I use the “camera pointed at Ben Murphy” riff every chance I get.
I also saw the update on volume 1 on the Satellite News site…are we really talking about volume 10? (I know 10 was pulled, but I don’t recall any problems with 1…but since I own 1, I don’t really care.)
You have to understand, a mediocre MST episode is better than a great episode of anything else on TV. Except Arrested Development.
It does have one of the all-time best stingers, though.
And no, jsc, I think they mean Volume 1 - the rights had expired to one or two of the movies on that collection, as I recall.
Volumes 1 and 3 both went out of print due to rights issues, but the problem with Vol. 1 has been solved and it’s coming out again. Volume 10 had a Godzilla movie on it, and there was a rights problem almost immediately (as in, they apparently didn’t have the rights to issue it at all), so it was recalled. I’m not sure if that’s been resolved.
I’m about to go watch Riding with Death right now.
Just FYI…
MST3K 8.15 - Agent for HARM
I love this episode.
Intro : We open on the SOL, as the boys are trying out ‘EXTREME’ … sundry activities. Mike vanishes, appearing in a prison uniform before an intergalactic judge-being. He is on trial for the destruction of several planets. Thanks to some unfortunately-timed sarcasm, Mike pikes Pearl Forrester as his prosecutor and Professor Bobo as his defense attorney.
Agent for HARM was a failed television pilot - very firmly in the cheesy 60’s spy genre. There’s a long period of darkness ( Crow : “I have abandonment issues with this movie already.”) and then we see a pair of trenchcoated men running for their lives. (Mike : “Ah, the traditional Running of the Clouseaus.” Tom : “Inspector Gadget in : Marathon Man.” Crow : “It’s the Eastern Europe part of Southern California.” ) One of them is a scientist attempting to defect - and despite a double-cross by their contact, he does manage to escape with a sinister Soviet secret. Spores! The pre-credit action sequence thus ends, and we get credits chock full of groovy music and triangles.
Mike and the Bots make some funny guesses as to what HARM stands for, and work their usual magic on the credits sequence. We meet a nerdy guy, who we will later learn is the lab assistant of the defector scientist, who promptly dies via spore. Sad, really. We also get to meet Adam Chance, the titular agent, as he helps train a buxom brunette agent. Business interrupts their pleasure, and he says he’ll meet her on the Judo Range later. (This prompts a series of riffs by the guys, among them - Tom : “Meet me at the Karate Rink later.”) Adam’s dispatched to San Diego, to talk to Dr. Stefanik, the defector guy, about the weird shenanigans. And a peculiar bit of music that plays in this section prompts a Riff-back! (Mike : “Torgo’s theme!”) Adam smarms his way into the good graces of Stefanik’s niece, on the beach near the lab.
Host Segment One : Crow tries to make a cake containing a power saw. The trial of Mike Nelson continues; Bobo is suddenly southern. Patrick Brantseg debuts as the new voice of Gypsy, taking over for Best Brains’ head, Jim Mallon. (Mallon is the last ‘original’ cast member to depart the show, technically speaking.) Bobo frustrates Mike such that Mike tries to strangulate the ape, prompting Crow when Mike returns to the theater : “Mike, why were you choking the monkey?” Mike : “Because Bobo’s such a… hey!”
Chance meets with Stefanik, and the niece proves herself a traitor, to the audience, as she checks in with the bad guys. Agent and Scientist proceed to the morgue to witness the autopsy of the lab assistant, and Stefanik’s worst fears are confirmed : Spores. They return to the lab, and Chance wants answers, but Stefanik is reluctant to talk. Chance resorts to threats. (Adam : “Doctor, you realize I could have you sent back.” Tom, as Adam : “… I still have the receipt.”) It’s about this time in the movie that Mike and the Bots begin to periodically interject Bond-style music stings, usually at the least action-worthy moments. It is hilarious. Stefanik caves, showing Adam some meteorite samples, and telling him about secret spores the Soviets found on the space rock. If the spores touch human flesh, they eat the person away from the inside and leave behind a puddle of goo.
Stefanik speculates the bad guy’s plan is to dust America’s crops with the stuff, turning us all into piles of goo. And we learn the bad guy’s name is Malko. We then check in with Malko, who’s busy brewing up spores, and we get another one of our running gags for the episode - you see, one of his henchmen bears a striking resemblance to Prince.
Host Segment Two : Bobo presents video depositions in Mike’s defense, using the Bots as character witnesses. Crow’s is hilariously and needlessly profane.
