PoS may be my second-favorite episode EVER (after the soon-to-be-reviewed Space Mutiny). The dog barking with a Japanese accent…Captain Manakata, stuffed with cheese… And the host segments are all just marvelous.
Speaking of which – the Dog & Bear segment always felt like a parody of a particular literary style (“I tried a savage, feral roar, but alas my force was spent, and I died.”) but I’ve never succeeded in placing it.
This format is good, CG. Go, you!
Prince of Space definitely is one of my favorite MST3K episodes. The movie tickles me, and the host segments are cool and different from the norm.
I also wondered if Prince of Space was a movie slapped together from a bunch of TV episodes. It seemed like the titular hero had to keep reminding the incredibly inept and thick-headed aliens from Krankor that their weapons are useless against him about a dozen times. Dramatically (and I realize I’m using this term very loosely here), such repitition would make sense only if PoS had originally been a multi-episode serial where the viewer (who’s probably around age six) might need to be told of this fact more than once. Still, PoS was one of the better MST 3K episodes. **Invasion of the Neptune Men ** wasn’t as good but I did like Servo’s rant-against-Japan/mental-breakdown near the end.
Neptune Men suffers by not having an identifiable villain–all the Neptune Men are interchangeable, with no equivalent of the Phantom of Krankor (bakaw). Plus, it’s incredibly repetitious and dull. On the plus side: they do blow up the Hitler Building.
Well, you might also blame whoever dubbed it into English. We have no idea if the Japanese dialogue was as repetitive.
PoS is worth viewing if only for Krankor’s odd, stilted laugh. My father uses it every time the Cardinals beat the Cubs. 
I disagree, though, that PoS is basically the same movie as IotNM. The former has a sense of goofy fun about it and is a hoot to watch, droopy packages aside. The latter is odd, disturbing, grainy and tiresome, even in its MSTie’d state. The battle between Space Chef and the crab saucers alone runs about twelve hours.
Plus, Mickey and the gang are a lot more tolerable than that pack of loathsome, predatory boys in IotNM.
**MST3K 8.17 - The Horror of Party Beach **
Back in the land of old teenagers and rubber-suited monsters, it’s familiar territory for Mike and the Bots.
Intro : Tom is chanting, attempting to harmonize with the great fundamental. He fools Mike into thinking he did it. Pearl and Observer, in Ancient Rome, claim to be Gods.
We kick off with driving surf music, and it almost looks like it’s going to be something straight out of Frankie and Annette. However, our primary teenage couple, Hank and Tina, seem to be at odds - getting into a big fight as soon as they hit the beach. (Tina, it seems, is a slut. Hank, it seems, is a oaken carving.) Of course, no party is complete without refreshments - a short distance off the beach, a trawler dumps a barrel of toxic waste, which torpedoes to the bottom and instantly springs a leak, instantly beginning to mutate human remains into fishy, pickle-mouthed creatures that feed on human blood. No padding here, my friend.
Back on the beach, things heat up when a motorcycle gang arrives - their leader has the hots for Tina, leading to a well-choreographed brawl between his gang and Hank and friends. The fight ends honorably, and the motorcycle punks go on their merry way out of the movie - lucky bastards. Tina, in a huff, goes out to sun herself on some rocks, and is killed by one of the pickle-fish.
Host Segment One : The Manly Beach dance. The bots plan a manly beach dance, but Mike’s trunks are a little small.
Back in the movie, the girl’s death is only the first in a string of mysterious homicides - though the way the pickle-fish walk, it’s hard to see them remaining stealthy for long. Naturally, the cops go to the town’s Scientist. The Scientist happens to be the father of Hank’s rebound girl, who is inexplicably dubbed. The Scientist also employs a black stereotype - er, maid - named Eulabelle. She’ll be important later. Hank’s new Gal is depressed by all the murder and such, and skips out on a slumber party - which is hit hard by the pickle-fish, everyone slaughtered. We meet three female tourists, on their way to New York, just before the break.
Host Segment Two : The Romans test Pearl and Observer, and Observer helps Pearl - together, they belt out some familiar music.
