!
Intro : Baseball on the SOL - Mike beaned. Crow’s ‘Earth vs. Soup’ is optioned. Host Segments : Script meeting devolves into Chaos; Crow directs a scene of his movie unintelligibly; the Focus Group doesn’t like the plot. Finale : Earth vs. Soup’s problems crash together and it implodes, released only as a trailer.
Signature Riffs:
<Crow> “Keith Moon, in the hospital!”
<Tom> “He’s bursting with flavor.”
<Crow> “They shrank me and I’m trapped on this huge log!”
<Mike> " I think his shampoo had the wrong pH."
<Tom> “The panelling is less wooden than her.”
(re : a bunch of hobos around a fire)
<Mike> “You always were a good judge of men, Deathstalker…”
<Crow> “Have you noticed how not a single power plant in a single movie has ever been locked, or inaccessible?”
MST3K 7.05 - Escape 2000
Leave the Bronx. Corporate marauders use brutal, murderous tactics to try and clear stragglers out of the Bronx to make way for urban renewal. Leave the Bronx. Our sort-of hero, Trash, is a renegade who inspires the locals to fight back - after he gets another hero to help him kidnap the evil CEO. Leave the Bronx. Don’t miss Nosferatu as the lady reporter.
Intro : Crow holds a charity auction - he’s not good at it. Dr. F puts Pearl in a home. (A tiny child playset home.) Host Segments : Mike uses biofeedback to help calm Crow, but it triggers his firestarter powers; Mens Night on the SOL; Ratings are low, so Dr. F briefly introduces a new child sidekick for the show. Finale : Tom arrives via helicopter; Mike appears as Toblerone from the movie.
Signature Riffs :
<Mike> “We gratefully acknowledge the Reynold’s Wrap corporation for donating the costumes.”
<Mike, with the music> “Workin’ on a Sex Farm…”
<Crow> “George Hamilton didn’t know when to stop tanning…”
<Reporter> “You fascist pig!”
<Tom> “A fascist Italian? Come on…”
<Tom> “Howard Stern, in : West Side Story.”
<Mike> “So, the hero of our movie has to go hire another hero.”
<Crow> “Jim Henson’s Chairman Mao Babies.”
MST3K 7.06 - Laserblast
Woo, boy. The last MST3K episode ever. On Comedy Central, that is. The sleepy-eyed blonde-haired hero is reminiscent of Star Wars, and I suspect Star Wars had a lot to do with getting this stinkburger greenlit. Leonard Maltin gives it two and a half stars, a fact with which Mike and the Bots take issue during the closing credits. The “hero” discovers an alien energy weapon and pretty much murders everyone he doesn’t like, then murders everyone else. Featuring Eddie Deezen, Keenan Wynn, and Roddy McDowall. The continuous ‘Mask’ riffs and the ‘Are You Ready for some Football?’ gags never get old.
Intro : Tom and Crow subdued Mike so they can deliver a horrible Thunderdome joke; Dr. F’s funding has been cut so he disconnects the umbilicus and sends the crew one final movie. Host Segments : The SOL, adrift, discovers the rogue satellite MONAD; the SOL encounters a field of starbabies, and Tom and Crow get to change a diaper; The SOL encounters a black hole, and Mike saves them by dressing up in drag as Captain Janeway. Finale : The SOL bumps up against the edge of the universe and the crew transform themselves into pure energy. In Deep 13, Dr. F has a 2001-style epilogue.
Signature Riffs:
<Tom> “Wow, the Hulk lost weight.”
<Crow> “Shaun Cassidy, in: Walking Tall.”
<Mike> “Now, on to movie three…”
<Mike, re two deputies> “Dirty. And Hairy.”
<Tom> “Meanwhile, on Quark…”
<Mike> “When the movie starts showing you parts of itself, you know you’re in trouble.”
<Crow> “Yes, it’s a Manson family reunion.”
<Mike> “This movie is compiled strictly from second-unit footage.”
Coming Up Next : The Sci-Fi Years, beginning with Season Eight, and : Revenge of the Creature.
We watched Laserblast on Thanksgiving! That is the. best. MST. ever, IMO, allowing for the fact that I never saw a Sci-Fi channel episode. They knew they were shooting their wad, so that’s what they went ahead and did.
“I am so baked…”
“I hope that thing comes with a shirt-buttoning attachment!”
“Hush hush!” – “Sweet Charlotte!”
“A Microsoft meeting goes horribly wrong!”
Laserblast was among the early CC episodes I saw - along with Deathstalker, Santa Claus, Operation Double 007 and The Sword and the Dragon.
