I’d like to interrupt this thread for a slight hijack. I just watched my first rifftrax last night, of LOTR: Fellowship. Good lord, Mike & Kevin are still on top of their game. (Although it did feel wrong to laugh during Boromir’s death scene).
If you recall the scene between Aragorn and Boromir in Lothlorien, where Boromir is rhapsodizing about the White Tower…the guys go off on a series of phallic double-entendres, ending in “You can hang banners on yours???” that almost gave me a stroke.
**MST3K 8.05 - The Thing That Couldn’t Die **
Ahh, boy. One of my favorite Sci-Fi episodes. Incredibly strong outing. A satan-worshipping Englishman was decapitated and buried in two halves in California in the 1500s - a fetching young water-witch named Jessica comes across his disembodied head, and evil ensues. With this episode, things are finally, truly gelled for the new incarnation of the show. And as a bonus, it features the introduction of the Observers! The habit of calling random characters ‘Steve’ persists.
Intro : Tom creates anti-Crow art using grants from Crow; the Observers tractor-beam the SOL to their planet to observe Pearl’s experiment. Host Segments : One of the Observers insultingly observes Mike and Crow close up; the Observers try to materialize people from Mike’s memory, but everyone wants to beat him up; Crow T Robot’s Bram Stoker’s The Civil War. Finale : Tom, inspired by the movie, asks Mike to decapitate him and use his head to hypnotize Crow - Mike screws it up.
Signature Riffs :
(re : The Title)
<Tom> “The Strom Thurmond Story!”
<Mike> “There’s no trade rat, but there is a skilled artisan rat…”
<Mike> “So Catholicism is a placebo.”
<Mike, mocking Aunt Flavia’s accent> “Did you Maysure the Traysure?”
<Tom> “She took off her dress, and now she’s less nude than before.”
<Mike> “This scene has powerful asexual undertones.”
<Tom> “Dear movie, thank you so much for this scene!”
<Crow> “Five thousand dollars was a lot of money back now.”
Pre-Sci-Fi Callbacks:
<Tom, as Cal Meachum> “Plug it in, Joe.”
<Mike, as Jessica> “I found the This Island Earth music.”
<Mike> “Old timer Billy Slater’s doing 3 years community service.”
<Crow> “There’s something… Arch Hall, Jr. about her.”
Next : 8.06 - Roger Corman’s The Undead
The Undead?
I guess we’ll just have to…
STAY!
…for that one.
A quartet of 50’s scifi classics, three of which deal with past life regression through hypnosis!
MST3K 8.06 - The Undead
One of my absolute favorites. A sleazy psychologist, having picked up mysterious new techniques in Nepal, goes back to impress his old mentor by sending a prostitute back into one of her previous lives. Medieval times and wackiness ensue - as the prostitute’s interference with her past life threatens to change the course of history.
Intro : Mike recaps the story of the SOL so far, the Observers administrate Intelligence tests. Host Segments : Tom, having outscored Observer #3, is temporarily promoted to the rank of Observer - but then booted back to the Satellite for stealing spoons; The SOL is visited by a witch with a shapeshifting problem; Digger Smolken’s greatest hits album. Finale : Crow’s an imp; Tom hates Leonard Maltin and takes it out on Mike. Bobo accidentally eats part of Observer’s brain.
Signature Riffs:
<Mike, re : the Devil> “Peter Pan, Anti-Christ.”
<Tom> “American Institute of Psychical Researchiculating.”
<Tom, as hypnotist> “Oh, and by the way, SLEEEEP!”
<Hypnotist> “When I touch you…”
<Crow, as Hypnotist> “… I think about myself.”
<Crow, as Knight> “Stand and fight, Sir Woman!”
<Mike> “Gettest thou a cemetary full of savings, at Manard’s!”
<Smolken, holding a faint, crying Helena> “Soft, girl, soft.”
<Tom> “I’ll say!”
<Crow> “Corman’s theory of directing - light, and get away!”
<Mike> “You know, if Satan thinks you’ve gone too far, you’ve gone too far.”
<Mike> “This guy was never in heaven, he was cast out of Community Theater.”
Riffbacks:
<Crow> “Good, old-fashioned Nightmare Fuel.”
<Mike> " Hahahaha - You’re Stuck Here!"
<Crow> “This guy is like, Satan - from HELL.”
MST3K 8.07 - Terror From the Year 5000
Ah, a time travel story! An ambitious young jerk with money sponsors an eccentric scientist’s attempts to probe the future. It gets complicated when the scientist’s daughter brings in a museum curator to help verify the scientist’s findings. A love triangle forms, and then the whole thing is mixed up further by an ugly mutant woman wearing a disco-ball suit from the future. As a footnote, the continual riffs where one of the guys takes on the voice of the Narrator from the beginning of the film, offering more and more excuses as to why the Terror hasn’t shown up yet - they slay me.
