Black holes are simply donut holes which got burned in the oven. They are also known as dark holes, brown holes, burnt holes, charred holes, and free holes, because you can get them for free since no one wants burned donut holes. They are available at all donut shops but you have to get there early in the morning so you can get them freshly burnt from the oven. You can get a dozen or as many as you want.
Next topic: Moby Dick
Britain is a country in Europe, which is full of Europeans. The Europeans all intermarried, so they have strange food, like “Holy Toad”, or “Mashin’ Bangers”. The most popular is Spotted Dick, which is, like, sausage or something. The singer Moby visited Britain, and could not eat the food, because he’s a Vulcan, and doesn’t eat meat. So they made a sausage out of lettuce and stuff, and called it “Moby Dick”.
Next: Albinism
A rare syndrome ONLY affecting employees of the Home Depot chain of stores. This affliction begins typically with a hyperfocused need to re-label all the bins in just one department.
If not treated in time ( and treatment is both vigorous AND smelly ), the compulsion will spread until the worker who is afflicted will stay long past his or her shift, systematically running new barcode labels for everything from false ceiling tiles to grout guns.
Sufferers of " All-Bin-Ism " tend to be summarily fired, and placed in a more suitable work environment.
Like, IHOP. 
A rare syndrome ONLY affecting employees of the Home Depot chain of stores. This affliction begins typically with a hyperfocused need to re-label all the bins in just one department.
If not treated in time ( and treatment is both vigorous AND smelly ), the compulsion will spread until the worker who is afflicted will stay long past his or her shift, systematically running new barcode labels for everything from false ceiling tiles to grout guns.
Sufferers of " All-Bin-Ism " tend to be summarily fired, and placed in a more suitable work environment.
Like, IHOP.
Next Topic: The Farthing.
The far thing is something that’s…
:: points out window::
over there. Anything can be a far thing; provided it is at an adequate distance from the person using the term, and that it is a thing.
THE END
Next: Fuel Cells
Fuel is the stuff that makes everything go. Because of this, much of today’s modern technology is dependent upon fuel. Therefore, the fuel sellers can make the price as high as they want to, and fuel still sells. However, the guy who wrote “fuel cells” is the brother of the guy who misspelled “school” and therefore the “cells” part was just a spelling error.
“My boyfriend had this band. They were called " The gang of fake weekends”. They were into Crash! Clash! Stomp! music; they sometimes used computer generated sounds. They had an undergrown following in Tacoma. The music reviewer at “The Music Machine” said they had a “saucy, industrial” sound. Their most requested song was a remake of the Beatles’ “Revolution”. That is all you need to know."
Next Topic: Entropy
Well aren’t I an idiot. I responded to the last one on the 1st page. Get my dunce cap now. It was “the industrial revolution” if anyone cares.
hanging head in shame
Evo
That’s OK, the last guy before you didn’t give a topic. It all works out.
Entropy is a gathering of Ents; living, walking trees from J.R.R. Tolkiens masterpiece, The Fnord of The Rings: The Two Powers. These creatures save a couple of bobbits named Larry and Pimpin (I think) from nasty Orcs. The bobbits inform the head Ent, Treebeer, about what Sore-On and Saucyman (the Two Powers mentioned in the title) are up to. Then the Ents proceed to Saucyman’s lair known as Orthunk and tear it down by digging in with their roots and causing all kinds of environmental havoc. Saucy learns not to mess with an Entropy. The End.
Next topic will be The Meaning of Life
Life is a nutritionally sound cerial, which means that it is fortified with calcium and 9 essential vitamins (www.lifecereal.com). And now, not only is life available in it’s original, tasty, version, there now is Cinnamon Life, which gives added sweetness to the cereal. Now, you can experience the meaning of Cinnamon Life, which still has all the calcium and vitamins and minerals, with added cinnamon flavor. Could life get any better than this?
Hey, “Discover the Meaning of Life” would be a great slogan for the cerial, wouldn’t it?