Our tourists take a wrong turn, botching fairly simple directions, and end up with a flat, in the woods, at night. (Incidentally, there’s a whole series of jokes about them having reached New York - they make me giggle, but are difficult to reproduce in context here.) Natch, they are attacked and killed by pickle-fish. Meanwhile, across town, Hank and Dubbed Girl go to a quiet, somber evening beach party. (It is around this time that we see a sign saying simply : Look Polish. This sets off a running gag.) Finally, one of the monsters managed to maim itself during a rampage, losing a hand and giving the Scientist something to study. Eulabelle accidentally destroys the arm with sodium, giving them the key.
Host Segment Three : Newsboy Tom and the Newspaper Headline gag.
A massive search is undertaken, looking for radioactive traces of the monsters, while sodium is sought in massive quantities to fight the beasts. For some reason, the nearest sodium is in New York City. Hank goes to get it, while Dubbed Girl manages to stumble on the body of water that houses the pickle-fish. And she promptly falls, concusses herself, twists her ankle, and gets her foot lightly wedged in a rock. It’s uncanny. Her father shows up in time with a little sodium to get himself injured saving her, but Hank comes through in the end, with his (Wooden) delivery of lots of sodium. And the monsters burn to death, the end.
Finale : A rockin beach-tune about Sodium. Pearl and Flavia get catty.
Signature Riffs:
Seeing a number of editors in the credits…
Tom: Whoa, must’ve edited the crap out of this thing.
Mike: What is additional dialogue, anyway?
Crow : Stuff like ‘Hey, you!’, ‘Get off that!’…
Mike: Sure, most radiation is harmful eventually, but ours does massive damage in seconds.
Spotting the pickle-fish’s face forming…
**Mike:**The incredible, HORRIBLE Mr. Limpet…
Regarding the beach band…
Tom: The Velvet Underground hadn’t really found its edge yet…
*The motorcycle gang arrives… *
**Mike:**Johnny Mathis, and the Conan O’Briens!
The Band, again.
**Tom:**Music by the ‘My Three Sons’.
Crow: I had a generally positive impression of white people before this movie.
The monsters hit the slumber party…
Mike: They don’t even know what panties are, yet they feel compelled to raid.
Guy, regarding the monster hand: Well, is it a plant or an animal?
Mike: Planimal!
Next: 8.18 - Devil Doll. I’ll try to swing two or three entries next weekend though.
Hurray for the Hot Dog Monster!!!
Quick, everyone! Look Polish!
One of my favorite riffs–at a particularly glaring day/night continuity error…“meawhile, later the next morning…”
“Would you like some ham, Hugo?”
You think HE likes ham? Wait until you see ME like ham!
One thing in** HoPB ** that always struck me was that the best acting in the film was by the racial stereotype.
Oh, and no padding? What about the horribly drawn-out sodium epiphany:
“sodium seems to hurt them”
[One year of interminable dialog]
“Let’s get some sodium and throw it on them!”
When I say no padding here, I mean in that section of the film. The waste gets underway with truly impressive speed.
MST3K 8.18 - Devil Doll
A bleak little stinkburger, revisiting themes of hypnosis, and with the added bonus of a hideous ventriloquist’s dummy. The actor playing the Great Vorelli had a relatively brief film career, but one of his other gems is the season 9 opener, The Projected Man.
Intro : It’s Friday night at the Dorm, on the SOL. Tom and Crow want a bitchin’ kegger with speakers in the window, but all they could afford was the window. Down below, the Romans are throwing a “Welcome Gods” party. While Crow gets drunk and bemoans his lost “Debbie”, punching in Servo’s window in the process, Brain Guy impresses the toga-clad Romans with a “pants party.”
We meet the Great Vorelli, hypnotist and ventriloquist, as he rides through London with his dummy, Hugo. We get some glimpses of his show, and we’re introduced to a reporter, Mark - played by William Sylvester (Agent for HARM’s boss). (Mike: “Leave Robert Denby alone!”) He’s apparently interested in the mystery that is “Vorelli”. I can’t imagine why. Meanwhile, we get to see what a great guy Vorelli is, as he hypnotizes a volunteer from the audience into imagining that he’s about to be executed. (Crow: “Should he have really called this the Wacky Fun-Time Revue?”) Mark and assistant-slash-girlfriend Marianne are in the audience, and Vorelli has the young heiress get up on stage and cut a rug under hypnosis. After the show, Mark and Marianne chat about Vorelli.