The bad guys try to hit the scientist’s house to pick up his “formula” - which I’m not exactly clear on why they need it. Chance sneaks aboard their van when they leave, frustrated. He uses the ploy to locate their base, then reports in to HQ like a good little agent. But they don’t bust the guys yet. Stefanik works on a spore antidote, and Chance rigs a television to put thirty thousand volts through the laboratory door - predicting, correctly, that the bad guys will be back for the formula.
One of them does fall for the shock treatment, and does a hilarious little death-spin down the stairs. (Crow, singing : “Gotta dance, Gotta dance!”) Chance takes out a second one using more traditional means. (Mike : “So he’s really a serial killer, sanctioned by the government.”) The bad guys successfully grab Stefanik and Chance pursues.
Host Segment Three : Observer testifies. Bobo shows surprising intelligence and manages to shoot Observer’s embellished story down in flames, thanks to an obsessive knowledge of pies.
Our climax takes place at an airport - the bad guys set a really odd trap for Chance, and I’m not sure how it was better than just shooting him, but there you go. Their cropduster is taking off as he rides up - I guess they didn’t really need the formula after all? He zips towards the plane on his motorcycle, firing wildly. (Tom, as Chance : “Wait, you forgot your bullets!”) He manages to get in front of the plane and shoot the pilot, then drives back for the big standoff with Malko. MAlko ends up with a facefull of spores, and Stefanik dies. Pity, that.
Chance, of course, is aware of the niece’s deception, and goes to confront her. (Tom : “Level 5 smug alert.” Mike : “You know, this movie can be used to induce vomiting.”) His deduction impresses everyone but the audience, as they take the girl in. (Query : “How long have you known?” Mike, as Chance : “My Cardigan informed me some time ago…”)
Fin : The Bots hold a candlelight vigil for Mike as the verdict nears; Ortega gives mumbled but damning testimony, which Bob rebuts using a little Amish Boy. The judge finds Mike guilty, and sentences him to death, but then instantly commutes the sentence to 800 hours of community service.
Next : 8.16 Prince of Space.
My firends and I call that flick Agent from S.M.A.R.M.
One of my favorite “little” things in that movie was when the actor playing the scientist pretends to lock the door even though there is no key or lock and the bots notice it.
The Cidy Lou Who comment was funny too.
Mmm. Prince of Space. “Har! Har har!”
I like it very much!
Your weapons are useless against me!
What’s wrong with being a bootblack?
To this day, my friends and I use ‘I like it very much.’ on things we either like very much, or… well, don’t like so much. It’s all about context.
I love hearing little japanese kids speaking in a New Jersey accent.
Especially at Beaver Falls, Japan.
MST3K 8.16 - Prince of Space
These longer form reviews are really putting a hurt on my pace. This time, we’ve got Prince of Space, a late-50’s Japanese sci-fi effort that is well-liked amongst MST3K fans, if my experiences are any indication. It is available on Volume 7 of the DVD collections.
I’m shortening things a little, and I’m moving the quotes to the end, again, though.
Intro : Tom and Crow are playing Dog and Bear, but Servo took it too far. They then enjoy a game of Sea Lion and Squirrel. Bobo is out walkies and accidentally drops into a wormhole, so Pearl and Brain Guy pursue, dragging the satellite with them.
Wally the bootblack has two orphan children he takes care of - and often lets them go visit the home of a scientist pal, who has a son of his own. Wally, and the three kids, will be our main characters. The scientist fellow has invented a new rocket fuel - which, naturally, prompts aliens from the planet Krankor to invade us. Soon, Phantom of Krankor is flying about semi-menacingly and broadcasting warnings. The efforts to meet the Krankor invaders at their landing site are foiled by a kind of deathray, shot out of an oversized lemon zester. Fortunately, the Prince of Space (secretly, Wally) appears, and chases the bad aliens off the planet, warning them that their weapons are useless against him.
Host Segment One : Holy crap. In one of the finest bits of writing on the show, we get a host segment as they travel through the wormhole, wherein time is disjointed. Must be watched to be believed. The interlaced out of sync dialogue is fantastic.