“cerial” being spelled “cereal”
AUGH! ARGH! MUST PUT IN ANOTHER TOPIC BEFORE THE WHOLE THREAD GOES UP IN FLAMES! UH…ER…
How about: Cereal
Cereal, an essay by Soup
ahem
Way out in the Pacific Ocean, there lives a primative tribe of indiginous folk, who have never seen the wonders of modern humanity. One day, a brave explorer, Sir Drancis Frake happened upon the isle, where he noticed their strange and exotic eating habits. They would go fishing with huge nets, and would eat the fish with native spices and the like. Frake noted this in his journal. Of course, they also caught other things in the nets, such as seaweed and eels. But, being the resourceful people that they were, they had to find a way to eat everything that the sea gave them. Although seaweed and eels have very disgusting tastes seperately, when combined, the rancidness of the one cancels out the bad taste of the other. This interesting food combination could only be cooked one way, or it wouldn’t work right. They needed to be mixed together with a cup of sea-water and seared above an open flame, after which, it was cooled, covered in goats’ milk, and eaten like a soup. Sir Drancis Frake loved the idea so much, he brought it back to England, and with nothing better to call it, he called it “sear-eel.” Unfortunately, an unscrupulous businessman found that one could achieve the same effect with sweet, toasted breads covered in milk. He then went to America, changed the spelling (as we must) and made a fortune. Jerk.
Next topic: The food guide pyramid
There are many pyramids throughout the world. The most famous, of course, include the Great Pyramid at Giza, and the Pyramids of the Sun and the Moon in Mexico.
But there’s one pyramid that outshines them all. Yes, I’m talking about the food guide pyramid. This amazing edifice was discovered by Sir Anthony Savage in 1842 in the wilds of the North American forests. Its survival is incredible, considering that it is formed entirely out of food.
The bottom level, approximately 50 feet high, is composed of a mixture of cereal grains. They were ground up and cemented together in some as-yet unidentified paste to create a substance impermeable by rain or beast.
The second level seems to be divided into two parts. This level, 40 feet high, has one section that is made entirely of fruits. It is theorized that the pectins in the fruit have held this section together. The other half of the second level is formed of vegetables. It is immediately obvious what holds this section together: the glutinous alleged foodstuff known as “okra.” Ancient man seems to have been very fond of okra, as it served duty both as food for those with undiscerning taste buds, and as a surprisingly sturdy building material.
The third level is, likewise, divided into two sections. This level is approximately 30 feet tall. One section is composed of a rotting, mouldering mass of cheeses and yoghurts. For some peculiar reason, insects seem to be particularly drawn to this section. The other section is composed of what appears to be meats, legumes, and eggs. It too is a strong draw for the insects. Further exploration of this level is impossible, as the insects are impossible to repel for extended periods of time.
The top level is a solid chunk of lard that was carved into the crown of the pyramid. One would think that the lard would melt in the heat of the summer. Curious thing, but it hasn’t.
The Food Guide Pyramid is a fascinating relic of the native groups of North America. Scientists and archaeologists even now are hard at work in efforts to unlock its mysteries.
Next topic: Stonehenge
Henges are very useful for keeping doors hanging in doorways, while still allowing people to get into and out of the room. In modern times, most henges are made out of metal, but cavemen hung the doors on their caves using stone henges.
Next topic: Aloe Vera
Aloe Vera deserved far more fame than she received in her heyday as a Hollywood star; in particular, her portrayals of Laura in Dance by the Light of the Moon and Millie in On the Stoop were highly lauded by Hollywood insiders. Beginning her career as a Broadway chorus girl, Ms. Vera was born Vera Aloe, but changed her name at the studio’s request when she moved to California in the mid-1930s.
Next topic: Tuna Casserole
Tuna Casserole
The casserole, as we all know, was one of the more prevalent musical instruments during the middle ages in the percussive session. It was the ancestor of the kettle drum, being broader and lower than said instrument. It was played with the skin at an angle to the sounding barrel, in order that greater or lesser volumes could be achieved depending on the size of the room. Of course, someone had to hold the skin at the proper angle: the tuner. Language being the primitive thing that it was, a tuner of casseroles quickly developed the colloquial name of a “Tuna Casserole”
Next topic:
Anathema
Attila the married a sweet girl named Ana from the next village over (He didn’t get along well with the in-laws so he burnt it to the ground shortly after) . She bore several children and was later refered to by historians as Ana the Ma.
Next topic: Coffee tables.
:smack: Attila the Hun dammit