Exciting, huh?
Host Segment One : Crow’s shopping for Devil Dolls - and guess who’s the salesman? Why, it’s Comedy-Central era staple, Pitch! Mike takes exception to Crow’s dealings with the devil. (A devil, as Pitch points out.)
More talking up on the screen - the reporter is quite impressed with a segment of Vorelli’s act where Hugo is made to appear as if he can walk. He persuades Marianne to invite Vorelli to entertain at the ball her family is throwing, so he can get a closer look at Vorelli’s little dummy. (Oh, no, people - no.) At the ball, Vorelli apparently retains some kind of backdoor into Marianne’s soul, exerting his mental wiles on her from across the room. While Mark checks out Hugo, Vorelli mentally enslaves Marianne, ultimately luring her for hot sexin’. Mark gets the consolation prize when Hugo speaks on his own, giving him a few leads to chase down like a good little reporter.
Host Segment Two : Thanks to the Nanites, Tom and Crew have set up a real English pub on the bridge of the SOL - wgere the beer is really, really thick.
Marianne, in classic Dracula style, begins to fall ill - spending most of her time unconscious, presumably trying to repress her night with Vorelli. Meanwhile, Vorelli’s assistant has grown jealous of Marianne - so Vorelli beds her, then has Hugo kill her while he’s someplace with an alibi. Mark chases down Vorelli’s origins in Berlin - sending a colleague out to gather more information. His colleague tracks down an old partner of Vorelli’s, who gives Mark the cruel truth - Hugo contains the soul of a boy who used to work with Vorelli. Vorelli has powers of hypnotism that allow him to transfer people’s souls wherever he wants, pretty much.
Host Segment Three : Pitch is back, teaching Crow how to transfer souls - in this case, Tom gets transplanted into an effigy of himself, before Mike comes in and chases Pitch away. Tom, unperturbed, transfers his soul into a toaster strudel. (He retains this form through the last theater segment.)
We learn more backstory - Vorelli killed the real Hugo on stage, pretending there was an accident, while secretly shunting his soul into the dummy. Why? Who the hell knows. Meanwhile, Marianne’s up again, and Vorelli’s crushed her will, suggesting to her that she should marry him - he’s planning to kill her for the money, you see. And transfer her into a dummy body. Why the transfer? No one knows. Murder just isn’t enough for some folks. Hugo, though, has had enough and musters his will - fighting his master physically, and then using a last-second hypnosis trick of his own to put Vorelli in the dummy, while taking Vorelli’s body for his own.
Finale : Crow as Vorelli, with Tom as the butt-baring assistant, taunts Mike, as Hugo, in a cage. Pearl and Brain guy watch a gladiatorial match, with the Romans new favorite, Mad Goth - whom the pair recognizes as Professor Bobo.
Signature Riffs :
Mike : “You know, if not for Rock’n’Roll, Ventriloquy would’ve been huge.”
Tom, as Vorelli : “Thrill! as he doesn’t talk, and I don’t move my lips.”
Tom : “Modern architecture - efficient, and beauty-free.”
Mike : “Hugo’s got a John Agar smile.”
Hugo is walking to get himself some ham - he spots a knife and picks it up, briefly menacing Vorelli.
Crow : “Look familiar, Mike?”
Tom : “It may. Soon.”
Mike : nervous chuckle
Tom : “He looks like Alfalfa E. Neuman.”
Next : 8.19 - Invasion of the Neptune Men (already watched it, just don’t have time to do the notes tonight.)
Another great summary of a pretty good episode. I loved where they compared Vorelli to dentists who grope their patients while they’re sedated.
And lets not forget:
BUTT-LADY! BUTT-LADY! BUTT-LADY!
MST3K 8.19 - Invasion of the Neptune Men
Not quite the gem that was Prince of Space, but a similar film.
Intro : Tom and Crow are reading National Geographic, and discover the horrible monsters that are eyelash mites. They inspire Mike to have the nanites declare war on his mites. Meanwhile, Professor Bobo is enjoying the fruits of his gladiatorial success.