Woo, here we go. After cancellation, a fan campaign to save the show, and other trials and travails, MST3K made the leap from Comedy Central, to the Sci-Fi Channel. Sadly, Trace Beaulieu (Crow, Dr. Forrester) decided it was a good time to move on. Rather than ditch Crow, newly hired writer Bill Corbett (who’d done a little writing for them in the sixth season) was handed our favorite golden boy and told to fill in.
Among the other changes we see with season eight : Sci-Fi wanted the boys to mainly do Science Fiction-related pictures - a restriction they would later drop - and they wanted the host segments to reflect some kind of continuity/storylien - they would also later ease up on that.
MST3K 8.01 - Revenge of the Creature
We start off the first Sci-Fi season with one of the ‘Creature of the Black Lagoon’ movies. An expedition to the upper Amazon stuns and captures the creature, to bring him back to Sea World for torture… er, research. This goes about as well as one can expect, and the creature quickly escapes, abducting the young blonde (wholly unbelievable) science grad student. John Agar is the male lead (not counting the Creature, I suppose) and he’s at his smug finest. Catch Clint Eastwood in a small, uncredited part as a lab tech!
We get a new intro sequence, a new SOL set, new everything, just about.
Intro : The energy forms of the crew return to the ship - Crow’s already there, and he remembers everyone, except Mike. They soon discover they are in orbit around Earth, but it is the year 2525, and the planet is ruled by Apes. Who send them a movie, citing Ape Law. Host Segments: Meet the Nanites! They fix the ship’s controls in a jiff; Alien gangster comes looking for Servo, who owes him treasure; Crow fixes Mike a tiny espresso. Finale : Mike’s descendants are proved responsible for the ape evolution. “Good one, Nelson!” Pearl’s back, as the Apes’ Lawgiver. There’s some exposition on Dr. F’s fate, and Pearl establishes herself as the new villain of the show.
Signature Riffs:
<Scientist> “Maybe he’s right.”
<Mike, as Scientist> “Maybe I do have the feet of a dancer.”
<Tom, sighting the Creature> “Esther Williams didn’t age too well.”
<Crow> “When threatened, the deep-sea diver squirts ink.”
<Tom> “The Charlton Heston fish locator.”
<Mike, as the Creature, as George Foreman> “I want Joe Frasier!”
<Crow> “I wonder if he works for scale.”
<Tom> “Oskar Schindler, and his Big Band!”
Crow’s voice and puppeteering are rough in this episode, but rapidly improve, as I recollect.
Next : The Leech Woman
I loved the Eastwood riffs.
“Considering this is the most powerful lab rat in the world…”
Holidays being what they are, don’t expect my next update till around the new year. Maybe sooner.
**MST3K 8.02 - The Leech Woman **
This is a solid episode by any standard. Paul Talbot, smug endocrinologist learns of a plant-based hormone in Africa that can reverse aging - his expedition to find the plant is ill-fated, as his alcoholic and oft-abused wife turns against him at a critical moment, using his precious pineal juice to fuel her age regression. This kicks off a cycle of murders as she tries in vain to stay young.
Intro : Crow uses the Varmint Vac to capture Prarie Dogs living in the SOL. Host Segments : The Nanites are on Strike; Pearl makes a few Ape Laws; Tom and Crow try to harvest Mike’s pineal juices. Finale : Tom is overly excited about a Beverly Hillbillies sketch, and tries to force Mike and Crow to join in at gunpoint.
Signature Riffs:
(re : title)
<Mike> “The Sean Young Saga!”
<Mike, as Talbot> “Still not my line, do not act…”
<Tom, as old woman> “Jeeeeeeeed!”
<Crow> " You know, he’s a master of not acting."
<Tom> “Out of Africa.”
<Mike> “No, they’ve got more in the trunk.”
<Mike> “Sadly, this tribe of extras no longer exists.”
<Mike> “Oh, I love going to Bar. I usually eat Sandwich and have Drink.”
(re : a music cue)
<Tom> “The Torgo Theme!” (one of the few callbacks to bridge the network-jump)
Next : 8.03 - The Mole People
I love Leech Woman…especially Neil’s girlfriend, and how she “juts”…and how Neil forgets that he left her in the car (“Neil!!”).
On a side note…I just re-watched Manos the other day (I got The Essentials for Christmas). “Doggy go walk-ies??” put me on the floor.
One of my 5 favorites of all time!
Every so often, a riff appears that is almost a throwaway, but if you catch it at just the right time, it will fracture you!
For me, that was:
<Servo>: Why does he have a single meatball in his in-box?
Other greats:
<Servo>: Can you hear the drums, you Nandos?
<Servo>(regarding “jutting”): She enters a room before SHE does!
<Mike>: So “Mala” is Nando for “rawhide chew.”
<Servo>: Guess that’s what happens when you buy “Shur-fine” pineal juice!
Terrific stuff!
If I remember right, this was the movie that kept switching from documentary footage to stage footage for a tribal dance number.