Intro : The Obsevrers have Pearl and Bobo fight, and Tom wants to Comfort-Rate everything. Host Segments : The Observers have pill-based food; Mike sends Crow back in a time machine, and Crow spends 11 years with Mike’s family; completely kickass musical number, ‘When I Held Your Brain in My Arms’. Finale : Crow gets his comeuppance as a ladies’ man when Mike brings him a Blind Date From the Year 5000.
Signature Riffs :
<Mike> “It’s a hypodermic plane.”
<Tom> “Remember, when making a dramatic film, use genuine Actors.”
<Crow, as curator> “I better have my hair sharpened while I’m out…”
<Tom, as Curator, after a long string of questions> “What Happened to the Day-Ball?”
<Crow, as curator> “I don’t have to act, if I don’t wanna… no.”
<Mike> " He makes Urkel look like Van Damme."
<Mike> “Now we get to watch people watching a movie? What’s THAT all about?”
MST3K 8.08 - The She-Creature
More hypno-fun. The battle of wills between an ethical hypnotist (Lance Fuller, who goes on to star as Exeter in This Island Earth) and Dr. Carlo Lombardi, a sinister hypnotist who uses his suggestible subject to summon one of her past selves, a hideous fish-creature, in physical form from out of the sea to murder at his bidding.
Intro : Confusing a Thighmaster and a Thawmaster; the Observers prepare to dissect everyone. Escape is affected, when Mike inadvertantly orders the Nanites to blow of the planet of the Observers. Host Segments : Crow invents Tickle-Me Carlo Lombardi doll; Observer #3 cries for his lost world and joins forces with Pearl and Bobo; Mike studies Lance Fuller’s book ‘Do Not Act’. Finale : Discussion of the ? symbol at the end of the movie.
Signature Riffs :
<Tom, re : title> “The Ru Paul Story!”
<Lombardi’s subject> “I need to get away from here. Away from you.”
<Mike, as Lombardi> “Can I come?”
<Crow> “And he… DUCKS out of the screen.”
<Tom> “Battle of the Mumblers…”
<Tom> " Donald Duck has the Ring of Power!"
Riffbacks :
<Crow, as Lance> “My first question, Will I get the part in This Island Earth?”
<Tom, as a couple walks on the beach> “Sessions Presents…”*
<Mike, as Dog, as he leaps down> “Rannix!”
MST3K 8.09 - I Was a Teenage Werewolf
More hypnosis! An unethical hypnotist tries his techniques along with an experimental drug to attempt to regress a young student (Michael Landon) to an earlier, more primitive stage, in the hopes of developing a technique to control mankind’s aggression and tendency for self-destruction. Predictably, though apparently not to the hypnotist, the more primitive wolf-man that results is aggressive and very destructive, and ultimately, self-destructive.
Intro : Tom removes Mike as Captain, only to find that no one else is qualified. Pearl and the gang camp on a primitive planet and put the SOL on battery power, and it is promptly invaded by aliens. Tom gets a facehugger. Host Segments : Crow gets a Proximity Detector, but he has it on the wrong setting; Tom butches up with military gear, but breaks down crying thirty seconds into his mission; Mike tries to rid the SOL of alien eggs by using them for omelettes, but Crow’s a finicky eater. Finale : Mike repulses an alien on the hull by imitating Adam Duritz of Counting Crows.
Signature Riffs:
<Mike, to the tune of Bonanza> “We got a film, and it’s star-ring Michael Lan-don!”
<Tom, as Michael’s girlfriend> “Ooh, your nose is cold.”
<Crow, as the depressed father> “Off to my job at DismalCo.”
<Crow> “Jabba the Husband.”
<Crow, re : the musical number> “Ultimately, thank God for MTV, you know?”
<Mike> “Sock Hop of the Damned.”
<Tom, as Michael> “I thought it was allright if I picked a little fight… Bonanza?”
Riffbacks :
We do get one offhand reference to Arch Hall, Jr.
Next: 8.10 - Giant Spider Invasion
Won’t be the last time we hear “good old-fashioned nightmare fuel” – it comes up again in ISCWSLABMUZ.
Terror/5000 favorite riff, during a not-very-exciting car chase…“so, the Terror from the Year 500 is a Ford with bad brakes?”
She-Creature…love all the scenes of Carlo Lombardi staring out his window, and all the variations on “hey, get off my lawn” that ensue.
Indeed - my favorite bits from these four :
8.06 - Crow’s line about Corman never fails to split my sides, but the whole thing is packed with hilarity.