While awaiting the possible return of a spacecraft (Rune 2?) some precocious little brats with hideous voices are out playing in a field, with a telescope. They spot a falling object, that they initially take to be the satellite, but no such long - it’s the Neptune Men, and they’re pissed. Naturally, the kids get in close to see what the deal is, and are attacked - only to be saved by Space Chief and his flying '57 Chevy. Space Chief runs the Neptune men off, and we cut to a lab environment. It appears that scientists are detecting strange waves that are causing electronic devices to run backwards.
Host Segment : The Bots want to put on Kabuki plays for Mike, and Mike prefers Noh theater. And Abbott and Costello-inspired wordplay.
The scientists continue to study the mysterious wave, calling it an “ultra short sigma wave” and deducing its extra-terrestrial origin. The kids form the beginning get the job of escorting a reporter to the landing site, and generally establish they can come and go as they please, anywhere. (Mike: “Apparently, the kids have Level 5 security clearance.”) The aliens take things up a notch by blowing up one of Japan’s nuclear power plants. One of the scientists mutters some nonsense about Low-G Panty Complex, leading to a set of running gags - and we learn that Japan has a working force field system, they plan to use against the aliens. The aliens attacked is rebuffed by the force screen, and poor Tom begins to feel ill - leading Mike to take him out of the theater early.
Host Segment : Servo has Low-G Panty complex, so Mike administers panties to him. Pearl and Observer confront Bobo.
The children are playing and noisily babbling on or near the military base, and discover a small probe device, which they naturally mess with. Apparently, it was an alien attempt at sabotage, because they don’t like the forcefield. The aliens next tactic is to create a storm that requires the forcefield to be shut down - then they infiltrate the military base. Space Chief saves the day - so the barrier’s still available for the aliens’ next tactic, a world-wide temperature drop.
Host Segment : The crew is broken by the horrible, dull movie - then, to brighten their spirits - Phantom of Krankor shows up!
The aliens’ attack begins in earnest, and continues for quite some time, as hexagonal ships battle Space Chief and blow up buildings. (Including a building from stock footage with Hitler on it.) The crew gets distracted by something under Crow’s seat. Servo breaks down crying. Mike steps out for a little while. Tom recovers, and Crow leaves for a bit. The stock footage finally runs out, and I guess Earth wins?
Finale : Suggestion box on the SOL, mainly filled with Crow’s suggestions for Japan. Bobo has an autograph line, and Pearl infiltrates that to get to him - finally restoring his memory with a blow to the head - but then he promptly blows their godly cover.
Signature Riffs:
Regarding the opening theme
Mike : Sounds like the Little Rascals are gonna be in this.
All together, as the Neptune Men, to Space Chief
Crew : Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. Your costume is ridiculous.
Beginning a running gag about the Neptunian costumes
Crow (as Neptune Man) : Has anyone seen my record?
As the clocks run backwards
Tom (as Guy) : That means lunch won’t be till yesterday!
Tom : They’re making the Chicken Men of Krankor look super-confident and dignified.
Crow : Wow, the location scout for this movie must’ve been a manic-depressive.
Mike (narrating): Space Chief is actually Racer X, Speed’s brother.
Riffback!
Tom : Space Chief’s off having a couple of Sapporos with Jet Jaguar and Prince of Space.
Next : One of my faves, 8.20 - Space Mutiny
Is that the one with Ken, Ken, and Ken? Or the one with Biff Hardcheese?
I think Biff Hardcheese is from “Space Mutiny”.
Yep, from IMDB:
I really really really really really really hated the kids from Invasion of the Neptune Men. You get the feeling that they’ll grow up to be gang rapists.
I did love the riffs when the spacemen blew up the Hitler building.
Mike: Oh no, they blew up the Hitler building!
Crow: All the Hitler attractions, the Hitler rides and games!
Mike: What’s next, the Mussolini Mall? The Pinochet Petting Zoo?
And what was with the Neptune Men dressing up as female soldiers? Could they not dress as men? Seems to me that the lipstick and mascara just required more effort.
Ah, SPACE MUTINY. I’m so happy I could just scream. Like a woman.
I
Wish
I
Had
Jessies
Girl.
.
.
SPLAT!I think the Neptune Men stock footage is from the bombing of Dresden. It’s such a weird concept: let’s splice this film of a truly horrific, real-life event – from that war we totally lost – into this kids’ movie!
Space Mutiny! One of my favorites! “Did you sign Debbie’s card?”