Indeed.
<Crow> “Real Africa… Hollywood Africa!”
MST3K 8.03 - The Mole People
Well. John Agar and Hugh Beaumont, along with ‘Load’ Nestor Paiva journey to the slightly-left-of-center of the Earth. There they discover the remnants of a Sumerian culture - now albinos - who enslave actual Mole-Men to farm mushrooms for them. John promptly intimidates them all with his flashlight and interminable lecturing, but it backfires.
This episode illustrates vividly the new policy of not making callbacks to earlier (Comedy Central) episodes. John Agar, for instance, previously appeared in Women of the Prehistoric Planet. The matte painting representing the Sumerian city previously appeared in Wild World of Batwoman. The climbing sequences (and Hugh Beaumont) are like something straight out of Lost Continent. But, not so much as a “Rock climbing, Mike.” Nestor Paiva previously appeared in Revenge of the Creature, just two episodes previously, where he was less of a load.
This episode features a celebrity guest - MST’s first - football player Robert Smith, in the final host segment.
Just a footnote - early Deep 13 stagehands, Gerry and Sylvia, appear to have been based on the Mole People from this movie.
Intro : Crow is a Spacechild, and wants to conquer the SOL - Lawgiver Daze on Earth. Crow makes a mile-high meringue pie. Host Segments : Mike appears as the professor from the movie’s intro - the Bots dissect his skit; Tom wants to favor the crew with a ballad about his adventures, but can’t get his guitar in tune; Crow unearths archaelogical evidence of his previous self - then remembers Mike. Finale : Crow theorizes sublayers of the satellite - indeed, there are albinos living under the floorboards. The apes present Pearl with a mute stud.
Signature Riffs:
<Tom, as Professor> “Down, down… to the very nipple of the world.”
<Crow, reading credits> “Virgil Vogel, Va-va-voom!”
(re : location caption ‘Asia’)
<Mike> “Well, that narrows it down.”
<John Agar> “In archaeology, all things are possible.”
<Mike> “Well, no, not really…”
(re : Beaumont’s backside)
<Mike> “Man, Ward got back.”
<Mike> “This movie is just ropes and asses!”
<Tom, sinisterly> “Oh you never would believe where those Keebler cookies come from.”
<Crow> “Sashay, gentlemen, sashay!”
<Crow> “Is the first stage of grief pure, unbridled joy?”
Next : 8.04 - The Deadly Mantis
I thought Batwoman… appeared after this? In that episode, they make a point of riffing on how “You got your Mole People on my Batwoman. No, you got your Batwoman on my Mole People.”
No, sir. Wild World of Batwoman is a 5th season episode. It just so happens that, obviously, the Best Brains crew had seen Mole People off-screen before that.
I guess I remember it differently because I saw them out of order.
**MST3K 8.04 The Deadly Mantis **
A prehistoric insect of gargantuan proportions is set free from the arctic ice by a volcanic eruption - or the sheer tedium of the introductory narration, I’m not sure which. It begins migrating south, killing the puny humans in its path - the only people who can stop the beast are a military man and a paleontologist, and the wet tarpaulin who loves them. It’s a fun outing, but compared to the next two episodes, it’s just not as hilarious.
Intro : Tom tries to introduce Business Casual Day on the SOL. Mike accidentally helps the Apes fix a thermonuclear device, triggering the destruction of Earth - the SOL narrowly escapes. Host Segments : A hollow funeral for Pearl is interrupted by the lady herself, showing up in her space van with stowaway Professor Bobo; The SOL keeps trucking through the galaxy and Mike discovers that the radio stations available are all lame country and western; The SOL hits a blue fuzzy alien - when brought inside to check it for injury, it eats Crow. Finale : Crow serves up a meatloaf made of blue fuzzy alien; Mike and the Bots receive a letter from a time-lost Dr. Peanut; Pearl catches up to them and makes with the evil threats.
Signature Riffs:
<Narrator> “For every action…”
<Mike, as Narrator> “…there is a Jackson.”
<Crow> “Actors are shipped in from the mainland!”
<Tom, as miltary man> “I peed your pants. I’m not sure how.”
<Mike> “Don’t ask, Don’t tell, but have a darn good time.”
<Crow> “But I got a mantis in my pantis.”
Comedy Central Callbacks:
One of the radio stations in Host Segment #2 uses the station slogan “Turn your crank to Frank.”
At the scene of a train accident, Tom riffs : “Why don’t they look, Ned?”
Next : 8.05 - The Thing That Couldn’t Die
Wasn’t there a line about the lady “Meeting the captains privates?”
I enjoyed the riffing on the lonely soldiers reaction to a woman on base.
Indeed. Something akin to :
<Tom, as Military Guy> “Did you enjoy meeting my privates, Er, I meant the guys back at the base!”