8.07 - The Observers’ song during Host Segment Three. Thing of Beauty. And the endlessly puzzled Robert Hedges. And… “I just found out that the Terror is on back-order, so we apologize for the delay!”
8.08 - Lance Fuller’s ‘Do Not Act’. Mike’s rendition of a scene from Waterworld makes me giggle. And an exchange between Fuller and the rich man who ultimately sponsors Lombardi’s act. “Where do I fit in?” <Mike, as Rich Guy> “You don’t! I’ve bought you out already.”
8.09 - The running gag about milk hurling. And the little references to other parts of Michael Landon’s career.
I didn’t realize that it was Lance “Da Mumbler” Fuller as Exeter. Wow.
**She Creature ** was a bit of a snoozer for me. But there were pretty good riffs like the SLEEEEEEEP! jokes.
The Undead reminds me of a riff I always make while watching Ed Wood. When Ed asks the cheap-ass producer what, when put into a film, will garauntee a profit, The producer answers, “Tits.” Every time I hear that, I think, “Hey, it’s Roger Corman!” I also like the stinger (see my previous post).
From …Werewolf:
-The references to “beefing.”
-A cop puts two slugs into the werewolf and afterward Crow yells, “Stop or I’ll shoot!”
I barely remember …5000, but I do like the “narrator” telling us that the terror will be arriving shortly.
MST3K 8.10 - The Giant Spider Invasion
Does anyone else hate IMDB’s new page layout? Ick. Anyhoo. We take a bold leap into the 1970s with this Wisconsin-filmed disaster. A meteor (Apparently with a miniature black hole - really poorly explained) crashes in Wisconsin and unleashes a plague of Spiders, including a giant puppet spider. Fighting to save humanity are a mated pair of old scientist types and Alan Hale as the town sheriff. Also noteworthy are the white trash couple that find the initial signs of the infestation - or, at least, the film spends a lot of time on them.
Intro : Tom is a Cheerleader, but Mike and Crow won’t give him any letters; Observer and Pearl are replaced by Pod People. Host Segments : Gypsy is Podded; Mike and the Bots try to stay awake to avoid being taken over - the Pods aren’t interested in Bobo; Pod-Tom tries to cast doubt on real-Tom’s authenticity, but Tom’s underwear collection saves the day. Finale : Only Mike and Bobo are left, and Bobo manages to save the day.
Signature Riffs :
<Mike> “Hey, it’s a Giant Spider Invasion of savings, at Manard’s!”
<Tom> “I like you, Dottie. Like.”
<Crow> “Go, Spiders, Go, Spiders, Go Go Spiders!”
<Crow> “Not a joke, but an incredible simulation.”
<Mike, re : poorly lit film> “Sounds like a nice place, wish we could see it.”
<Tom> “George Hamilton finally overtans.”
<Crow> “Wow, the music budget ran out.”
And of course…
<Tom, and the others> “Packers!”
Next : 8.11 - parts : the clonus horror
“There goes the towns’ diamond merchant”
This flick and Clonus are possibly the best back-to-back pairings in the whole series.
Yeah, this started a really great run: giant spider, clonus, ISCWSLABMUZ, Prince of Space…all fantastic.
“I can’t believe you rolled on me.”
“Pork gravy in a can??!!??”
This episode had particularly good host segments. I especially love Gypsy’s attempt to get Mike & the bots to sleep.
Prince of Space is 8.16 - there are three episodes between Incredibly Strange Creatures and Prince of Space. Including the sublime Jack Frost.
I have to say my favorite back-to-back of the SciFi years is 8.05-8.06.
The episode that has stuck with me with the most bizarre memories of the show was Gamera vs. Guiron. Why?
Really, nobody understood why, as a young teenager, I knew a song about eating Gamera. Nobody knew who Gamera was. But some of them knew of the wonders of MST3K.
MST3K 8.11 - parts : the clonus horror
A very solid outing, as Mike and the Bots take on a dark scifi nugget from the late 70s. You may have seen this film recently, retitled ‘The Island’. The premise is that of a secret clone farm where clones are grown and raised for spare parts for America’s powerbrokers. One of the clones breaks free, and finds his original, who ultimately decides to maybe sort of help the clone bring down the bad guys. But because the movie’s a major downer, he fails. Oh, and there’s Peter Graves. And Dick Sargent.
Intro : Mike tries a mustache, Pearl and crew are visited by Space Children. Host Segments : Pearl and the gang play Candyland with the tots - Bobo takes a shot to the pills; Pearl begs Mike to distract the kids - the SOL gang puts on a brief kid’s show segment that only stirs them up more; the kids gets the Facts of Lfie from Pearl and crew - Bobo takes another shot to the pills. Finale : Crow shows off his tiny nose job.