The aliens, realizing Prince of Space is their primary obstacle to conquering Earth, return more sneakily to try and hunt the guy down. Naturally, the kids notice the aliens’ return, and catch up with the bad guys right around the time they find an abandoned warehouse with the Prince’s energy signature. Prince of Space (hereafter, PoS) saves the kids from the aliens. Undaunted, the aliens try to hit the scientist’s lab to get the rocket fuel. PoS shows up there, too, and daunts them. Having been frustrated at most every turn, the aliens resort to snatch and grab kidnap tactics - grabbing some of Earth’s most brilliant minds.
Host Segment 2 : Alternate realities are blending, and our SoL is mixed with one on which Mike is a robot! Until host segment three, he remains in that form - meaning three puppets in the theater.
Krankor interrogates, taunts, and exposits to his captive scientists, and the Krankor vessel manages to elude PoS as they return to their homeworld. They dispatch a team to Earth to continue searching for PoS’s secret identity, though. This turns out about as well as the rest of the aliens’ plans.
Host Segment 3 : Mike and the Bots find themselves temporarily in a sylvan glen.
The final chunk of the movie is just about all… action, or a close facsimile. PoS flies to Krankor, quickly dispatches the guardian giant with an odd resemblance to Ross Perot, and breaks into Krankor HQ, saving the trapped scientists from the aliens’ evil clutches.
Finale : Phantom of Krankor appears on the SoL as Mike’s “wife” to prank the Bots. Pearl and Brain Guy find themselves in Ancient Rome.
Signature Riffs:
<Crow> “So is this gonna be a super-violent porn cartoon?”
*
Inspiring a running gag for the episode…*
<Child #1> “What’s wrong with bootblacking? We like it very much!”
<Crow, on hearing ‘Krankor’> “Crank-whore?”
<Phantom of Krankor> “Attention, people of Earth.”
<Tom, as Phantom> “Ba-kawk.”
<Mike> " An alien race too proud to ask for directions."
<Mike> “An exchange of deadly negative scratches.”
The aliens emerge form a cornfield…
<Crow, as alien> “Those Heaven’s Gate people were supposed to meet us here…”
PoS ducks to avoid the alien weapon fire that he has heretofore ignored.
<Crow, as PoS> “Your guns are useless - but scare the crap out of me anyway.”
<Mike> “Oh, the inanity!”
<Crow> “Oh, the Japanity.”
As a lone plane flies through the skies…
<Crow, as pilot> “Umm… Tora?”
<Officer> “Ah, Captain Manakata, come in.”
<Mike, as Officer> “I understand you’re stuffed with cheese.”
<Crow> “His power apparently lies in choosing incompetent enemies.”
<Phantom of Krankor> “What a fool.”
<Tom, as Phantom> “He has defeated us numerous times, what makes him think he can do it again?”
Riffbacks!
<All, as a group of Japanese folks> “We are Ken!” (Fugitive Alien)
There’s also a crowd scene wherein the crew exchanges some Gamera dialogue, but it was lengthy and I don’t want to spoil ALL the fun. Suffice to say, the ‘Turtle Meat’ phrase is used once.
Next : 8.17 - The Horror of Party Beach
The pace may be slower, but the end result is worth the wait.
Obviously, PoS is the same hero as in Invasion of the Neptune Men. Were these originally two separate movies with the same character, or were these compilations of TV episodes?
Also, why no under wear? Do these actors think their junk is so hot we all want to see it?
Can’t miss this line:
Phantom: Discharge the caustic vapors!
Mike as crew: Yeah, look who’s talkin’.
Yey! The Horror of Party Beach!! I found out a few years a go that my best friend’s husband was the Man In The Suit for this opus. I feel so sorry for him since he was hoping for a Black Lagoon type creature and ended up with the Hot Dog Monster.
Did he get to keep the suit?
That would be awesome for a sci-fi con!
Well, I hope you enjoy the compromise middle-length form. I felt that the primary thing the long-form added was that it gave the quotes more context, and I’ve tried to do that with italicized text with Prince of Space.
As far as I can tell, these are different heroes. And they are actual theatrical productions. They do share a writer.
Of course, Neptune Men stars Sonny Chiba(!!).
Now I REALLY hate these flicks! I mean, it’s basically the same movie done twice, once with the chickeny Krank-whores and then again with the bullet-headed men from Commander Cody-ville.
Gee, the Japanese seem to have issues with invasion motifs. Why could that be?
Sadly, no. But their house is a museum of almost everything else. I emailed the SOL website with his birthday and MST3K movies he has been in so they will list him this year in June.
I believe his other claim to cinematic fame was being the third butt from the left in the final hot tub scene of “Eating Raoul”.