Signature Riffs:
<Crow> “Mike, I think the voices in my head are a little louder than usual…”
<Crow> “Biography!”
<Crow, re title> “Apparently, e.e. cummings wrote it.”
<Mike> “Saturn. A different kind of car company.”
<Tom> “Here at ‘Up With People’ farms…”
<Tom> “Malibu Barbie is down!”
<Mike, as Dick Sargent on the phone> “Get me Endora.”
<Mike> “A Separate Piece… of crap.”
<Crow> “He’s a nurse’s aide - who doesn’t play by the rules.”
<Tom> “Convenient, he happened into the Department of Backstory…”
MST3K 8.12 - The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies
Available in Volume 9.
Wow. Aside from the longest title of a movie in the show’s history, this film doesn’t offer much. Great episode, though. Slacker Jerry goes to the carnival with his pal and girlfriend, gets hyp-mo-tized, and becomes a psycho-killer. That’s… about it. The film is padded with a number of musical numbers, all of which are riffed hilariously. As a footnote, both of the popular SciFi era running gags appear in this one. (SLEEEEEP! and I Thought You Were Dale.)
Intro: Tom and Crow are doing Walkathons for charities with odd acronyms, and Pearl’s taking the Space Kids home. Host Segments : Crow and Tom set up a fortune telling session to bilk Mike out of fifty cents, and fail miserably; Shelly the Nanite gives Mike big hair; Crow hires Ortega to cater the film break. Finale : Tom and Crow get Mike to ride their roller coaster, the ‘Screaming Lemur’.
Signature Riffs:
<Crow> “See the latest in stripper technology.”
<Mike> “Ooh, and Joan Collins is checked into the boards.”
<Tom> “The title actually has appendices.”
<Tom> “Cinematography by Zapruder.”
<Jerry> “The world’s my college.”
<Crow> “He’s taking it pass/fail.”
<Tom> “Children of all ages will enjoy our exotic dancers.”
<Tom> “She’s subletting Dr. Carlo Lombardi’s place.”
<Crow> “Man, she could use a couple of Supremes or a Pip or something.”
<Tom> “I think what she’s trying to say is SLEEEEP!”
<Mike> (after the ‘Schick out of Shape’ musical number) “Brought to you by Schick.”
<Crow> “Oh, they turned Leech Woman into a musical…”
Riffbacks :
<Mike> “Ray Dennis Steckler, that explains a lot.”
<Tom> " In the tradition of Arch Hall, Jr."
(Steckler apparently appeared in the Arch Hall vehicle, Eegah.)
<Mike> “Ah, good old-fashioned nightmare fuel.”
Next : 8.13 - Jack Frost.
This seems like as good a place as any to ask this…
Back when MST3K was on SciFi, their SciFi website featured cast commentary on the films much in the tradition of their Amazing Colossal Episode Guide. But since the show’s cancellation, I haven’t been able to find that commentary anywhere. Is there perchance another place where it was stored?
Here is info on the book. Click the ‘here’ link on the 2nd Q and A to get seasons 7-10.
There is all sorts of info on this site.
www.mst3kinfo.com
Also, check out the ‘other referenced sites’ links at the bottom of this wikipedia page.
Wiki link
It actually looks like CG might be able to finish his reviews before I finish watching all the episodes. I figured I would finish way before him, but I’ve sort of tapered off. While the bad movies may not have dampened Mike and the bots spirit, they have started to wear on me a bit. ‘Kitten with a Whip’ took me a while to get through and I’ve been scared ever since.
Oh, and this link has reviews CG style. Maybe a bit more detail, or just another opinion.
http://tom-servo.home.mindspring.com/reviews.html
Awesome–this one’s tied with Village of the Giants as my favorite episode.
Neat! I used to do them in more detail, then I realized - no one’s going to want more than a very high level summary of the actual movie from me.
Back to back gems. The closing credits of parts: with the “biography” of James Arness: Ugly & Stupid may be the single funniest moment of the entire series, IMHO.
The best parts of Incredibly Strange were the production numbers. “You know…it would’ve been a lot easier to use actual strippers .”
I’m late on this posting! I actually like your longer posts. I was finding the recent ones rather spare and plain.
Two of my FAVORITE episodes.
“Pow!..Ow. Pow!..Ow. Pow!..Ow. Pow!..Ow.”
“Will you Change me, Clone-Daddy?”
And of course:
“I remember the sequel to this: ISCWSLABMUZ-II.”
“Just think, behind that thick curtain, she’s not wearing all that much clothing.”
“The 13-year-old boys who snuck in here on fake IDs must be feeling profoundly ripped off by now.”